Misplaced Deity sought by Christians

[LeftCoast]

I hope nobody is offended by this. I received this from a friend via email. I find it pretty amusing.

LeftCoast


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Misplaced Deity sought by Christians



So, I'm standing at a bus stop and they pull up. A car load of well

meaning, bible thumping nut cases that are just frantic! The middle

aged professionally dressed woman rushes forward ... She takes my arm

and with a trembling voice she asks ... "Have you found Jesus?" Her

eyes plead with an urgency that is out of proportion to a bus stop.



Now normally I just politely decline the sermon, and free religious

paperwork that such folk pawn off on unsuspecting by-standers. But,

unfortunately for her, she is the fourth car to accost me in the last

9 minutes. So by now I'm beginning to wonder what the heck is wrong

with these people. I mean if its not Christians it is the Jehovah's

Witnesses. Can a simple Druid get no peace?



So calmly as I can muster, without being sarcastic I reply, "You

people lost him, again??"



The woman looks confused. This is not the response she was hoping for

and she needs to regroup. She takes a deep breath intending to launch

into her sales pitch for her God, and church, paying no heed to the

concept that I might not be into being converted. I decide to not let

her get going so I launch into a speech of my own ...



"What is wrong with you Christians? Every time I turn around you've

lost Him!" I hit her with a glare of accusation. "I mean really ..."

I take a measured breath. "How do you expect to have anyone follow a

deity that you can't even find!"



The poor woman looks stunned. This isn't going so good. Panicked she

looks desperately to the car ... Surely one of the men can help ...

Undaunted I press on ... "Maybe the problem is with you people ... I

mean Muslims never seem to loose their deity. Come to think of it

neither do Jews, or Pagans of any kind."



I look at the man getting out of the car. He's all smiles. "I realize

you people used to burn people like me at the stake... What was that

about... deity even? I may be a Pagan-heathen, but I have never ever

woke up panicked that I couldn't find my Goddess or God. They are

always right where they should be ... In the fire of my candle, in

the air that I breath, in the earth that I stand on, in the water of

my spring. I never feel abandoned by my deity(ies)."



"Of course, you Christians aren't much fun ..." I continue. By now

they are all out of the car. Befuddled, aghast, and at a loss for

words. "Of course," I offer trying to give them some defense for

losing Jesus. "He could have left due to religious differences. If I

remember correctly he was Jewish. So if you are really so eager to

find him ..." I smile gently to soften the blow. "Check the nearest

synagogue. He's probably in there. Also you folks should try and

remember that this is America ... Where freedom of religion means ALL

religions."



Slowly they climb back into their car and drive away. I stand at the

bus stop ... No pamphlets, no bible, no dogma. I haven't found Jesus,

but I haven't lost him either:)



Oh and if you've found Jesus, please get his face on the evening

news A.S.A.P so the Christians can stop looking for him.

[roguevalley]

1. As a Christian with a healthy respect for people to believe what

they want, I am chuckling over this. Frankly, I
am *sick* of evangelists. The assumption that you
have no personal philosophy is insulting.

[RC]

3. no personal philosophy is insulting???

Please explain. Do you mean no religion?

On edit: Never mind. I am a little slow this evening.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

2. The Diety read this

and She is very pleased!

May you find many oak trees with mistletoe in your life!


(a Universal Sufi, who believes ALL paths lead to the ONE)

[DagmarK]

4. This is soooooo great! I love this little diddley!

Thanks for sharing.

From another pagan.......

Goodness, if these evangelists don't quiet down .....maybe we *should* send a bunch of diety statues of Jesus to them: "Is this what you were looking for?"

[OneBlueSky]

5. he's not lost . . . he's hiding . . .

mainly from those who evangelize in his name . . .

[Duncan Grant]

6. (Enter Jesus, stage right, singing...)

"I once was lost but now I'm found..."

Sorry, couldn't resist. Diggin' your avatar too. :hi:

[LeftCoast]

7. Thanks! Your's isn't too bad either!

Go Dean!

:hi:

[TXlib]

8. Thanks. This was pretty funny.

Now I know what to say next time I am accosted.

I remember a bumper sticker that read, "I have no problem with Jesus. It's His followers who scare me."

[Blue_Chill]

9. These people come to my door sometimes

I tell them I'm Catholic, wait for the hateful look to appear on thier faces, and shut the door.

I asked one of them for beer money when I was in college, and let me tell you that I got a very interesting reaction.

[MountainLaurel]

10. ROFLMAO

This is great Leftcoast, definitely going to share with my coven sisters, one of whom is spending the weekend with fundie in-laws.

:hi:

[Loonman]

11. Heh

Do you know Jesus?

My answer always is: "not personally".