What is the meanest thing someone has ever said to you?

[MNDEM2004]

When I was little my father always said, sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you !!! That is so untrue!!

[xmas74]

1. That I was fat, ugly, stupid

that no one else really liked me, that I would never be "good enough"-should I go on? This is all from one person and I was with them for almost five years.

[steve2470]

41. that was verbal abuse at its worst nt

[xmas74]

55. It was physical too.

Usually the comments were followed up w/ a backhand.

[imenja]

101. I'm so sorry

Did it put you off men for good?

[ChickMagic]

58. Were we married to the same person?

The day before I left him, he drove me around in the middle of the night to see all the homeless people telling me that I'd be just like that if I ever left him.

[xmas74]

77. did you live in Missouri?

[Nite Owl]

2. When my sons were little

and got mad at me for saying no to something they would call me a Republican. Now that is bad!

[B Calm]

3. Your Fired

[Jokinomx]

4. Your a F***ker and an A**hole.

Just last week in fact.... in the work place no less... She was mad at me for TELLING her if she would quit talking so much maybe she could keep up with production.

[JimmyJazz]

5. You are fat, lazy and uncoachable.

I was 14, 4'11" and weighed 96 pounds. It kinda stuck with me.

[In Truth We Trust]

9. 4'11" and 96 llbs is fat? wtf. who said that to you- Twiggy

I always detest the personal attacks on things people can not control. I would rather be critisized foer something I have an ability to alter (if neccessary).

[JimmyJazz]

13. You missed the "uncoachable" part - he was my gymnastics coach.

But, gymnastics doesn't lead to eating disorders or anything like that, you know. :silly:

[In Truth We Trust]

22. wonderful coach........ perhaps he should hook up with some parent

who hears sonmething like that said of their kid. If he said such a thing to one of my children I'm sure he would still be regretting it. I promise that.

[JimmyJazz]

27. Parents are specifically kept from practices at the

advanced and elite levels - just for that purpose. Parents were never allowed at practice sessions. They said it was to keep parents from being "stage moms" and from interfering, but it's so that they can scream and yell at these young kids in an effort to get them to do what they do.

The athlete fears the coach more than the "trick" and will do anything to please the coach.

I'm sorry, I feel like I'm hijacking this thread, but it really is a brutal sport.

[Maine-ah]

81. I am 4'11"

and 96lbs I look like I'm dying. 110 is perfect.

[CelticWinter]

6. When I was a teen my

father said that he was gonna kill me and take my body out to the swamp and no one would ever know what happened to me.

[JimmyJazz]

14. Jeez - that is HORRIBLE - what in the world are people thinking

when they say this crap -- :hug:

[steve2470]

28. I agree with her, take away his parent license and put him in

parent prison.

[MNDEM2004]

50. They don't think.

They don't think before they speak. That's the problem.

[redqueen]

86. My father said similar things.

Somehow it was easier for me to dismiss the threats to kill the whole family than the personal insults... I wonder why that is.

[prozacnation]

7. From my lovely ex-stepmother

When I was little (perhaps 8) my ex-stepmother was raging at me. She was an unmedicated manic depressive. Anyway, she had me cornered and told me all of these horrible mean things but the one that I still remember to this day, was that I was an ugly b*tch and that she hoped I died and went to hell and had no friends. Right after that she started pacing in the kitchen with a knife. Nice, huh?

[MNDEM2004]

10. Sorry I asked!

What a horrible thing to remember. Welcome to the DU!!!!:-)

[In Truth We Trust]

12. Horrible absofreaking horrible. I'm glad you survived and please

allow me to welcome you to DU.

[prozacnation]

71. Thanks

She was wife number three in a long line of interesting choices that my Dad made. Of course none of the others were as sweet as her. :eyes:

[Maddy McCall]

8. When I was in 7th grade, a bitter bitchy girl in my class said...

in front of a whole gaggle of other girls: "No wonder you were adopted. Even your real mother didn't want you."

I slapped her across the face, which knocked her on her ass. It happened in the lunch room so a teacher saw and sent me to the principal's office. When I told him what she said, he let me off with NO punishment at all.

Funny thing was, I actually made friends after that experience. Many girls came up to me and told me that what she said was really horrible and that they hated her, too.

[faithfulcitizen]

46. good for you! why are some little girls so unbelievably cruel!?

[trotsky]

131. Hurray for your principal!

What that girl said was despicable. Did she learn from the experience, or was she always mean to you after that?

[Nikia]

11. My mother said a couple of mean things

I dated my first serious boyfriend from 15-16 years old. He was a couple years older. He was average intelligence, a little below average on looks, and very moody. He didn't always treat me the greatest. After a few months, I considered breaking up with him. My mother said "You know, you should be glad that you have him. You probably should stay with him because probably no one else will ever want you." In retrospect, even if I had been very ugly, weird, and socially awkward like my mother evidently thought, no one (especially one's mother) should ever say that to a teenaged girl.
I guess that wasn't as bad though as "You ruined my life by being born." In a fight about why it was my duty to be a good daughter and do everything that my mother wanted me to do, even if it wasn't in my best interests.

[steve2470]

15. probably an ex boss who would not give me a reference

that was just pouring salt into an open wound.

[Left Is Write]

16. "You are the ugliest girl I've ever seen."

Spoken by Brian E. at my locker one day in 8th grade.

I've received many a compliment since then, but I will never forget the stinging, crushing blow delivered by those words 25 years ago.

Second runner-up? The former "friend" who called my first child a bastard because I had her while unmarried.

[steve2470]

19. bastard ? That must have been a fundy !

god how cruel.

[Rowdyboy]

17. "Do the world a favor...Don't ever dance with anyone else again"

I was 17, awkward and sensitive. Thirty years later, I'm still very shy about dancing.

[Left Is Write]

Awwwww...man.

I don't know why, but that just made me feel really, really sad.

[Rowdyboy]

31. It was Halloween, my senior year, and I was with my only High School

girlfriend. It was never the same after that (she's a lawyer now :shrug: )

Thanks for caring. It was such a little thing, she really meant no harm, but it made me very insecure and to a kid who was already REAL uncomfortable, it hurt.

[steve2470]

29. who said that crap to you ? that is horrible, so cruel nt

[Rowdyboy]

49. Halloween, 1971, my senior year....

I took my girl friend and her best female friend to a costume party. Sad to say, I really do dance like a clumsy white boy, but it doesn't stop me. Even though I look stupid, I love to dance, now.

[redqueen]

88. Yay for you!

You don't look stupid, I promise... to thinking, caring people, you look like you're a fun person who knows how to have a good time. :)

[BiggJawn]

18. "Keep your mouth shut when my friends come over...

...Because nobody GIVES a shit about that geeky-assed shit you're into, and it embarasses me when you talk. Just stay back by the grill and keep that shit coming till you run out or everyone leaves..."

Instructions from my (ex)wife before one of her cookouts.
Can't remember if that was the party where she met the girl she dumped me for or not...

[MNDEM2004]

24. How horrible!

No one should be treated like that!

[steve2470]

25. I agree, with a wife like that, who needs enemies ? nt

[BiggJawn]

30. Well, at least my therapy sessions aren't boring.

Almost 9 years later, and it still fucks with me.
Hey, I'm doing OK, nobody gets close enough to treat me like that anymore. Problem is, I don't let anybody get close, period.

[hickman1937]

51. Fire your therapist. BiggJawn, this is too long.

Was she really that cool that 9 yrs later she's still affecting how you live? Sorry. I hope I didn't get this thread locked. But dammit, I'll bet my next two paychecks that you are worth more than her, and I'm not talking about money.

[BiggJawn]

53. Oh, you mis-understood...

I've only been in therapy for 3 months this time.
Had some when it happened to deal with "anger issues" (band-aid to keep me from throwing shit at people at work) then it lay dormant for 8 years.

Yeah, instead of a red sports car and a 20-y-o bimbo and a fistfull of Viagra, I asked myself one day "Is this all there is?" Go to work, have as little interaction with people as possible, go shopping, ignore people, go home, eat, sleep, argue with people on the internets, go to bed thinking Humanity is the biggest waste of Protein ever devised, lather, rinse, repeat....Pretty miserable lonely existence.

I don't understand what you mean by "cool"? Was Auschwitz cool? Do WWII vets still have screaming nightmares because Bastogne was "cool"? Do people get "pain and suffering" money because what they went through was "cool"?

[hickman1937]

105. By "cool" I meant people that we see as better or more valuable

than us in a relationship, especially at the end when they are moving on to someone or something that they percieve as better. I've gotten lost in their perception of me as less valuable, and it is false. I didn't see the quicksand at first, but I did at last. There is no sarcasm button, or I would have used it when I said "cool". Please explain the Auschwitz thing.

[BiggJawn]

124. I still don't really get it.

My perception was that she was so much smarter than me, so her opinion carried a lot more weight. After all, she constantly told me how much smarter she was than me, how damn lucky I was that she'd even TALK to me (nobody else would, because I was so geeky), etc.

I was blind. But that's the way this crap works, y'know?

Same idea, it seems, I just wouldn't use the word "cool" to describe her. Another word that begins with "C" is more what I was thinking...

As for Auschwitz, would that not qualify as the ultimate abusive situation?

[okieinpain]

20. Pu**y. by a female because I was not hitting on females at work.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

64. Like that episode of "Oz"

in which the female cop comes on to the facility's director and he rejects her, and she says "what, am I no good in bed, is that what you're saying?? Cocksucker!!!"

[okieinpain]

83. yep pretty much so, what makes it even worse is everybody knew

I was married. so why would I go around hitting on co-workers.

[TNDemo]

21. When I was 10 I was reading some goofy book

called "A New You," the basic pre-teen thing about how to put on make-up and how to dress and be popular, really sickening crap but at the time I was coming out of being a tomboy and trying to grow up. It suggested asking your mother on what you need to improve about yourself. So I bounced into the kitchen and asked her and evidently it was a pissy day for her because she said, "There's nothing wrong with your looks. It's your crappy personality that's the problem." I kinda slunk out of there after that one but it is 38 years later and I still remember it.

[steve2470]

23. your mom should have been slapped for that, geez nt

[Left Is Write]

26. Ouch.

Ouch, ouch, ouch.

I'm sorry.

[tridim]

32. A girl I liked in high school told me I had no personality

Probably true at the time, but it was still mean. I used to be extremely shy. Later in college, another girl told me I had the coolest personality of anyone she'd ever met. That statement certainly healed that old wound.

[mongo]

33. I only married you to have someone to take care of me,

you taught me how to take care of myself and I don't need you anymore.

The night my first wife walked out on me.

[steve2470]

35. ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nt

[Midlodemocrat]

38. Well, based on your kind response to me over the weekend

she is an absolute loser and you are well rid of her.

[mongo]

48. Thank you

She has her issues, that's for sure.

When our daughter was 14 she started rebelling against her mom who called me and told me she was getting in trouble and would I take her - I said sure - she said fine, I'll bring her tomorrow. And she lives 500 miles away. So I got custody on 24 hour notice.

What a wonderful gift for me. My daughter had a rough period from 14-15 (who didn't) but we came to terms with each other and she matured some and it's been great ever since. She just turned 20 and is in college about an hour south of me.

[Samurai_Writer]

121. I got the topper for that one...

"I only married you because you make good money and to get on your insurance."

Sad, but true.

Bella, who is happily single and does NOT hate all men just because she married a pathological liar and sociopath.

[TNDemo]

34. The worst nonverbal thing said to me was when I was about 11.

My mother and I had gone to the Krystal for supper. We pulled up to the drive-in and were facing two guys in a convertible sports car. They were probably in their late teens. I was thinking how good looking I thought they were when I began to catch on that they were having the opposite discussion about me. At the time I had those goofy white cat glasses (popular now - go figure) and I was yet to get braces on my buckteeth so I was a real doll. They were snickering and then their food came. The guy driving the car I could tell was saying he would not be able to eat and look at me so he threw his jacket up on the windshield in front of him and the guy beside him kinda hit him and told him to stop. I remember sitting there with heat radiating off my face and hoping my mother did not catch on because I was so humiliated that I would affect perfect strangers that way. That is such an awful age that I would never go back to. In a couple of years the braces came off and I got contacts and when I look back at the pictures now I wonder why I was insecure about my looks as a teenager (maybe it was because I was a girl, duh) but I never got over the fact that I evidently grossed those guys out.

[steve2470]

37. that one guy was a complete idiot.......never ceases to amaze nt

[faithfulcitizen]

45. When I was 12, my first boyfriend broke up with me & said...

I looked like a monkey. Then, as I boarded the school bus everyday and walked by him and his friends in the hallway, they chanted "monkey face, monkey face!!!" I was devastated!

but the good news is, the guys in high school loved my luscious lips and so does my hubby! so, :P on him!

[steve2470]

47. ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nt

[Samurai_Writer]

122. Something similar...

I was walking down the seawall in Galveston with my son. I was about 28 and my son was 8. We walked past this group of young guys and they "Mooo"ed at me. Talk about embarrassing! My son was really upset and wanted to go kick all their asses. I was not as confident back then about myself as I am now. I just walked away. These days, I would be turning around and confronting those assholes.

Peace,
Bella

[intrepid_wanderer]

36. "You don't know enough to care, nor do you care enough to know!"

... said by an angry friend, looking to hurt... it did... and took a while to realize that it was motivated by anger much more than a lack of either capability.

UGH <interesting thread>

[steve2470]

40. ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nt

[Lady Effingbroke]

39. my ex-bf told me that I had the personality of a dial tone.

One of the many reasons why he is now my ex!

[steve2470]

42. that is horrible........you go girl nt

[RedFireDiamonds]

43. Politically and personally...

Politically: It's not really one thing but a lot of things...I live in very, very, very, conservative, Republican Lancaster County Pennsylvania and in 8th grade(the 2000 election) we did a mock election, I was the only person in my class to vote democrat and I was picked on for it the whole year.

Personally: I have a chronic disorder called Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue and my older brother told me once that I "bragged about my disease in order to get attention." That hurt...

[jdj]

94. yikes, my mother said I bragged about my sexual abuse to get attention

at the hands of her father no less. This was right when I started to get therapy and talk about it.. Of course she denies saying that now, but somethings you can never forget no matter how hard you try.

One think my sister said to me, and I haven't heard many people mention sisters here, was "You sound so stupid when you try to sound smart." That burned into my consciousness, I was about 8 or 9 and just deciding to try to get good grades and go to college instead of being a housewife like my family/our fundie church was telling me was my only option. I still dumb myself down a bit out of fear of sounding stupid if my intelligence comes out, white trash poser that I am.

[steve2470]

44. after reading all this, it puts things in perspective in a hurry nt

[hickman1937]

52. "Well you know, I'm not really her father, and I have other

obligations now." this from the man I married when my Kate was 11 months old, made me promise that if her biofather ever tried to contact us, he'd take care of it, treated her as his little princess for the first 12 years of her life, lead her to believe that she was his child always, then hooked up with an insecure, possessive, person with two kids. After that marriage ended, he has spent some time trying to get Kate back. She's a very kind person, but she was 13, and it had a dreadful effect on her life. She tries, but it's not a priority. She's 24 now, who knows?

[terrya]

54. "faggot" - with the hate right behind it.

I heard that more than a few times in high school. I can only wish the guys who used that vile slur that they are now living miserable, unhappy lives.

[Jessica]

57. Assholes. Chances are, they are miserable ...

Funny how things work out -- quite often, those who get picked on in high school end up doing well in life & being very happy. And those who were the pickers stay behind, doing the same crap they did when they were 18. Miserable.

[Midlodemocrat]

69. Trust me, they are.

If I have learned anything, it is that 'if you sit by the river long enough, you will see the bodies of your enemies float by'.

My mom, God rest her soul, said that all the time and it has come true for me more than once. Rotten, evil people get theirs in the end.

[jdj]

98. Reminds me of a Dorothy Allison quote

"I told my mother I thought I was going crazy.

She said 'Our people do not go crazy. Instead, we stand up pie-eyed and toothless twenty years later, NAMING OUR ENEMIES AND OUTLIVING THEM."

She's a self-proclaimed white trash lesbian from Greenville SC, winner of the Booker Prize, who had her book "Bastard out of Carolina" made into a film by Angelica Huston, Jennifer Jason Leigh playing the lead role. Home girl done good, despite growing up in the bigoted nightmare that is the south.

[KitchenWitch]

56. A freeper relative of mine called me a Nazi

Long story

[Corgigal]

59. 11 year old son

just yesterday came home from school and told me he is being called the "nerd" in his science class because he reads books.

You just know I want to do some mommy slap down. I just don't where to begin yet.

[calico1]

60. I was called a dirty spic a few times

or a greasy, dirty spic. Hurtful, especially when you are little and it comes from strangers. You don't really understand but you know its bad. On a more personal level I think the most hurtful words said to me were by my mother and aunt. Both told me several times during my life that I was good for nothing, would never amount to anything. My mom once told me I thought I was so smart because I had a college degree but that I was really dumb as dirt. Both of them resented never being able to finish school which they both liked. I think the comments come mainly from issued they both had in childhood. I was the first in my generation in my family (mother's side) to get a college degree. So on the one hand they were proud of me, but on the other, bitter and resentful it wasn't them I guess.

[last_texas_dem]

61. Ex-girlfriend

After dating two years, my ex-girlfriend broke up with me by saying (among other things) that "being intimate" with me was like being intimate with her brother. (She has had this problem of getting "unattracted" to boyfriends due to familiarity in every relationship she has been in.) You have to believe that hurts like hell; I mean what can you even say to that.

In junior high/high school, I got the typical insults that always get thrown around to the less popular kids: fag, pansy, ugly buck-toothed motherfucker (probably my favorite), dork, etc., but those don't hurt anymore. I learned that a few years back some members of my extended family were attacking my political beliefs behind my back which hurt worse.

[hickman1937]

100. Hey, I've got buck teeth. The only time it ever hurt

was when my older brother, who I worshipped, called me Bucky Beaver for two years when I was 13 and 14. That hurt. I've let it go, because he is still the best person I know. He would eat himself up with guilt if I ever brought it up.

[last_texas_dem]

112. Yeah

I know what you mean. I always looked up a lot to my older sister but there was a time in her life where she was going through some stuff and was mean to me more than usual; that kinda stuff can hurt the worst.

I eventually grew into my buck teeth; it was a matter of getting braces and having the rest of my teeth catch up size-wise. They really stood out in elementary school and, to a degree, in junior high. I still (literally) have a big mouth, though, but I smile a lot and make the most of it!

[fudge stripe cookays]

62. Brace yourself, it's bad.

"I wish you had strangled on your umbilical cord."



From my mother.



Is it any wonder we have a...somewhat....hostile relationship?

FSC

[SarahB]

63. Your mom and my mom should go bowling.

I don't even want to go into all the crap I've heard from mine. :(

[fudge stripe cookays]

65. Did yours threaten to kill you too?

This was 2 years ago.

She said she was going to bring her gun, ring the doorbell, and when I answered, shoot me. And that she "had a new car, so no one would even know who did it."

FSC

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

73. Hang in there. There are folks here who have your back and

can listen.

[fudge stripe cookays]

74. Thanks.

She seems to have mellowed out for the moment, but it goes in stages.

I'm eager to get to Alberta so I can be 1500 miles away instead of just 200. It would make me feel ever so much safer.

FSC

[SarahB]

75. Not quite, but I'm sorry.

:hug:

I just don't like to talk about it much myself in detail. I truly empathize though.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

87. are you my long lost twin?

[fudge stripe cookays]

92. I wish I was!

I'm sure you would have been a much better sister than the selfish jerk-off I got for a brother.

You've already heard about my mother-- my brother is just as bad in his OWN way. Doesn't care about anyone but himself, never has and never will. Is ALSO completely estranged from my mom.

Missed my wedding, claiming he had to work. Which he didn't. He CHOSE to work. He has never met my husband in the almost 5 years we've been married.

He could have been a real help to me being a stable male influence during my teen years when I was ready to off myself. But he wasn't. We are completely estranged.

How I WISH I'd had a cool sister instead!

:-)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

93. I am more than willing to be the cool sis now

Sorry for that...things were a bit rough in my house growing up too...there's still tension but we've all evolved a bit since then..even my mom to some degree although she still has her moments

[iconoclastNYC]

66. I had a friend who told me everyone hated me.

So this friend of mine basically hated himself and was very jealous of me, and he'd find subtle little ways to tell me that everyone didn't like me, and after a while it stuck, and I didn't go out and socialize much.

I *do* rub people the wrong way when I meet people because I've very confident, very oppioniated and very intelligent and i wasn't raised with enough tact. I'm aware of this flaw, but he was wrong to be feeding me this negativity. A lot of people I rub the wrong way are people I woudln't want to be freinds with anwyay.

It took moving to NYC to shake that impression I had of my social potential.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

67. Not really just one thing, but...

I had problems in high school, and with one high school in town, attended it with relatives.

Well, one of these relatives (4 years younger than me) became very successful while I have just kind of managed to do your average work-a-day thing.

At Christmas four years ago or so, after he'd really achieved his success, in front of the whole family, he made a totally out of left field sarcastic remark about those problems loud enough so everyone could hear. I was so embarrassed, and also amazed that he could be so petty given the disparity in our material circumstances.

That either means he wants me and has leftover anger, or that he's a mouthy little brat.

Either way, from now on, I will always be too busy for him.

[Red State Rebel]

68. It's a good thing your twin died, I couldn't handle 2 of you - 3rd grade

teacher.....

[Lavender Brown]

70. That's inexcusable

She/He should have been reprimanded or fired.

[Red State Rebel]

72. She was a mean old witch - never forgot her for that

[Dervill Crow]

127. OMG, and that woman is a TEACHER?!

[ffm172]

76. "You didn't even cry at your dad's funeral"

came from my ex-bf after I dumpe him. He couldn't understand that I didn't cry when I left him and threw that at me to tell me how cold I am. Yes, I did not cry at the funeral but he knew exactly how bad I missed my dad.
Oh and during our relationship he used to tell me that I was a party pooper and that he doesn't need someone who doesn't know how to have fun (after I dragged him out of a gambling boat because I had enough after hours there - I hate gambling in the first place)

[Rob H.]

78. I can't remember the exact words, but

I went to my senior prom in high school with my (at the time) best friend and his girlfriend. I went with her best friend, who I had met about a month earlier and started dating. The Monday after prom she stopped speaking to me completely. Why? Because she was in love with my best friend and only went with me to be near him--apparently that was her plan from the very beginning, and she only started going out with me because that's what she had in mind all along. I've never felt like such a repulsive freak in my life and didn't date for years after that happened.

The worst part--she actually said, when she was explaining why she had just pulled my heart out, run it through a meat grinder and then set it on fire, "It's nothing personal."

Right.



(I know it's not nearly as bad as some other things posted on this thread, but still. It was mean.)

[MrSandman]

79. Are you from Mingo County?

[tjdee]

80. "It was just a drunk little moment." Particularly because it wasn't true.

And was later recanted.

Doesn't seem like much (particularly when I compare it to "I can't have anything to do with this baby.")...but coming from that person, at that time, it was devastating.

[maveric]

82. "We'll never promote someone like you to foreman. You're an embarrassment

to our department". I'm a stutterer and was by far the best candidate for the foreman's position.
If I didnt need the job to support my wife and kids I would have sued.
Fuckers!

[Cuban_Liberal]

84. "All of your people are lazy and on welfare"

I was about 10 at the time, and living in Texas (suprise, surprise).

:grr::argh:

[redqueen]

85. Tough...

Number one would be my dad telling me that I was ugly.

Number two would be an ex telling me as they were dumping me that the reason they were doing so was that they didn't want to be with a 'freak'.

[Dervill Crow]

89. My sister-in-law

was bad-mouthing my mom, and I was defending mom. My SIL said, "And another thing. I think it's really too bad your mom never told you that you were adopted."

I was 27 years old and had no idea that I wasn't my parents' kid. Not a great way to find out.

[TNDemo]

91. My mother found out the same way.

She was about 10-11 years old and on the swingset with her cousin. When she refused to give up her swing to her the cousin said "Well, you're adopted."

[Kire]

97. Agreed, not a great way, but she's right.

It is really too bad.

:hug:

[Dervill Crow]

126. Very true.

There was a lot more to the story. (Cue violins.) One of the reasons, I suspect, that it was kept secret because the adoption was not ever actually legally filed because my semi-adoptive mom (hereafter referred to as mom) was never divorced from her first husband in NC, even though she came here to Oregon with and lived with my (semi-adopted) dad from 1945 onward. Also my birth mom didn't sign any paperwork after I was born. It was kind of a good news/bad news thing, because my mom was very relieved to have it out in the open. It took me a long, long time to get over my anger at my parents for keeping it from me, but looking back I see one particular time that my mom dropped a hint (that she worried about my brother inheriting grandma's seizure disorder), and if I had been savvy enough to follow up on it she probably would have been forthcoming. Oh well, since I've had kids I've realized that people don't screw up their kids' lives on purpose.

[Red State Rebel]

106. Bitch!

I can't believe someone could be so cruel!! I'm not a violent person, but let me at her!

[MNDEM2004]

90. Good thread.

Didn't think it would go anywhere. Thanks for the responses.

[Kire]

95. Mom said "I'm the adult."

I was 27 years old. I had just changed the channel on the radio in the car. She didn't like what was on. We were on our way to the airport after my Dad's funeral.

[Quixote1818]

96. I was called Stupid many many times in Elementary School

because I am Dyslexic and had fallen way behind. It messed me up pretty bad for a while.

[InvisibleTouch]

99. Accused me of not loving my dogs...

...because I don't feed them on the dot at 6 PM every evening.

This was in the midst of a 6-hour rant about how horrible I was, dredging up every conceivable and imagined incident from the course of the last 30 years - and that snipe about the dogs is the only thing I even registered, let alone remembered.

[Bouncy Ball]

102. All of them are from my mother.

And they range the gamut from "I don't want you anymore" (I was seven) to "whore" and "slut" (I was TWELVE!!!) to accusing me of being my stepfather's "little wifey" which wasn't true. She had moved out and left us with him and he was an alcoholic and my brother ran away and someone had to cook and clean and do laundry and she came back and I think she was (inappropriately) jealous. She said that one many times.

Oh and my stepgrandfather saying "Don't ever call me grandpa, kid. I ain't your grandpa now and I never will be, thank God."

All I could think about was the grandfather who really DID love me and wasn't allowed to see me (evil mother again), who, despite his nonviolent bent, woulda kicked that man's ASS for saying that to me.

Man, I'm remembering more. My stepfather, despite his drinking, really did have a good heart, but once he told me "You know, if your nose were just a TINY bit thinner, you'd be a real knockout."

Um, thanks? My nose *isn't* wide to begin with.

[imenja]

103. This thread breaks my heart

There are so many cruel people in the world. I prefer not to think of the awful things people have said to me because I have a dissociative personality.

[Radical Activist]

104. I love you

as a friend.

[wtmusic]

113. Straight through the heart

Yes....yes.

[dad]

107. It is hard to pick out the worst one

from the yrs of verbal and physical abuse from my asshole father. One thing I got constantly was the "You're a cancer on the family, we don't want you, why don't you move out .. yada yada" routine. I mean not just once, but all the time. And this started when I was about 9 or 10 freaking yrs old!! But none of the shit he ever said could ever bother me, because I completely discounted it all. I literally thought of him as a walking piece of shit- which he was - obviously. I moved out senior year of high school and have not looked back. Fucker is lucky we did not have any guns in the house, or he would've had an accident.

[foxy]

108. Someone once called me a dirty legged cunt.

But I also took into consideration the source.

[Maine-ah]

109. It wasn't directly at me

I work in a very small business, 5 people. The boss and her husband, me and my husband, and one other person. Anyway the fist Christmas there the boss's husband gave me a hug, ya know, merry Christmas, and I overheard her say to him, "she's cute, but she ain't all that bright". So since then, I've played stupid for 5 years, I don't get anywhere, I can't believe they haven't fired me yet. But I'm paid well, no bennies but It's a relatively cushy job.

[fleabert]

110. my 'best friend' in high school called me one night, randomly,

and told me she didn't want to be friends anymore. that she wouldn't be talking to me at school or calling me anymore, because she wanted to be popular and make the dance team. I was 'pulling her down into a rut' that she didn't want to be in. I was flabbergasted, and devastated. I wasn't a total geek either, I dated, knew lots of people, just not the 'right' people according to her. (we had just started 10th grade)I was a geek, before high school, and that just made me more insecure than I already was. I still get scared that people don't really like me and will stop being my friend after a while. High school really fucks us up for life sometimes.

edit: after reading the whole thread I have to say that this seems pretty pale in comparison, it really sucks, the absurd level to which some will stoop to make others feel bad (and themselves feel better). I was very lucky to have a loving family and I wish I could give every single person here a huge hug and make y'all some comfort food (what my mom would do for me).

[peacefreak]

111. When I was in the middle of my divorce

my soon-to-be-ex called me & told me I needed to take a HIV test because he was positive. It was a lie.

[Divameow77]

114. When I was talking to a co-worker

about losing my Grandmother to Alzheimer's and he told me he thought Alzheimer's was population control.

His mother should have thought about population control before she had him.

[wtmusic]

115. "meanness" is in the ear of the hearer

I'm sure people have said things many times to me intending to be "mean" but because I didn't care about them it wasn't "mean" to me.

People that I care about don't say mean things to me (not an accident...)

[Lerkfish]

116. when my wife died, my stepmother said if I had been "right with god",

she wouldn't have died.

this was in the limo on the way to bury the ashes.

said it to my face.

I swear, if the doctor didn't have me on valium to deal with the intense grief, I would have committed murder in that limo.

keep in mind, I was a church goer, just not the right wing church my stepmother attends.

[Rob H.]

118. That "right with god" comment deserved a right cross

That's a fucked-up thing to say under any circumstances, but to her husband on the way to her funeral? That's just sick and wrong--you have way more self-control than I would have had. Sorry you had to bear that, Lerkfish. :(

[Lerkfish]

120. thanks, like I said, without the valium, there would have been a different

outcome.

because I was heavily doped up (because the grief was like a mountain on me), I just kind of looked at her, shocked, and said nothing to her the rest of the day.

When my father died, years later, I was tempted, for just a wee moment, to return the favor to her...but I resisted.

[TheCentepedeShoes]

117. At about 10

I got a vitiligo spot on my left arm. Great-aunt said to keep it covered because people would think I had leprosy, like in the Bible. Said if I had kids I'd give it to them, so I'd better not think about getting married. Grew up feeling "dirty" and obsessed with the fear of what would happen if/when "it" started to spread.
BTW - I've never told anyone about the vit. I have such a fair complexion that when it did start to spread it turned out to be almost unnoticable. Even hubby doesn't know, just thinks I'm the fair Nordic type.

[jswordy]

119. "You'll never amount to anything."

Thanks Dad! Heh.

[MissMillie]

123. That I'm going to die

:shrug:

[kick-ass-bob]

128. at least it wasn't in the recent past!

:7

[medeak]

125. "you have Kathie Lee Gifford hair"

a friend said... so I signed her up in the Kathie Lee fan club and she received all kinds of Kathie Lee shit monthly for a year.

[musette_sf]

129. My first true love

met someone else... and when he broke up with me, he told me, as if I should understand why he was dumping me, "Well, she comes from a good family, you know".

(1) and this meant my family was ?!?!?!?!
(2) I knew the girl's family, and the only way you would say it was good was if you also thought the Sopranos were a good family.

Bottom line was that her family had money (regardless of how it was gotten) and mine didn't, so that made her family good and mine not good.

It's been 32 years and it still hurts to think someone would say that I didn't come from a "good family".

[cedahlia]

130. My dad called me a Republican

(In so many words.) This was in the midst of a very bad argument over how I was going to pay for my remaining college tuition. He hurt my feelings so bad with that remark that I hung up on him and cried for a long time. We've since made up, but that was such a nasty thing for him to say, given how he and I both feel about Republicans. :-(