Myyyyy ..... Preccccciousssssss!!!!!!!

[Garage Queen]

Precccciousssessss issss out today, my love (gollum!) buts oursssss will not arrivesss until tomorrow.... Thissss makessss usss madssss, Preccccioussss, yesss it doesssses!

PRECCCCCIOUSSSSS!!!!!!

ahem.

Translation for the Tolkein imaired: the Extended Edition of Return of the King is out on DVD today.

That is all.

Thank you.

[ET Awful]

1. Nasssty Orcses stole my . . . . election precioussssss.

:evilgrin:

[Garage Queen]

5. We wantsss it back! It came to ME!

*

[mondo joe]

2. The Balrog of Costco

From the lowest aiske to the longest line I fought with the Shoppers of Costco... Until at last I threw down my enemy and held in my hands the extended editions of Fellowship and the Two Towers... Darkness took me and I strayed away through thought and time. Stars wheeled overhead and every day was as long as a life age of the earth... But it was not the end. I felt life in me again. I've been sent back until my task is done.

[Garage Queen]

6. But you fear to go through the lines of Costco.

The shoppers delved too greedily and too deep. YOU know what they awoke in the sales bins. Sales. And Discounts....

[mondo joe]

8. Ha! I love that.

:-)

[Garage Queen]

10. Yeah, I have a feeling that BOTH of us ....

have seen the movies a few times too often. There are entire passages of dialog that I could recite from memory. :7 Man, I. can't. WAIT!

Damn, I love these movies. (sigh) Next stop: the 9-disc Movie Soundtrack rumored to be scheduled for release in 2005.

[mondo joe]

20. It's not my fault. I blame my spouse.

I liked the movies just fine.

But my spouse can't stop watching them. So even when I'm doing other things I keep hearing the dialogue over and over and over and...

[Garage Queen]

29. Riiiiiiight. "It's my SPOUSE's fault." uh huh.

that's right up there with "the dog ate my homework" and "No, that's not MY copy of Torch Song Trilogy"!

;)

Remember: the DVD is searching for its master. It WANTS to be bought ...

[mondo joe]

30. I'm just the Samwise in my household fellowship

My partner carries the burden.

I can never know the weight of it. But every now and then I have to scream his name and try to pry the Precious from his fingers.

[gratuitous]

3. But I do not choose to do what I was sent here to do

The Ring is MINE!

[Garage Queen]

4. Cast it into the Fire, Bitcheses!

Don't make me go all Ringwraith on your sorry ass! <coughgollumcough>

[gratuitous]

9. Yeah, right

What're you gonna do, squirt Legolas' Bottomless Bottle of Creme Rinse in my eyes?

[Garage Queen]

12. No, but I may bury one of Gimli's axes in your nervous system.

"I'm sitting pretty on number 43..."

[gratuitous]

16. Hah!

Don't you know that no man can harm the one who wields the One? Now begone, before I turn you into something . . . unnatural.

Because Rings go better with hocus pocus.

[Garage Queen]

17. (Removes helm) I am no Man!

GAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(stabs gratuitous in his face ... or, rather, the Black Hole which serves as his "facial area", causing him to shrivel up like George Costanza in a cold swimming pool)

heh.

[gratuitous]

19. How rude!

Boy, go in for a little world domination, and some people just get their knickers in a twist. All right, you can have your little Middle Earth. I understand it's not long for this part of the galaxy anyway.

42.

[Not_Giving_Up]

7. My husband went at midnight to get it

I haven't watched it yet, I was in bed by 11.

[Aristus]

11. Ringwraith at Borders: DeeVeeDeeeeeeeeeeeee...

Extendeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed.....

[Garage Queen]

13. Give up the DeeeVeeeeDeeeeeeeee, She Elf!

If you want it, come and BUY it! (coughBitch!cough) :7

[laheina]

14. And thus

I shall complete my collection. :) Thank you for reminding me.

[Dear Maggie]

15. Are Freckles Precious?

www.valdezlink.com/freckles.htm

f r e c k l e s



An elderly woman and her little grandson,

whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles,

spent the day at the zoo.



Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted

by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws.

"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!"


A girl in the line said to the little fella.




Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head.

His grandmother knelt down next to him.

"I love your freckles.

When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles,

she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek.

"Freckles are beautiful!"


The boy looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother.

"Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles."




The little boy thought


for

a

moment,

peered intensely into his grandma's face,

and softly whispered,


"Wrinkles."



Author unknown

[Garage Queen]

18. 1. No, they're not.

2. I think you meant to post in the "Sappy Emails I received at Work" Forum.

Spare the Snark, Spoil the Child....

[nicolemrw]

21. the movie SUCKED!!!!!!!

i bet tolkien is spinning in his grave.

bah, humbug.

ok, i vented, i feel better now.

[Garage Queen]

25. BLASPHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEME!

Oh Lord, smite down thine enemy with this, thy Holy Hand Grenade....

[nicolemrw]

32. yeah the movie was blasphemous all right

oh, that wasn't what you ment? :evilgrin:

no, seriously, i could deal with the first one, but from there they persistant and steadily deviated from the path of the book, not matters of interpretation, but out and out plot and theme points. by the middle of the third one it was downright painful.

[complain jane]

22. and here I thought this was about that freak from

Silence of the Lambs.

"...it puts the lotion in the basket."

[City Lights]

23. Anybody know if there is an Easter egg on this one like there was

on the first two, and if so, what it is?

If you're not familiar with the first two surprises, click here for an explanation.

[Garage Queen]

24. Yes, there is.

It's a clip of a press conference Elijah Wood was giving via Satellite to some German reporters (or news show, or something). Anyway, he couldn't see the people he was talking to, and apparently Dominic Monaghan was in the German studio. Dom (who was born in Berlin) affected a German accent and began asking Elijah ever more bizarre/outrageous questions. Elijah had no clue that Dom was the person interviewing him, and it's apparently pretty funny watching Elijah trying to deal with (what he thought was) a rather bizarre German "reporter."

Ahem. Not that I would know, or anything.

[City Lights]

26. Hey, thanks for the info!

This sounds like it could be funny, but I doubt it will top the remake of The Council of Elrond scene from The Fellowship. That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

[Garage Queen]

28. You know, I didn't know there was an Easter Egg on FOTR.

But, after some quickie research on the internets, I'm going to watch it at home tonight.

PS Apparently the "interview" clip is something like 8 1/2 minutes long.

[City Lights]

31. Did you see the one in The Two Towers?

I thought it was just okay. It's hard to top the one in FOTR. I hope you find it as funny as I did. Please report back after watching it. :D

[Garage Queen]

34. Reporting back for duty! (salutes)

Damn, but that MTV parody of the council of Elrond was funny. Sick, but funny. HEE!

I can't wait - my Preccccioussss arrives today! C'mon, UPS, let's go!

[City Lights]

37. Glad to hear you enjoyed it.

I thought it was a total side-splitter. Jack Black was fantastic. We showed it to my dad, and I thought he was going to have a heart attack. I never heard him laugh so hard in my life.

I can't wait to see ROTK again. We're going to do an LOTR marathon over winter break.

[yellowdogintexas]

27. The Great Lord of Amazon

should be shipping mine RIGHT NOW

which will also include "Prisoner of Azkaban" thus entitling me to the high and holy

FREE SHIPPING LORD OF THE UNIVERSE


(and no stinky Texas Sales Tax, either, take that Governor Goodhair)

[roguevalley]

33. BWAHAHAHA! I'M HAVING MINE DELIVERED TODAY!!!!!

[mondo joe]

35. Watched it last night!

With the fireplace going and the lights off - FUN!

[Garage Queen]

36. Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!

We hates you! We hates you! Our Precccciousssessss doesn't arrive until today! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

;)