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I have been making medical decisions for my mom for 3 1/2 years now. She is in a nursing home and will be 80 on December 27th. The answer to your question is that you don't always know if you're doing the right thing. You try your best to do what you think is right for the particular person you're concerned about and hope the hell you're right. Each person is an individual. What's right for my mom who is bed bound and suffers from vascular dementia may not be right for your uncle who, though 91, sounds from what you say like he manages fairly well. Since it appears from your information that he is in relatively good condition and has some quality to his life, I think your decision to opt for the more comprehensive though more invasive laproscopic biopsy makes sense. If it provides better information for treatment, perhaps it will turn out to have been instrumental in allowing him to have a few more fairly good years. Yes, it is true that he might not survive - a risk in any surgery at any age which admittedly gets higher as we get older. Still, I think you should try to have a little faith in the fact that you did what you thought was best. I know it's hard. Early in my mom's illness, her cardiologist discovered a major blockage in her coronary artery. He said normally with people of her age and in comparable states of health, he would not attempt to clear it because of the risks involved. He asked me if I wanted to go through with it and whether I would be willing to sign a waiver. It was not an easy decision, but I knew my mom would be dead soon if we didn't try. We proceeded, and she came through it fine. She could have died, but she didn't. If she had died I would have been sad, but I don't think I would have felt guilty. I hope everything works out for you. I know how you feel, but don't spend too much time second guessing yourself. It's clear you care a lot for your uncle. In terms of your morality and love for your uncle, you've already done the right thing regardless of the outcome. Doing the right thing has to mean acting out of love and good conscience. You've done that. Best of luck.
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