What's the worst pair of names you could give your kids?

[ZombieNixon]

[RevolutionaryActs]

1. Dude.. I'm so going to have kids just so I can name them Frodo and Sam!

ROFL!

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

50. The full name is Samwise, which is even better.

Frodo and Samwise. :)

[ZombieNixon]

80. Better? Much.

"Samwise" comes from the Old English samwís or "half-wise." In short: "idiot."

Another great etymological fact is "Brutus," which, like the word "brute" and possibly the word "Britain," comes from the Latin word meaning "dolt." Given the number of Brutuses (Bruti?) in ancient Rome, people didn't mind calling their kids crappy names.

[Political_Junkie]

2. you forgot apple.

dingbat says she wants to have a whole orchard. :eyes:

[msgadget]

3. They're all bad!

It's hard to pick the least worst out of the lot! Creampuff?? Frodo?? Dick?? Oh, do we like the kid we're naming? That might matter.

[pres2032]

4. Huck and Molly

ok, so the Female name is perfectly good, but the other names were coming pairs too...


anyways, that's just a shout out to the kids on my favorite show. you figure it out, you win some pie!

[Miami Liberal]

5. Jermajesty

Jermaine Jackson's kid has to go through life with this name, no joke.

[ZombieNixon]

7. That's horrible.

Some people just don't like children.

[msgadget]

14. Oh, that's SO wrong...

[obreaslan]

64. Isn't Michael Jackson's kid....

Named Prince or Prince of peace or something like that?

[Miami Liberal]

73. Michael's 3 kids are named

Prince Michael I, a girl named Paris and the youngest boy Prince Michael II. As bad as naming two of your kids Prince is, nothing beats Jermajesty.

[Sandpiper]

6. How about "Apple"

a la Gwynneth Paltrow and Chris Martin.

:puke:

[Sandpiper]

8. What about the Texas couple who named their son ESPN

Yes, that's right, ESPN. As in the cable sports channel.

They might as well have just tattooed "beat me up and take my lunch money" on his forehead.

[Anakin Skywalker]

9. Posting Error.

[Anakin Skywalker]

10. Give 'em a break!

It's frigging Texas, for crying out loud! :) A deep red state where they worship jocks.

[Nikepallas]

11. I once read of a mother who named her twins Ami and Fischer.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

12. Hazel and Phinnaeus? EWWWW!!!

What is it with movie stars and their kids' names?

I may be betraying my baby boomer origins here, but when I think of those two names, the images that come to mind are Shirley Booth as Hazel the maid and Phinneas T. Bluster, the mean puppet on The Howdy Doody Show.

(Similarly, when one of the street kids I worked with named her daughter Sapphire, all I could think of was Amos and Andy.)

[ZombieNixon]

13. I think their middle names are fairly innocuous.

Walter and Patricia or something. Jon Stewart said she gave them those names because she doesn't like children. I tend to agree.

[yellowdogintexas]

31. I heard they are named for grandparents or some other

family relative (s)

[johnnie]

15. This is true

A friend's mother works in one of the inner city schools and teaches the troubled students. She has twins in her class named Orangejello and Lemonjello. That was the names of what she could choose on her menu in the hospital when they were born. They are pronounced Or-an-shello and Le-manshallo.

[ZombieNixon]

16. Ohhh...

that makes me sad. Those poor kids.

[yellowdogintexas]

29. Per Snopes, this is urban legend, however I have a stuffed

pink flamingo named Cherijello in their honor.

[johnnie]

38. Are you serious?..lol

She just told me this about a week ago and I had no reason to not believe her. Oh well...

[yellowdogintexas]

40. hey, the first person that told it to me was Methodist minister

and she swore it was true and they lived in a little town in East Texas

[johnnie]

41. Thing is..

I am such a cynic and skeptic and believe hardly anything anyone tells me without checking it out. It is funny that i didn't even question her, but she was talking about some of the stuff that went on in her mother's school and I just didn't bother to not believe her.:) I will send her the snopes link tomorrow, I always read that site too, I can't believe I missed it.

[proud2BlibKansan]

56. Those kids do exist

I have met them. I have heard this is an urban legend but honestly, I know the jello twins. They are in their 20s now.

[yellowdogintexas]

59. no kidding, where are they?

The version I heard was East Texas

Now all it would take is for someone to overhear the telling of the original urban legend and decide it was a cool thing to do.

and there you are.

I went to high school with identical twins named Bob and Bobby and this is emphatically true. We went crazy trying to get the right one with the right photo for the yearbook.

My sister went to elementary school with a girl named Vagi*a...I put the asterisk in there just in case but you get the drift.

[ironflange]

61. How do you pronounce that?

[JVS]

17. I saw a kid on Maury today named Tequila

I've heard of kids being named brandy and never liked that too much either. Naming kids after hard liquor just seems a little messed up.

[Sandpiper]

27. I went to high school with a guy named Jack Daniels

Considering it was a rural area in a southern state, I don't think it was a coincidence.

[ZombieNixon]

28. I went to elementary school with guy named

Phil McCracken. I really hope that was coincidence.

[JVS]

32. LOL!

[ZombieNixon]

34. Thing was, in fourth grade, nobody got the joke.

You don't realize these things until sixth grade or so. By then, I'd moved away, so I never got to see how things panned out.

[JVS]

36. In college there was a man named Richard Wood, who insisted on being...

called "Dick". Any student who wished to study abroad had to go to sign a study abroad contract up at Dick Wood's office. I don't know why he wouldn't let us call him Richard or simply Mr. Wood. I kind of think he enjoyed having people stifle the snicker associated with going to see Dick Wood

[YellowRubberDuckie]

87. I know people who would love having that name too...

That's hilarious.
Duckie

[proud2BlibKansan]

57. I taught a girl named Hennesee

Mom said she was drunk when she was conceived.

[yellowdogintexas]

68. how about Jezstanie and Jezstaine , sisters in Fort Worth TX

Jezstanie is age 6 and Jezstaine is age 3 and I am Christmas shopping for these little girls, as part of my Sunday School class's Christmas charity project.

I had to look at these names three times to be sure I was really seeing what I thought I was seeing.

But this one is real, given to me by a friend who is principal at the older daughter's school.

by the way they are going to have a nice Christmas. New shirts, jeans, sweaters each, new shoes each, and an assortment of toys and books and art supplies. Mom is getting a set of glassware and some bath towels.

Mom's name is Stephanie, nice and normal. Go figure.

[Mz Pip]

18. Other

I am not making this up:

Orangejello and Lemonjello. Give it a French twist and you've got it. Accent on the second syllable.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[Pithlet]

30. See post 15

:)

[Mz Pip]

48. Someone beat me to it.

Damn. :-)

[Fridays Child]

19. Don't forget Dweezil and Moon Unit.

[Rabrrrrrr]

21. Gagh!! Dweezil was not named Dweezil

He had his name changed, by his own initiative, to Dweezil when he was four.

Of course, Frank and gayle wanted to name him Dweezil, but the "Christian" nurse at the hospital wouldn't let them use that name, so Frank named him after every member of the Mothers.

They still called the baby Dweezil, though, and when he was old enough to find out that wasn't his legal name, he made Frank take him in and legally change it.

[gmoney]

49. My favorite Zappa story...

Frank and Moon were on Johnny Carson having played "Valley Girl" but they got "panel" time with Johnny. So Carson asks the obvious question about the unusual names of his kids, so Frank says something along the lines of:

"I have a son named Dweezil and another son I named Ahmet, but he didn't like that because the kids at school called him "Ahmet Vomit" so I let him pick a new name. He decided on Rick, until the kids at school started calling him "Rick the Dick" so he went back to Ahmet, and now the kids call him "Ahmet the Dick."

I think it was bleeped, but it was obvious what he was saying... and I don't doubt the story at all.

I think that was also the show where Frank said "I hate the San Fernando Valley"

[Dr.Phool]

20. Spiro and Monica

[ZombieNixon]

22. Speaking of Spiro...

my dad was wondering what kind of last name "Agnew" was. Turns out it's faux Greek. He was born Spiro Theodoros Anagnopopolous. Now I know why he shortened it.

[demnan]

23. A tie on the female:

Candy or Bertha

Male: Ebeneezer

[Tharks]

24. George and Dick are the best names.

Clearly the hatred for Bush and Cheney has over powered one's ability to make rational name choices. Face it, as far as 'NAMES' are concerned, George and Dick are the best choices on the list. How would you like to be call creampuff? or something completely unpronounceable?

[ZombieNixon]

26. Strictly namewise, George and Dick are the best names.

There are a lot of nice people named George. I still wouldn't want to be called Dick growing up. However, if things get really bad, will people ever name their kids George ever again?

[yellowdogintexas]

60. Yep! My husband, his father, and another uncle of his, plus

my sister's husband and HIS father are all named George

My husband acquired his uncle George when his mother's sister married a man named George.


And let us not forget George C Scott!!!!!

[guitar man]

25. Dwezil and Moon Unit

I love Frank as much as anyone, but who could give their kids such hideous names?

[DS1]

33. Release Candidate 1 and Release Candidate 2

[ZombieNixon]

35. All right! We're on fire!

[Merrick]

37. Assface and Dingleberry

[sasquatch]

39. How about Herman and Joan, Neal and Bob, Haywood and Joblomme

or move somewhere east of the Rhine river and name your son Ivan Shmackenzit.
:eyes:

[Socialist Dem]

42. A long time ago

it was Biggus Dickus.

[pintobean]

43. Phinnaeus J. Whoopie, you're the greatest!

[ldf]

44. durwood and latrina

durwood was actually a relative.

latrina i actually saw on the name tag of a cashier in new orleans. i thought, did her parents have any idea????

[Longgrain]

45. More choices...

Longgrain and Whyldryce...comes to mind...

[dolo amber]

46. I have a cousin who's a concert pianist...

She named her twin daughters Melody and Harmony. No shit. x(

[Magrittes Pipe]

47. At least she didn't name them Charlene and Andrea.

Melody and Harmony will get jobs at the *high class* strip club.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

51. My husband suggested Sonny and Cher.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

52. Supposedly one of the Learjet heiresses was named "Chanda"

[loudestchick]

53. How about Zendrix and Tschyzl? Yes, someone named their kids that!

[CO Liberal]

54. I've Got One For You

My kid sister used to be a substitute teacher. She told us about a young African-American in a classed she subbed in who had obviously been born around the time the "Roots" mini-series first aired.

His name was Kunte Kinte Jackson.

I remember telling her it was a good thing his last name didn't start with a "K" - if it did, he'd never be able to buy monogrammed shirts.

:-)

[proud2BlibKansan]

55. Worst names

We teachers can tell bad name stories all day long. Here goes -
(and these are ALL true names, none are made up).

TWIN NAMES
Twin A and Twin B
Lemonjello and Orangejello (accent on 2nd syllable)
Mercedes and Seville

OTHER BAD NAMES
Triphinue (Try fin you)
Snookers (Mom said she was conceived on a pool table)
Amber Waves
Female (Fuh moll ee)
Areck (and she was a wreck)
Third Corinthians (he went by T.C.)

And one of my favorites was a family with kids named after where they were born. Mom was military. Her kids were named
Asia
Sudan
Israel
Germany
India

[amandabeech]

58. Colin Cletis, as first and middle names.

Sorry, Messrs. Firth and Powel.

[ironflange]

62. I've known a Peter and a Richard

That may not seem like a big deal, but in this case they were both women.

[Hand]

63. Dubya and Jebbie...

:puke:

And I'll just bet that at least one wingnut fundie POS has already done exactly that.

[obreaslan]

65. How about ...

Propecia and FaBreeze.

No joking either,dead serious. :freak:

[yellowdogintexas]

66. You see everything in health insurance too, it is scary

I have always said the job I never want to have is the one who actually fills out the birth certificate info at the hospital! I would never be able to keep a straight face with all these weird names.

Truth to tell, I read the birth lists in the paper every week, and I have noticed a definite drop off in the strange for the sake of being strange names. Of course there are odd names which turn out to be truly ethnic and actually go with the surname...those don't count.

[Ravenseye]

67. When I was younger I wanted 4 children named after the 4 horsemen

War and Death would be the 2 boys.
Pestilence and Famine would be the 2 girls.

Needless to say my wife would have none of that.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

69. Is that Mxyzptlk's British cousin? (nt)

[ZombieNixon]

83. It's Mxysptlk backwards.

The only way Superman could get him to return to the fifth dimension was to make him say his own name backward.

[tsakshaug]

70. I DID teach

a Telephone (Te-LIF-any)

There were rumors of Syphilis (Su-phyllis) and the others.

Druvanna Moon and her sister Lutana Sun

Were two that I had in class

[Z_I_Peevey]

71. Okay, here's my true name story

Once I knew two sisters named Yvonne and LaVonne. Yvonne pronounced her name Why-vonne.

So they were known as the Von sisters, Why and Luh.

[mattclearing]

72. You forgot Seven and Puma.

Sorry Erykah.

[progmom]

74. Honey and Sugar

...were two girls in school with my brother. Honey was in his kindergarten class. Our terrifically enlightened kindergarten teacher Mrs. Wright (who ruled the classroom with an iron fist and sent many a child to the coatroom in tears) took one look at poor Honey's name on the first day of class and said: '

"I cannot possibly call you Honey. While you are in my class, you will be known as........Louise."

Mind you - Louise was not Honey's middle name or last name...Mrs. Wright just decided it would be a better name for Honey than the one her mama gave her.

[tigereye]

75. Salmon and Nella?

sorry, that's what popped into my head first.

[ze_dscherman]

76. You're not allowed

to give your kids funny names in Germany - only "proper" names. But one may get funny combinations nevertheless.

I once had fun searching a CD containing all German telephone numbers.

I found strange name like:

Wilma Ficken (Wanna Fuck)
Rosa Schlüpfer (Pink Slip)
Anna Nass

[ZombieNixon]

81. In Finland, the government mandates what names you should give you child

based on what day he or she was born. On the calendar, they have a few names printed in each square, so you can tell about what date the kid was born on by looking up his name on the calendar.

I had a Finnish friend in kindergarten named Aki, who was born on "21 Maaliskuu" (March 21). Unfortunately, the March 21st name was a girls name, you they gave him one of the March 17th name.

[the Princess]

77. Well I have a Chris Rock quote that may get this thread locked

I will be a clean as possible.

He said:

"What is with the way black women are naming their kids??? You know sooner or later someone is gonna name their kids C*nniling*s and F*ll*tio."

I love Chris Rock.LMAO

[roguevalley]

78. someone named their kid banjo. I knew someone whose mom

and twin sisters were named essie, glessie and mossie.

[roguevalley]

79. my mom was a librarian and these are actual names of six

kids by Jill and Bob Lee:

Sojourner Fortruth
Maranath Jubilee
Fire In The Belly Of The Lord
Valiant Fortruth
Hallelujah Amen

There is one other but it escapes me. These are honest, actual names.
Damned smart and nice kids, everyone.

[catbert836]

82. Moon Unit and Dweezil

Frank Zappa's kids.

[pookieblue]

84. I once saw someone with the name...

Nobody.

[Nevernose]

85. Real first names: Twinella and Twynella

As if you couldn't guess, they were identical twins. So their mother gave them identical names. You have no idea how much confusion they've caused the system. Poor kids...

[Kellanved]

86. here is a cruel real-life example:

Poor Lara-Joy, Kenny-Jean, Gian-Cedric and Shari-Lynn.