News headlines in 2029

[Baclava]

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lb.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida and Ohio voters still having trouble with voting machines

[jojo54]

1. Why 2029?

Just asking.

[Baclava]

2. Why not? Better than 2012

I'll probably be dead by then...too.

[joems]

3. Yea exactly

2029.. geez

[Radical Activist]

4. George W. Bush dies in Guantanamo Bay Prison of natural causes

Passing of disgraced former President mourned by few.

[RubyCat]

5. The 2028 Republican presidential nominee mistakenly refers to

Ronald Reagan as "The Whopper" and goes with the campaign slogan "Win One for the Whopper".

[norml]

6. Asteroid To Impact Earth On April 13th. 2029: School Closings Inside

A really big potato's headed our way

March 6, 2005

BY ZAY N. SMITH Sun-Times Columnist Advertisement






From the NASA Ames Research Center:

"Update on 2004 MN4: Since we last reported on this 400-m NEA, new radar observations have further refined the orbit and shifted it closer to the Earth at its 2029 pass. Current predictions are that its closest approach on April 13, 2029, will be only 5.7 Earth radii (below the altitude of geosynchronous satellites). On that evening, it should be easily visible to the naked eye."



snip




http://www.suntimes.com/output/lifestyles/cst-nws-zay06.html

[norml]

7. Artificial Intelligence Surpasses Human Intelligence: Robots Demand Rights

First, however, robots will have to become significantly more intelligent, able to gauge the expressions of the people they encounter. Kurzweil estimates that we'll begin to see this human level of artificial intelligence around 2029. Until then, he believes less-realistic robots will be more successful.

snip

http://fpiarticle.blogspot.com/2005/03/giving-robots-human-face.html

[martymar64]

8. Apes rise up, take over

Damned dirty apes.