just found this joke post about the republican convention

[LDS Jock]

Republican National Convention Schedule:

6:30 PM - Pledge of Allegiance

6:35 PM - Ceremonial burning of the Bill of Rights (excluding the 2nd amendment)

6:45 PM - Salute to the coalition of the willing

6:46 PM - Seminar #1: Katherine Harris on "Are Elections Really Necessary?"

7:30 PM - Announcement: Lincoln Memorial renamed for Ronald Reagan

7:35 PM - Trent Lott - "Re-segregation in the 21st century"

7:40 PM - EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's what's for dinner

8:00 PM - Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 PM - Call EMT's to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 PM - John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your Children

8:30 PM - Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)

8:50 PM - Seminar #2 Corporations: The Government of the Future

9:00 PM - Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' That Man"

9:05 PM - Phyllis Schlafly speaks on "Why Women Shouldn't Be Leaders"

9:10 PM - EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires

9:30 PM - Break for secret meetings

10:00 PM - Prayer led by Cal Thomas

10:15 PM - Car Rove Lecture: "Doublespeak Made Simple"

10:30 PM - Rumsfield Lecture/Demonstration : "How to squint and talk Macho even when you feel squishy inside"

10:35 PM - Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare

10:40 PM - John Ashcroft demonstration of New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt

10:45 PM - GOP tribute to tokenism, featuring Colin Powel and Condi Rice

10:46 PM - Ann Coulter's tribute to "Joe McCarthy, Great American Patriot"

10:50 PM - Seminar #3: Education: A drain on our nation's economy

11:10 PM - Hillary Clinto Pinata

11:20 PM - John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult

11:30 PM - EMTs called to revive Rush again

11:40 PM - Newt Gingrich speaks on "The Sanctity of Marriage"

11:41 PM - Announcement: Ronald Reagan added to Mt. Rushmore

11:50 PM - Closing prayer led by Jesus himself

12:00 AM - Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord


spelling left as was.. sorry, a bit lazy