OMG I'm going to die!!!!

[St. Jarvitude]

I found a page chock-full of great (albeit hard to read... awful grammar) Family Guy quotes (mostly related to Stewie):

Lois: Oh look at Stewie, isn't he adorable playing with his Sesame Street Phone?
Stewie: Put me through to the Pentagon!
Ernie: Do you know what sound a cow makes?
Stewie: Don't toy with me Ernie, Ive already dispatched with Mr. Cooper, Ive got 6 armed men stationed outside Big Bird's nest, and as for Linda, well it's kind of hard for a deaf women to hear an assassin approach isn't it?
Ernie: Can you count to three?
Stewie: Oh indeed I can. *Shoots phone* One! *Shoots phone* Two! *Shoots phone* Three! Heh heh..can I count to three, for God's sakes I'm already shooting at a fifth grade level.

[Socialist Dem]

1. Heh,

Stewie: Now look here... Jo-LENE, I have an army to raise and I must get to Managua at once. I require a window seat and an in-flight Happy Meal. BUT NO PICKLES. OH, GOD HELP YOU IF I FIND PICKLES. For every pickle I find, I'll KILL YOU!

[Noxmtbnk]

2. I'm [e-mail]

n/t

[YellowRubberDuckie]

3. You must BOW to me!!

[noshenanigans]

4. My fat baby loves to eat (loves to eat)..

My favorite is when they move to the south and Stewie learns the banjo.

"Ooh, I feel so deliciously white trash. Mommy, I want a mullet!"