Let's play The Wishing Game!

[Briarius]

I know we've done it before, but I'm in the mood for another go. Here's how it works. Someone makes a wish, and you reply with how the wish goes wrong when granted. Example:
I wish for a million dollars!
>Granted, but it's stolen from a Columbian drug lord!
then you make a wish.

I'll start, I wish I was popular!

[Reverend_Smitty]

1. Yeah but then the Paparazzi wouldn't stop hassling you!

I wish I had infinite wisdom

[flvegan]

2. You are. But you're Jeff Gannon.

I wish I was fabulously wealthy.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

3. Granted. You're Michael Jackson.

I wish I had a Mac G5.

[Briarius]

4. Granted, but it can only run windows

:evilgrin:
I wish I had a new car

[Willy Lee]

5. Granted. It gets 6 mpg.

I wish the bank would OK our bakery loan.

[Worst Username Ever]

6. Granted, but it has to be located in the heart of the no-carb craze.

I wish I had a better job.

[sniffa]

7. granted

now you're off to antartica.

i wish the weather was nicer here (no more snow!).

[Richardo]

8. Granted, but it's due to the enormous amount of greenhouse gases...

I wish I could retire comfortably right now.

[sniffa]

13. granted (since you got skipped)

you retire rich, but in a tragic accident you no Longer have functionaL controL over your body. you must spend your retirement money on heaLth care.

[dean_dem]

9. Granted. An ensuing drougt dries up your area's water supply.

I wish I was rich rock star (I know, I'm leaving myself wide open here.)

[Richardo]

10. Granted. You're Fred Durst

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x2704382 :D

I wish I could break 90 in golf.

[dean_dem]

12. Granted. You beat your boss in a game and he fires you.

That's for making me Fred Durst.

[Jamastiene]

11. I wish I could (save a life if you respond to this one)

finally get the woman of my dreams to like me back and let me be her long term girlfriend.

Hey, all, I really need this one, so please make her out to be a total bitch to help me get over her once and for all.

Hint: If your old lady is really pissing you off lately, explain her as if she was the woman I like right now, and maybe I'll be able to get over her once and for all...

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

14. Wish granted

But now she's an hetero and demands you undergo a sex change surgery.

I wish I knew French, German, Italian, Dutch, Japanese, Chinese, and Russian.

[VelmaD]

15. Granted...but you have to be the translator...

for the Pretzeldent.

I wish I could lose the last 15 pounds I need to lose.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

16. Wish granted. Enjoy your flat chest.

I wish every computer hardware manufacturer published full specs so Linux drivers could be quickly developed.

[sniffa]

17. granted

but now every site is bLocked under tougher penaLties by patriot act 5.

i wish i had an endLess bag of ganja.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

18. Granted. It is SO endless you can't get rid of it when the cops come.

I wish a Brazilian became Formula One champion again.

[Jamastiene]

20. Make her meaner

Please. I have a feeling that is how she would be toward me any how. Thanks. Can you make her more of a bitch possibly?

I wish I knew all of those languages too. I can only speak English when I am typing. I speak gibberish when I try to talk. I'm from the south so it's the accent. Bad thing is, they don't understand me either. :shrug:

[Magrittes Pipe]

19. I wish any harm ever done to the people I love could be undone.

[Arkana]

21. Wish granted. Now you're the family doormat.

I wish I could get straight As in all my classes without working for them.

[Briarius]

22. granted, but you get expelled for submitting other people's work

I wish I had a bag of Sweedish Fish

[Redstone]

23. Granted, but you get a large, bright-red piece stuck between

your front teeth just before making an important presentation. And nobody tells you until after.

I wish I could think of a wish.

Redstone

[Richardo]

24. Granted, but the only wish you can think of is for Richardo to get $500000

I wish it was time to go home.

[Glenda]

25. Granted. But you get amnesia on the way home and forget where home is.

I wish I could get more clients for my business.

[Redstone]

26. Granted. But they're all demanding SOBs and pay their bills late.

I wish I could stop myself from playing the wishing game.

Redstone