What should I do about my painful puns?

[SOteric]

ForrestGump thinks I'm destroying his self-esteem and giving him headaches.

What do you think:

[trof]

1. Try a sitz bath.

Oh.......
you said "puns"
nevermind
Hey, I was first to vote!

[SOteric]

2. And I thank you from the "bottom"

of my ascii files.

:hi:

[MUAD_DIB]

6. Don't you mean a

shticks bath?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

3. Get an aPUNdectomy!

:D

[BurtWorm]

4. I think puns are capital

I'm pro capital pun-ishment.

[SOteric]

5. A Pun-ku

Punsters of the world,
Should these not sate your hunger
Just eat your art out!

[trof]

7. a cockney pun

wow

[MaryBear]

8. Baloney.

I enjoy the threads with you and Forrest, and you both obviously do, too. :hi:

[SOteric]

10. Yes. We do

our wurst.

[ForrestGump]

22. That was a real banger

of a pun.

[SOteric]

25. You dudes.

Always thinking about your sausages.

[ForrestGump]

26. Bang bang, shoot shoot.......

Happiness is a warm pun.

[SOteric]

29. And it's so hard

to find a good pun warmer for the dinner table.

[ForrestGump]

32. Which is a real bummer - heheh, I said 'bum' -- when you're serving

hot cross puns.

[SOteric]

33. Yes, you did Forrest,

you've got takin' belly rolls in the aisles with your rye sense of humour.

[ForrestGump]

35. I was bread for this kind of

painful pantomime roll, and don't you baguette it.

Hark, I hear a Simon and Pumpernickel record playing in the distance....

[SOteric]

37. Only a

real crumb would actively attempt to chaff a lady in this manner. I could have focaccia're an angel there for a minute, and mistaken you for a P.I.T.A. But since I'm so given to corn, bread for naansense and generally a good sport, I'll nominate your effort to the Challah fame instead.

[ForrestGump]

38. Oh, Poppyseed! You barley know me, certainly not enough to.....

no, I concede. I just can't do it. I mean, I could at yeast give it a try, perhaps with that old French toast, "Vive le pain," but these puns are enough to make the earth's crust split right where the Hawaiian plate subducts under the Sandwich Islands. I just couldn't be a pizza that kind of horror. No matter how big a studmuffin I may be.

I shall pun no more forever. At least for the next few minutes, while I quit loafing and recover from your breadful barrage.

[SOteric]

39. I hardly know how

to brioche the subject with you. You go off on a tor, tilla cry again. I'm not going to get all sour dough, or heap scone upon you. In fact it might be best if I were leaven you alone. When it comes to puns, you're just mucho-baddah than me.

[ForrestGump]

42. I bow before your superior punpersonship and your prodigious

knowledge of grain products. Really, I'm not brownie-nosing. Manna tell you, she's good. I filo so inspired by her efforts. And matzo I have to say about that.

But, mainly, I gotta go for now. I hate to put a damper on the proceedings. So may visions of sugarcookies dance in your head....

P.S.: I spotted Dick at the mall today....he said he knows it's only sausage roll, but he likes it, likes it, yes he does....

[ForrestGump]

40. Uh-oh. She musta burned out.

I didn't do it on purpose! I was young - half baked! I kneaded the dough!

[SOteric]

41. No.. just caught up in

reading a REALLY long post.

[ForrestGump]

21. GrandmaBear.....PLEASE....don't encourage her!

Or do.....either way's okay. :-)

[Coffee Coyote]

9. Give me your extras!

:bounce:

[SOteric]

12. Sold!

To the sucker waving the Arizona flag around.

[ScreamingMeemie]

11. I have some left over Vicodin that I won't be needing...

that I could pass around.

[SOteric]

13. I think

I still have the left overs of Vicodin from my last great annoyance.

Should we disperse them to the crowds and keep punning?

[ScreamingMeemie]

14. Punderful!!! I absolutely concur...

carry on..

[GOPisEvil]

15. You must continue torturing Forrest Gump...

...it is a moral imperative. :-)

edited - spelling

[SOteric]

17. I hear and obey

(This is all part of your cunning plan to distract him while you abscond with Rachel Ray's heart, soul, and kitchen equipment...isn't it?)

[GOPisEvil]

18. Shhhhh!

He'll hear!

Although...a friend tells me Rachael acknowledged a fella in her new book. Noooooooooooooooooo!

[SOteric]

19. I'm sure

whoever she might be thinking about has no chance against you. With or without the hat.

[ForrestGump]

23. Okay - I'm taking your name down, dude.

You're on my list, buddy!

[buddhamama]

16. pun on,SOteric

the yin and yang of DU
pleasure and pain

it is within his rights not to read them.

[ForrestGump]

20. I voted with my heart

instead of my brain. Darn.

big mistake.

[SOteric]

24. Oh Forrest,

You sweetie, you.

[ForrestGump]

27. Oh, come on....now you're just being shameless....

But, you're right.....I am a sweatie. Sweetie, I mean. Well, both, actually.

[SOteric]

28. Your complaint

would be what exactly?

[ForrestGump]

30. Um, nothing....I'm as happy as an

angel. A radiant angel, glowing with the fullness of spirit and all that kind of good stuff....

O8)

An angel, I say again. That's angel. A-n-g-e-l.....

[SOteric]

31. I believe the word 'shameless' was bandied about.

Ya big lug.

[ForrestGump]

34. Even bigger 'shucks'

(Note to self, continued: Dude! It really, totally works!)

[lfairban]

36. My wife says she loves my terrible puns.

n/t