What do you owe your mother?

[Rainbowreflect]

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB
WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it
outside. I just
finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the
carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to
knock you into the
middle of next >week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break
your neck, you're not
going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in
case you're in an
accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something
to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science
of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about
CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of
your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach
is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado
went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a
million times. Don't
exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF
LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can
take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR
MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate
children in this world who
don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about
ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get
home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes,
they are going to freeze
that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I
know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When you fall out of that tree and break
both your legs, don't
come running to me!"

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN
ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll
never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think
you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll
understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me
about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they
turn out just like you!"

[seriousstan]

1. My life

[blueknight]

2. all the above

and more. she molded me to be the man i am today

[fit4life]

3. A lot.

I spent my childhood and early adulthood hearing about what she went through to deliver me. I was 9 lbs, 8 ounces and boy did I get bitched at (like I could help it!). Years later I found out she had an epidural and never felt a thing! All that guilt for nothing! lol

[mopinko]

4. i had a friend

who weighed 13 lb, and was a full month overdue. he was pretty much of a shallow attention whore. i always figured his mom never forgave him.