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I could have had sex last night but did not because the guy

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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 03:18 PM
Original message
I could have had sex last night but did not because the guy
was drunk. Was this a good thing I did or a bad thing?
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wryter2000 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 03:18 PM
Response to Original message
1. A good thing
Grody. Plus, are you sure he was up for the job if he was drunk? (slap me)
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 03:24 PM
Response to Reply #1
5. [slaps you as per your request] He was up for it.
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arcos Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 03:19 PM
Response to Original message
2. depends...
if you feel good about it, it was a good thing. If you don't, then it was a bad thing.

Was he so drunk that his performance in bed could be diminished?

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Booberdawg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 03:19 PM
Response to Original message
3. A good thing
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Fixated Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 03:23 PM
Response to Original message
4. .....
Do you care about shit like that? With guys, many avoid drunk girls because it's unfair. But most guys will screw anyway, so whether or not they're sober is irrelevant.
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 03:25 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. I do care about that stuff.
Kind of golden rule type thing.
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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 08:41 PM
Response to Reply #4
25. Yeah..all guys are whores!
I'm not being a jerk I agree!
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populistmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 03:30 PM
Response to Original message
7. Good thing
Sex is always better with a man (and a woman too I suppose) of sound mind. Too many chemicals get in the way.

Sarah
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 03:36 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. Well maybe when having sex with a guy
I have been told that I am better in bed when drunk.
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populistmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 04:37 PM
Original message
I can understand what you mean
I think when I was younger (I'm 31 now), I was able to loosen up and be less inhibited if I had something to drink. Now, I find I don't need that anymore and alcohol tends to numb things a bit which makes it less fun. One or two drinks or none at all is about it for me.

Sarah
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bamademo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 03:32 PM
Response to Original message
8. We weren't drunk...
...but a little toasty and the sex was fine...:evilgrin:
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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 03:34 PM
Response to Original message
9. Good for you
We often tend to criminalize guys who took advantage of women when they are drunk. If you believe this to be valid, then it was right for you not to have sex. I personally have had sex with two drunk guys and felt awful. The strange thing is that the one that had a girlfriend apologized to me about the situation later on when I was convinced that he would take me to campus judicial board for my crime against him (He, after consuming a large amount of alcohol, had knocked at my door in the middle of the night and said that he wanted to sleep with me.). The other one became my husband. That doesn't mean that I still don't feel horrible about these situations.
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NightTrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 03:35 PM
Response to Original message
10. If maintaining your self-respect is important to you...


...then you did the right thing. Good for you! :thumbsup:
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 03:38 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. Self respect? What is that?
;)
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Elidor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 03:47 PM
Response to Original message
13. No man will ever fault you for taking advantage of him
We WANT to be taken advantage of! :bounce:
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 03:53 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. What if the woman was really ugly?
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RC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 03:59 PM
Response to Reply #14
16. Turn off the light, then
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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 03:59 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. I don't know
My husband said that he might have viewed me a lot differently and might have j boarded me if I would have not wanted to see him and treated him poorly after the incident instead of dating him. Guys can feel used and taken advantage of too. No, the reason that I'm married to him is not because he threatned to have me expelled. That came up after we were pretty much committed to being with each other for the rest of our lives.
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 04:03 PM
Response to Reply #15
18. He was going to have you expelled?
I am not even for a woman who was drunk and got herself in that situation doing that to the guy unless he was known to be such a sleaze.
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ayeshahaqqiqa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 04:02 PM
Response to Original message
17. A good thing.
How fulfilling could making love be with a partner who was drunk? How careful would he be about taking precautions? Personally, I think you did the right thing.
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 04:04 PM
Response to Reply #17
19. The pinata had condoms in it so we would have been okay.
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Wolvie Donating Member (5 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 04:37 PM
Response to Reply #19
21. let's just remember
if a guy gets a gal drunk an takes her to bed and she wakes up pissed you can be assured his ass is hers (that whole date rape thing) so shouldn't it apply to women (whether ugly or not) who take a drunk guy to bed just to get laid ? come on now we want equal rights dont' we ?
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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 08:37 PM
Response to Reply #21
24. I think that was the point that my husband was making
When he said that if I had treated him poorly and ignored him that he might have took me to the campus judicial board. The reason that I got paranoid about the first incident and feel bad about sleeping with drunken men is that one of my cross country team members spoke about alcohol and date rape. She said that she was doing this for her friend who had left college because a male student took advantage of her while she was drunk. He was initially expelled but he appealed to the college president who lowered his punishment to suspension for one term.
Personally, I don't know anything about having sex because I was drunk. At the point I get flirty, I also get more defensive about my body. By the time I lose my moral judgement, I'll beat up anyone who touches me. If someone is passed out, that is rape, of course. As far as impaired judgement after several drinks, I don't know. I don't think it is right, but I think rape might be too strong of a word.
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Dogmudgeon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 04:37 PM
Response to Original message
20. Good sex, bad sex, boozy sex ...
... why sweat it?

Make the best decision you can, based on what you want out of sex, and in a boyfriend/lover/husband/whatevuh. It's not life or death, and it shouldn't be so morally heavy a activity.

Use barrier contraception, use intelligent caution, and fuck the way you want. Make sure it's all consensual and be nice, too, and if you can do all that, you'll be ahead of about 95% of the boffins out there.

--bkl
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 05:11 PM
Response to Original message
22. You made the right decision
at the time. Spending some time together when you are both sober. If you still have the hots for each other, then go with it. LOL!

Guys can get regrets too.
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jiacinto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 05:18 PM
Response to Original message
23. Yes you did
nt
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