Give it to me straight.

[Bouncy Ball]

When I was in high school, this guy who had his locker near me asked me out every Wednesday. Yeah, you read that right, EVERY single Wednesday, except over school breaks.

I would stammer, come up with an excuse, or, when I had a boyfriend, tell him I was seeing someone. It got to be a running joke between us. He started saying, on Wednesdays, "I would ask you out, but I'm sure you're going out of town or coming down with something or going to a funeral, right?"

And I'd smile and we'd talk. I didn't find him attractive, but he was nice and VERY PERSISTENT.

Finally, it was his senior year and my junior year. On a Wednesday in April, I realized he hadn't asked me in a while. I was pretty happy about that, I was sincerely starting to get worried about him. I was hoping maybe he had a girlfriend now. He showed up at his locker and said "Hey, just for old time's sake, you wanna go out this weekend?"

I shocked both of us by saying yes. Was it bad that I thought to myself "Dear God, the guy has asked me out for THREE years, just go out with him?" Because that was my thought. I just didn't want him to think I was interested romantically and he always made it clear it wouldn't be a "friend" kind of date. But what the hell.

So he picked me up in his 66 Mustang. I was a bit shallow back then and gave him major points for having a car like that. Major points for being incredibly nice and funny. We went to a get together one of his band friends was having. It was fun, nothing crazy or anything, just a bunch of kids and some loud music.

I sat on the couch in the living room and a guy in my grade came over and started talking to me. I'd had a crush on him for about a year. My throat seized up. I couldn't speak. He seemed to think my sweaty nervousness was cute and he took my hand. Scott (my date) didn't see the hand-holding and came over and sat on the OTHER side of me. HE took my hand.

Now I'm sitting on a couch, nervous and freaking out, one guy on either side holding each of my hands. I wondered how long it would take them to figure it out. Not very long. Scott looked over at Chris, Chris looked at Scott, I looked straight ahead like I had NO idea what was going on. Scott yelled over the New Order music "DUDE. I THINK WE HAVE A PROBLEM HERE." Chris yelled back "YES WE DO." They both dropped my hands, stood up and walked away to talk, I presume.

Scott came back, smiling. "He didn't know I brought you here. It's cool."

"Oh, good." Nervous laughter from me. I explained to him that I just got really nervous and didn't know what to do. He didn't seem bothered.

He took me home, we hugged. At school Monday, Chris asked me for my phone number and we started to date. Immediately.

(Karmic ending: he dumped me after three months with the words "I just want to hang out with the dudes." I cried for two days.)

Give it to me straight up, guys. Did I do something wrong in all that? I can take it. It was almost 20 years ago.

[intrepid_wanderer]

1. IT WAS 20 YEARS AGO!!! n/t

[Bouncy Ball]

2. Yeah, well, I just got to thinking about it.

:shrug:

[ET Awful]

3. LOL . . . now that's what I call a longstanding guilt complex :)

No, you did nothing wrong. If I was the guy that hounded you for three years, I might have been a bit miffed, but I would've understood. Then again, I wouldn't have hounded you for 3 years . . . 1 1/2 maybe, but never 3 :).

[Bouncy Ball]

6. I know, damn, three years.

I had no idea any guy could be so persistent. I wonder if he thought "ANY week now! She's gonna go crazy for me!"

[ET Awful]

8. Nah, he was just remembering those milk commercials . ..

I know I'm a goofy twerp now, but I'm drinking milk, and someday . . . .

[intrepid_wanderer]

7. dunno...

I was jut thinkin it's so long ago...

BUT, I think the only thing you may have done wrong really is not standing up for your wants and desires while respecting your (then) current situation...



I imagine the ideal resolution would have been to tell Scott of your interest, while not dating the every Wednesday guy when he asked for your number.


Hopefully you have evaded that habit on in years... the one of doing something just because it follows the path you started on... like giving Wednesday guy your number.


(no shrink here.. just thinking via keyboard)

ME

[Bouncy Ball]

11. Wednesday guy wasn't the one who asked for my phone number

I think you have the two guys confused.

And I've been happily married for 13 years.

[intrepid_wanderer]

48. see what happens when I try and 'think' n/t

[Spinzonner]

4. Are dating flashbacks common with women ?

[Bouncy Ball]

5. I think just me.

I'm weird like that.

There was also the guy who stalked me and set himself on fire in my parent's front yard, but I won't go there.

[Spinzonner]

9. Ah, an old flame

(I should be so ashamed)

[intrepid_wanderer]

10. BUTT...

you just DID!!!


:bounce:

[ET Awful]

12. Okay, now that's just . . . .

where the hell do you find these guys?

[Bouncy Ball]

14. I found some doozies.

My prom date showed up so stoned he couldn't think of my name. Seeing my drunk dad and my stoned prom date slurring my name and giggling was not a sight I cherish.

Same prom date ended up with his best friend's date that night. And insisted she sit in the front seat when he drove me home.

Another guy bragged about how much money he had (which I've honestly never cared about) then took me to Taco Bell where I bought my own dinner.

Another one broke into my parent's house after I broke up with him and stole my underwear and took off on his bike. I got home in time to see him taking off on his 10 speed with panties flying everywhere. He crashed into a tree, because he heard a car coming and figured it was me. It was. He bled all over the place and demanded that I give him all the notes he ever wrote to me.

Then there was the one who decided to impress me by drag racing his El Camino against some other guy while I WAS IN THE CAR and they backed up against the curb of on street facing another (like a T intersection). He forgot his car was in reverse and he plowed right over their mailbox and into their hedges. I was so freaked out I got out of the car and ran home. Broke up by phone that night.

Another had parents who insisted I attend church functions with him and he would always try to get me to sneak out back to go get on the church bus and make out. Ok, I agreed to that. A few times. But I can't tell you how weird it is to make out while hearing strains of "Jesus Christ is Risen Today."

[ET Awful]

16. BUAHAHAHAHA

You and my little sister would probably get along pretty well.

You could trade stories endlessly. . . only she STILL finds these types of guys. Then again, she's still young, I'll give her a few more years to settle down.

[Bouncy Ball]

17. When I found my husband and discovered I didn't

inspire a streak of crazy in him a mile wide, I knew he was a keeper.

She'll find a good one. I just had to hunt through some......loons first. And geez, that was a partial list. I didn't even GET to the college ones.

[barb162]

29. have you seen him since like at a reunion?

[Bouncy Ball]

38. No, haven't seen him since. Don't even remember his last name.

[Misunderestimator]

25. I'm sorry... but.... LMFAO

We could share such stories...

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

32. Haha ..El Camino...if that ain't the ultimate Billy Bob car

[Bouncy Ball]

36. White with a baby blue interior.

It was SMOKIN'.

[Misunderestimator]

18. Nah... not just you.. I have flashbacks like that all the time...

and I don't want to even start going there...

[Bouncy Ball]

19. I have girl dating stories, too.

:shrug:

Apparently I had a girlfriend for several months and didn't even know it! Seriously!!!

[Misunderestimator]

23. Yay!

That's funny as hell, and I don't even know the details! :) (Though I have had boyfriends I never knew about...)

[Bouncy Ball]

27. If you want to know I can tell you.

I met her over the summer and we discovered we were both students at the same university (BIG school). We were instant friends. Stuck like glue. She cracked me up, we hung out together constantly.

Fall semester started and she moved into an apartment just a few doors down from mine (HINT #1!!!!). Still did tons of stuff together....went out on the weekends to clubs. Just to make this easier to explain, she was bi, but I didn't know it.

I started dating one guy exclusively and she started acting weirder and weirder. She wanted ALL of my time and got pissed off when I went out with him. My roommates were getting concerned, because when I was out on a date, she'd call every 20 minutes wanting to know if I was home yet or leaving long weepy (usually drunk) messages on the answering machine.

It was starting to concern me too, but I was a creature of denial back then. So I'd save aside plenty of time to be with her, but it was never enough. I felt totally smothered and she became more and more emotionally dependent on me. I'm just glad we didn't have cell phones back then. She'd go all the way across campus to meet me outside my class, have lunch with me, etc. She'd comment on how I looked, bat her eyes at me. I HAD to have known by then, but I just didn't know what to do.

Of course it all came to a head and one particularly drunken Saturday night, she confessed all. She had to confess: when I came over to her place, she was wearing some lingerie and had some music on.

She was drunker than Cooter Brown and cried (imagine mascara everywhere) and alternated between last-ditch efforts at luring me into the bedroom and throwing things at me and cussing me.

The WORST part was what I said. I still remember it clearly. "Even if I WAS into girls, I wouldn't be into YOU."

Yikes. Ouch. That got me a punch in the face from her (and a nice split lip--she could throw a serious right hook). I was pissed off and stormed out. We never spoke again.

(That one wasn't funny and didn't have a happy ending. Sorry.)

[Misunderestimator]

31. WoW!! Damn... a punch in the face?!?

What a psycho... you were no where at fault in that... she was obvious off her rocker.

I had a similar (though not nearly as dramatic) experience in college with a guy who fell in love with me, unbeknownst to me... of course it was all my fault, though he knew I was gay. Didn't punch me though... shit... that's awful.

[Bouncy Ball]

34. Yep. And before things went all haywire

we were actually talking about being roommates!!!

When I saw that she drew blood on my lip, I saw red. I left so I wouldn't hit back. It was really very sad, all in all.

(She would have kicked my ass even though she was drunk and I was mostly sober. She had six inches on me and was SERIOUSLY fit.)

[Misunderestimator]

35. Now that sounds hot.

:evilgrin:

[Bouncy Ball]

37. What? I said something that sounds hot?

Us fighting? LMAO. Well, FINALLY I can find something good in that story! Thank you!

(One of my roommates at the time was a serious conservative and when I told her the whole sordid story, she freaked out and said she'd "just DIE" if that ever happened to her. I looked at her and said "Don't worry. It won't." SNARF!!!)

[Misunderestimator]

39. No...

just the her being 6 inches taller thing... ;) Definitely NOT the fighting.

LOL on your comebacks!!

[Bouncy Ball]

41. Oh heh.

I am 5'8" and she was about 6'2". Pre-med and brilliant. Just not my type. ;-)

[Misunderestimator]

43. LOL

Definitely not your type... way... 6'2" ... wow... I've dated a few women taller than me (5'9") and I do NOT like it. Though I do like being the taller one... anyhoooooooooooo

[Bouncy Ball]

44. NSMA wants you to buy her an El Camino

ok?

:evilgrin:

[Misunderestimator]

47. She doesn't need another car, believe me...

but psst... let you in on a little secret... I'm moving to California verrrrry soon :)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

49. I like women that are taller than me

as long as I can reach their neck :D

[Misunderestimator]

50. Hahah....

you know that you are the perfect fit... :)

[Bouncy Ball]

40. About the punching---she was REALLY drunk.

I'm amazed she connected. I mean SUPER drunk.

(Glad that guy didn't punch you! THAT would have sucked if you would have had to kick his ass!)

[Misunderestimator]

42. It really would have sucked... because...

he was 6'6"... I'm tall but nowhere near THAT tall. Interestingly, the guy ended up with a rather famous author 20 years his senior...

[barb162]

30. no it isn't just you. I had more than one guy "trailing" me or whatever

you call it. This one guy I met once or twice during high school at a dance, started calling and I wouldn't date him. Finally, I got married out of college and my mom told me he came to the house looking for me a few times ...she told him I had gotten married. In the papers a few months later, front page, he killed his wife, kid and himself.

I also had a real live stalker from high school

[realisticphish]

13. i dont think you did anything wrong, really

you arent required to date someone in any situation. and you did give him a chance. plus, it's not like you ditched him to go with chris. you were respectful and didnt crush his feelings

:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[Bouncy Ball]

15. Aw, thanks.

[DrWeird]

20. You broke the guy's heart.

But that's alright, it builds character.

[Bouncy Ball]

21. I'm hoping he's happy today.

Here's to you Scott, whereever you are!

:toast:

You had a really cool car!

[DrWeird]

22. Similar thing happened to me.

And I'm doing just great.

[Bouncy Ball]

24. Good deal. He was a really happy guy and really had his shit

together, so I have no doubt he's good. He went to Stanford!

[tigereye]

26. aw those were cute stories, BB - I love memory lane

reminds me of the high school academic school trip where I
a. made out with a guy from our school on the bus on our way to Tennessee
b. necked with another guy from another school, in the lobby of the hotel, while my BF was upstairs,
c. watched everyone smoke hash in yet another hotel room, and then
d. flirted with another guy from another school on the way home.
And this was a trip composed entirely of " nerds!"

That was a very interesting Senior year and didn't count the guy I was also dating who had already graduated.

I think it's really fun to think about that stuff. We married ladies need to occasionally amuse ourselves with tales of yore.

[Bouncy Ball]

28. A few years ago, I was working with the funniest woman.

We started telling each other our college stories (because they are way raunchier) and I told her, "You know, I think we have these experiences so that when we're in the nursing home, we can look back on them....and just......grin the biggest shit-eating grin....."

She agreed.

Thanks! Wow, you sounded like fun! (You sounded like me! LOL!)

[tigereye]

45. yeah I identify with a lot of your posts -

You have a fun, smart spirit. :hi:

I love to tell and share wild stories with girlfriends. I had fun shocking the "fresh out of college" kids that used to work for me, with tales of my fairly mild college drug use and/or debauchery.

:evilgrin:

[DU GrovelBot]

33. ## PLEASE DONATE TO DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND! ##

==================
GROVELBOT.EXE v3.0
==================



This week is our first quarter 2005 fund drive. Democratic
Underground is a completely independent website. We depend almost entirely
on donations from our members to cover our costs. Thank you so much for
your support.

[Zenlitened]

46. See what you've done? Now Grovelbot is after you, too.

:D