Jury selection to begin in trial of pretzel that tried to kill Bush.

[MikeG]

Prosecutors are pushing for the max.

[calico1]

1. I hope they fry the pretzel!

:silly:

[gizmo1979]

2. Sue the pretzel for malpractice it

didn't get the job done.

[punpirate]

3. Has the jury been stacked...

... with pork rinds?

[MrScorpio]

4. That pretzel is really in a bind

Can he twist his way out?

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

5. McCoy seeking plea bargain

but his Repuke boss, Arthur Branch (played by Fred D. Thompson, former Repuke Senator from TN) wants to salt this pretzel away until he rots (or in this case, goes stale.)

McCoy's alter ego, Sam Waterston, protests by going to Cooper Union to read the Constitution and recite some of Lincoln's speeches, reminding everyone that "all men are created equal" but that those who can't swallow a pretzel should have their words always taken with a grain of salt.

[LeftyMom]

6. The prosecution calls expert witness Dr. Robert Atkins,

testifying via Ouija board.

[BrklynLiberal]

7. You are in rare form tonight!!!! LOL.

[chaumont58]

8. Attempted justifiable homicide

*

[liberal43110]

9. Prospective jurors are asked to disclose any previous associations...

...with other snack foods.

[nytemare]

10. Lethal butter injection

rub salt on the wounds!

[CO Liberal]

11. Star Witness For The Prosecution - Mister Salty!!!

Source: http://theimaginaryworld.com/

[edbermac]

12. It was actually Mr Planter!! The pretzel is being framed!

You know how George likes nuts with his beer...