The Mime-in-the-Dark of all CAPTIONS!!!!

[skip fox]

W. is praying: "Dear God, . . . Hey. How you doin'? . . . I hope okay. . . . How's your summer
going so far? . . . Mine's been real busy, and that's part of why I'm praying right now, but you
already know that, don't you? . . . Well, I just want to make the case that it was just all one
mistake, and all the little things like those 16 lousy words (and a whole bunch of other words
too, when they find out), and bankrupting the treasury, and getting Tony in trouble, and
wrecking America's credibility, throwing away our role as the moral leader of the twenty-first
century, and all those people dying, and stuff, . . . well, they're just parts of that one, little
mistake. It all boiled down to that one thing: I really, really, really, really wanted to invade Iraq.
So, God, if you could see it that way, that it was just like one little mistake, maybe it would
be easier for you to get me out of all of it, if you know what I mean. I, like, really learned
my lesson. Whenever I really, really want something in the future, I'll sit down and calmly
write down all the pros and cons before I go and do it. So please get me out of this one,
okay? Your pal, George. . . . And p.s., could you kinda do it real quick? . . . And I hope the
rest of the summer goes good for you, . . . and don't do anything I wouldn't do . . . and if
you do, be sure to name it . . . opps . . . never mind. Hangup."

[underpants]

1. Magic squirrel, do you have any more intelligence I can base policy on?

The magic squirrel knows all.

[Richardo]

2. Hahahaha*snort*hahahahaha!

:D :thumbsup:

[Fenris]

3. W. is "reckonin'":

"Damn, I just can't win. Karl tells me that the public is pissing themselves over that whole uranium cake thing. I don't know what the big deal is. It's not like I'm the first President to use faulty intelligence as a basis for military action. I mean, come on, if Theodore D. Roosevelt hadn't told the American people that Japanese Nazi Communists were going to attack us, we might never have gotten into Vietnam. Or what if Gabe Lincoln hadn't told the North that the South had a nuclear bomb...General Lee and Bo and Luke Duke might have blown up Washington and then the British would have won! See, I did the right thing...

Now where the hell is my office?"

[skip fox]

4. Wild god-dog, hell, makes perfect

rational sense.

(I mean, if you slept throught history and were never overly concerned about
understanding anything.)

:toast:

(And welcome to DU, fenris.)

[skip fox]

5. When morning's captions sound no more the vaulted blue,

And those of afternoon desert poor memory's que,
Then DU'ers of the evening will sharpen pens,
That they might have fresh captions once again.

:bounce:

[cosmicdot]

6. W pauses to *contemplate*: I know I haven't lied before ...

...certainly, we can use the feel sorry for the born-again Christian card on this...making me look humble and restoring honor and integrity and stuff...with photo ops...the 'murican people are a forgiving people...with the right spin, they'll fall in line ... Pat and Jerry will take it to their airwaves, as will Rush and Fox ... I know I haven't lied before ... let me go back ... I'm just thinking out loud in case anyone is listening to see if God really speaks to me ... "I got no help getting into the Nat'l Guard" ... no lie there ... "I had no knowledge or meetings about FuneralGate." ... nope ... "I do not pay attention to polls and focus Groups." ... rings true ... "I showed up for service in Alabama." ... so far so good ... maybe Karl will let me try that 'read my lips' thing ... you know, 'read my lips, no new lies' ... "I trust the people." ... now, I like that one, I think ... "We should abolish the estate tax to save the family farm". ... as true today, as it was when I first read it ... " I paid the fine and did my duty...." ... hmmmmm - maybe I better start over, taking it from the top .......

[skip fox]

7. twisted!

n/t

[underpants]

8. Man, I knew better than to listen to Clinton's penis about that speech

Well I guess I just need to face the music and go out here in the Rose Garden and tell everyone that it's the penis's fault.

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

9. Karl is just so mean to me sometimes

I mean, he's the one who said we was going to do a photo-op of me lookin' reflective, so all I said was, 'Whynt we go down besides that there reflecting pool on the mall, so's they can get my reflection?' and he has to go and say, 'Whynt you go over there beside those columns and try not to look as dumb as a post?"

[PurityOfEssence]

10. Everybody's being mean to me, yet the grass keeps growing and

the sun keeps circling the Earth like nothing's happened. Whassa matter god, should I'a killed more?

It's like what Hitler said in his last conversation: "In the end, what you regret is that you were too nice."

[skip fox]

11. Wow . . . Were'd ya get the Hitler quote??

It's a beauty! (Whether real OR invented.)