News Headlines in the Year 2035!

[Dying Eagle]

1. Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.


2. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.


3. Baby conceived naturally....Scientists stumped.


4. Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.


5. Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.


6. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.


7. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.


8. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.


9. Results of 35 year study: diet and exercise are the key to weight loss.


10. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.


11. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.


12. Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.


13. Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.


14. Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.


15. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.


16. Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.


17. Capital Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with Congressman.


18. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.



Sent to me in a E-MAil. Feel free to add some!!

[tk2kewl]

1. sounds like freeper propaganda to me!

[Dying Eagle]

3. lighten up

When you have 1100 posts then talk to me OK. I am no Freeper

[tk2kewl]

10. i didn't say you were a freeper

but why don't you read what you posted. i maligns just about every progressive principle

[7th_Sephiroth]

2. George w bush mauseleum, corpse violated

communisim working fine, thanks to new technoligy
Last southern baptist schedueled to be executed at midnight
jesus returns, arrested for molesting child
last drug company filing for bankruptcy, everyone gets free medicine now

[MrScorpio]

4. So, they'll finally put a stake thru the heart of the "Liberal Media"

In 2035.

Sounds like it

[jeff30997]

5. How about :

Supreme court finally allows recount of 2000 election in Florida.Gore wins by a landslide.

[Dying Eagle]

6. lol

good one

[7th_Sephiroth]

7. 7th_Sephiroth clones continue thier brutal world invasion

7th_Sephiroth and the Blood Dragon mercanaries take over world

7th_Sephiroth first man on mars

[jeff30997]

9. 7th_Sephiroth wins Nobel Prize...

For modesty.:)

[7th_Sephiroth]

11. WOOHOO!!!

This is going next to my bomb-e

[7th_Sephiroth]

8. doope deleted

[Zorra]

12. Have to compliment you on your username - a sad but accurate statement.

[jdots]

13. these are great...

tomorrow we're going to the wood museum to show the kids some of those trees from the old days.
We used to think there will be museums to see culture from the 20th century.