Help me decide what to dooooooooo!

[crispini]

Ok, a coworker has invited me (and the entire DEPARTMENT) to his wedding. Nice person, we get along in that co-worker sense of the word, not really a personal friend, but I like him.

Now, the wedding will be in the evening. That same day I will be attending an all-day Democratic forum event sponsored by my county party, which will very likely be topped off with a bloody, thrilling, nailbiting, power-struggle sort of meeting. The last time we had one of these we started drinking DURING the meeting. I mean, the action in our county party at the moment rivals Fear Factor on a good day.

So, anyhoo. After the Showdown at the OK Corral, I know perfectly well I'm not going to want to change into something wonderful, drive an hour, and attend a co-worker's FORMAL EVENING wedding. I'm not even sure how late the meeting will run, but I know darn well that afterwards we will all need to go hide in some dark bar, curse, and smoke cigarettes to recover. Not look nice, be polite and on my best behaviour.

But I hate hate hate not going to weddings when people invite me. I know it means a lot to people when they invite you to these functions and you show up even if you hate going. I pretty much make it a universal rule to ATTEND these things. And if I didn't have a nailbitingly exciting day scheduled prior, I would most certainly attend.

Thoughts? What should I do, kids?

[Bok_Tukalo]

1. Buy a significantly nicer gift than you had planned on and skip it

<eom>

[Lavender Brown]

2. How frequent are the party meetings?

If they happen every so often, forgo this one and go to the wedding. You can always go to the next one, whereas your friend will only get married once. Hopefully.

[crispini]

3. We have them once or twice a year.

And this will be a particularly significant and memorable one because of the current power struggle. There are more plot twists than a Russian novel around here right now. It's quite thrilling; I don't know what I'm going to do when it all gets back to normal and I have to get my adrenaline from somewhere else. :evilgrin:

[tjdee]

4. Go to both, bring your nice clothes with you.

That's what I'd do.

I would only have one drink at the meeting, and then skedaddle over.

It's only one day...you can hide curse and smoke the next day, eh?

[crispini]

8. Yeah, but I will be completely worn out after the party meeting.

It's all day long. That's really what's stopping me. I know I will be out of gas after that, and really only suitable for crawling into holes. After an entire day of learning new things and interacting with people in a very tense environment, I know perfectly well I'm going to be completely wiped out and it would require a BIG effort on my part to go.....

[cally]

5. Write a nice letter

saying how much you value the relationship and would want to attend the wedding. Unfortunately, you have a prior commitment. Then send a nice present and invite both spouses to lunch or drinks and become absorbed in their wedding pictures.

I always felt like I had to attend close family and close friends' weddings. For everyone else, I think if you do the above then it's fine.

[Lars39]

6. Sounds like you have a previous engagement.

Make your regrets in person and by RSVP if expected, and buy a nice gift.
Since this is just a co-worker and not a personal friend,
you don't have to say what the previous engagement is. :)

[Kikosexy2]

7. Buy...

the newlyweds a nice gift and simply explain that you won't be able to attend the wedding because of plans already made weeks, months in advance. They'll understand and the gift shows you are sincere...or you can be like Marcia Brady and say "Something suddenly came up.."

[skygazer]

9. Call me a cynic but

The reason it means a lot to most people to have you attend their wedding is because they look forward to the nice gifts people bring them. Think about it - if the tradition of giving wedding gifts was phased out (which actually makes a lot of sense in many cases since the people getting married quite often have been living together for a good while or were married previously and have no real need for kitchen sets and bath towels - which the purpose of wedding gifts originally was; to help furnish the new couple's place) - anyway, if all that were given up, how many people do you suppose would spend thousands of dollars, invite hundreds of people (many of whom they barely know) and have a big wedding? I bet a lot fewer.

Sorry, I know I sound bitchy but weddings have really gotten out of hand. People think nothing of pressing gift registry info on you or telling you happily that there will be a "money tree" to help pay for their expensive honeymoon - I thought a gift was supposed to be something a person gives because they want to, not something actively solicited.

[crispini]

10. Ok, you're a cynic. :)

Nah, I personally would LOVE to have a big wedding (if I ever were to get married) because I'd like to invite all of my friends and have a big party. Open bar, woo hoo! It would NOT, however, be a FORMAL event. In fact, jeans would be cool. If you're gonna throw a big-ass party, people should enjoy themselves, and it's hard to enjoy yourself in heels and hose. But then, I have a deep-seated hatred of uncomfortable clothing. That's my thoughts on it.