Uh-oh, Homosexuals DO have an Agenda!

[ihaveaquestion]

The Homosexual agenda

Many of you have heard Dr. Laura, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and others speak of the "Homosexual agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. Since they are all so concerned about this, I thought it might be helpful to have a copy ....so I asked a friend of mine, who recently obtained a copy of the Homosexual Agenda directly from the Head Homosexual, if he would send me a copy. He did and now I am sharing it with all of you. I certainly hope it will assist you so that you will be prepared.....

The Homosexual Agenda:

6:00am Gym

8:00am Breakfast (oatmeal, egg whites and mimosas)

9:00am Hair appointment

10:00am Shopping (preferably at Nordstrom's or Saks)

12:00pm Brunch

2:00pm
(1) assume complete control of the Canadian and American Federal,
state/provincial, and local governments, as well as all other forms of world government;
(2) destroy all healthy marriages;
(3) replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents from Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels;
(4) bulldoze all houses of worship;
(5) secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media;
(6) be fabulous

2:30pm Mud mask and forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest

4:00pm Cocktails

6:00pm Light Dinner (soup, salad with romaine, radicchio, arugula, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing, and Pouilly Fuisse)

8:00pm Theater

10:30pm "Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight!"

[Maat]

1. LOL!

Loved knowing the schedule.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

2. damn!!!!

i need more 6.am. and 2 pm agenda

[Worst Username Ever]

3. HILARIOUS!

[GreenPartyVoter]

4. Dang! _I_ wanted

that hair appointment! *stomping foot*

-----------------------------------
Would Jesus love a liberal? You bet!
http://timeforachange.bluelemur.com/

[Trumanway]

5. If this guy can get all that done in a half hour....

I want to hire him.

[JaneDoughnut]

6. Hold on, I've got one too...

DRAFT OF A CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT TO DEFEND BIBLICAL MARRIAGE:

* Marriage in the United States of America shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Genesis 29:17-28; II Samuel 3:2-5)

* Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Samuel 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chronicles 11:21)

* A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deuteronomy 22:13-21)

* Marriage of a believer and a nonbeliever shall be forbidden. (Genesis 24:3; Numbers 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Nehemiah 10:30, 2 Corinthians 6:14)

* Since marriage is for life, neither the U.S. Constitution nor any state law shall permit divorce. (Deuteronomy 22:19; Mark 10:9-12)

* If a married man dies without children, his brother must marry the widow. If the brother refuses to marry the widow, or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Genesis 38:6-10 Deuteronomy 25:5-10)

* In lieu of marriage (if there are no acceptable men to be found), a woman shall get her father drunk and have sex with him. (Genesis 19:31-36)

Hopefully, this helps to clarify the finer details of the government's righteous struggle against the infidels and heathens among us.

To check the accuracy of these you can go to http://bible.gospelcom.net/ type in the book and verse, and up pops the story.

[sniffa]

7. fabuLous!

i wasn't sure when the buLLdozing was... thanks for the tip.

[dr.strangelove]

8. Godless homos shopping at Nordies,

We must stop this gay agenda. Nordies is for straight, god fearing heterosexuals. They don't sell pink lacy pants in men (or "butch") sizes. Keep your queer soldiers out of our stores. Next thing you know queers will be eating "normal" restaurants, buying gas at "normal" gas stations and getting their hair cut at Supercuts.

Okay, there is no way any self respecting gay, bi or lesbian would get a Supercuts haircut.

[TrogL]

9. Last Supercuts haircut I had...

I asked them to keep it "off the collar", so they basically shaved the back of my head.

I have no idea.