How prevalent is this "Hooking Up" craze?

[DerekG]

Granted, I'm 22, but as a commuter, I have little contact with "campus culture." And yet, from what I'm hearing from sources such as author Tom Wolfe, a good number of kids in my age group have eschewed dating and courtship altogether, choosing instead--to employ the lewdness this practice deserves--to just fuck as many people as possible.

How entrenched is this?

[HEyHEY]

1. I doubt it's that true

I had some pretty unsavory friends in college and in life... and I know few with that outlook. Sure, many have one night stands on occasion. But it's not like Plato's.

[Name removed]

2. Deleted message

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[liberalpragmatist]

3. Pretty common - but I'll clear up some misconceptions

Personally, I'm not big on the whole "hooking-up" scene. In fact, a post I made in the Lounge yesterday sort of touched on this (my own romantic troubles, but that's a different subject).

Basically, hooking-up can mean anything from making out to full-blown intercourse. To be honest, it's quite often *merely* making out. It's like the old "one-night stands" only not always sex and much more common.

It does seem at least on my campus that people DO date, but they sort of do both. Basically for lack of dating or a relationship, people just hook up. It's kind of funny b/c usually it's understood that nothing more will happen between two people. They don't even talk about it afterward. It just happens and that's all. The two people go their way and never speak of it again. Even if they're good friends (which happens) - it just happens and nothing more.

Personally I find it quite awkward and I'm not really comfortable doing the "hooking-up" thing. But it is quite common.

[WindRavenX]

4. It's the only form of social interaction at the school I go to

Which, ironically, is a Catholic school (that means no birth control at all).
There is no dating; only random hook-ups or "hi I'm 19 let's get married and have kids" type of relationships. No middle ground.
Because of this, I had to use an online dating service (democraticsingles.net) to find a sane, liberal man who was interested in DATING.
I'm no prude, so if people want to just fuck and run, fine. But the problem is the school IGNORES this face and REFUSES to give out condoms and lectures on safer sex. I volunteer at Planned Parenthood, and you know what Boston area school gets 70% of the morning after pill? The school that doesn't give out condoms. Know what school has the most abortions and STIs? The school that doesn't give out condoms.
That shit PISSES ME OFF.

[Nikia]

5. On my campus, a different form of hooking up

We went to a very small school so there were really only so many people one could fuck if one only had one night stands. Instead a number of people used this to jump start a relationship. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. It was a way to avoid the subtly of flirting and such. Opposite sex friendships were common and many people (we are all geeks here) hadn't had a lot of dating experience. It was a get right to the point thing.

[Ellen Forradalom]

6. Tom Wolfe is in his 70s

What the hell does he know about campus life these days?

[DerekG]

8. He spent over a year researching this phenomenon at dorm-room parties

Seriously, he watched these things unfold in colleges across the country. What college kid wouldn't admit one of the most popular authors in America to a shin-dig?

On edit: My apologies, said research was for his book "I Am Charlotte Simmons."

[AwakeAtLast]

7. It's starting way before college.

It is starting in middle school. In my school district it is well known that middle school dances can become oral sex parties if chaperones are not vigilant. There was also a group of students who were keeping track of their "hook-ups" on their phones and PDAs. And repubs think that abstinence-only is working. :eyes:

[LilKim]

9. In my day it was called sport fucking

You kids and your crazy lingo!

[Borgnine]

10. As a 21 college student...

I have no clue. My virginity will be beaten one day though... I promise you that.

It probably doesn't help that I'm posting on DU at 1:45 in the morning.

[DerekG]

12. Some advice...

If you've held out this long, wait for true love.

[Borgnine]

18. No thanks.

It's not by choice, mind you.

[mark414]

11. large university student here...

27,000 students...yeah...it's pretty common

[Jamison]

13. agreed, it's common

Large orgies were not too hard to find when I was in college. Some people participating in these (not me) would have 10+ partners in one night. No wonder STD rates are so high on college campuses.

[LSdemocrat]

14. As far as I know, hooking up does not necessarily mean sex

Although I have no actual experience in this area, I believe hooking up can amount to something less than sex and can be as limited as just heavy kissing and petting.

[SoCalDem]

15. Well... if you just want to risk an STD, and are not "picky",

maybe it's ok :shrug:..

In MY day :P we "hung out" in groups but it usually involved about 15 of us taking over a deserted section of a coffee house or diner, sitting there talking and playing the juke box, drinking coffee refill after refill and begging the place to stay open "just a little while longer"..

I'm sure that some of the people in the group "paired off", but there's really nothing "casual" about sex...never was..and anyone who says it is, is lying:)

When 2 people are involved, someone ALWAYS takes it more seriously and someone always gets hurt when it ends:(

[Radical Activist]

16. Less than in the 70's I'd guess

Did the corporate media just now figure out that young people have sex?

[Withywindle]

17. Tom Wolfe? Bwah!

I went to college in the late 80s/early 90s. Yeah, we "hooked up". No, we didn't "date" -- where would you go, in these tiny towns and tiny colleges where we all lived on campus?

The way I see it is, everyone I know hangs out in groups of friends that are mixed-gender. This is still true well into my 30s. Many of my closest friends throughout my life have been male, and we went to shows and movies and stuff together all the time, but they weren't "dates" because it wasn't like that (usually, we were being geeks together for the common interest; music or books or politics or what have you). However, if we "hooked up" somewhere down the line of our years of being buddies, well, that changed things! It becomes a "date" only AFTER you know there's that _vibe_, not before. And "hooking up" - i.e. having a makeout moment that might be full-blown sex or might not -- is HOW you know it's there and it's mutual. Simple as that.

My partner of five years, for example; he was a friend of a friend I saw at shows and used to jam with for years. Then one night we, y'know, "hooked up." Like, all the way. No turning back after that, it was just too good. :thumbsup: