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From the Nada News:
Reporter: Justly Seenomore
I was called out to a rural area in Nebraska with little to go on. There had been sporadic reports of people being bitten by creatures that left various marks and swollen areas on their bodies. I was determined to get to the bottom of it. Little did I know that I would not only tell the tale, I would become part of the story. It was a quiet area. Two gas stations and a mini mart open 24 hours. I got some gas from the two hot links, and filled up the car. The first person I spoke to was Ms. Biggumbottom. She had been in almost mortal combat for hours yesterday with the unknown creatures. To quote "I was sittin' on the sofa eatin' a cherry pie, not the whole pie, just a bit 'cause I'm on a diet, an' the next thing I know there was a terrible itchin' on my right side. I tried to smack'em, but all I done was hurt mah leg. It were gone like it KNEW I was going to smack'em. It weren't from Earth.
Updates later: this reporter has either been bitten, smitten, or smacked by a alien creature or Ms. BiggumBottom. Is there a doctor in the house?
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