TAMPONS:"Satan's Little Cotton Fingers!"

[Reciprocity]

Landover Ladies Vow to "Stop Satan From Pulling The Strings!"

Read it if you dare.
Landover Baptist
<SNIP>
"A Godly woman is only to use a Maxi-Pad," Mrs. Crockett stated. "Why, they even have them with little angel wings now! I handed her a box and told her unless she wanted my handprint across her face she was never to utter that evil T word again!” The as yet unidentified woman then fled the store in humiliation. Landover Security sketch artists are preparing a likeness to aid in identifying the young woman. Her salvation status is unknown, but based on this event, it is likely she is Hellbound.

For more...

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0999/cotton.html

[Sannum]

1. I hope this is a joke...

[Tace]

3. Biting Satire

[UCLA Dem]

4. yes it is. landover baptist is a spoof site.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

2. We must cave into these people as Democrats. We'll never win if we don't

We must abandon women cause Satan's already got his finger in the pie!

[Castilleja]

14. Hahahahaha!

LOL :D

[ET Awful]

16. Well tell him to get his fingers out, I want some pie too :) :) :)

[hippiechick]

5. Oh. My. Flippin. Goddess.

:wow:

Amazing.
Disturbing.
Holy Cow.


:hippie:

[DODI]

6. Betty Bowers is my hero!

[ronnykmarshall]

12. Don't forget Mrs. Judy O'Christian

[Roon]

17. I love her pickled watermelon rinds. eom

[SarahB]

7. I'd bet tampons would be ok if...

it could marry and impregnate you.
Mustn't have anything else there. Jeebus says it's bad. :scared:

[smirkymonkey]

18. Immaculate Conception!

It's the only way for nice Christian girls to go! :)

[FeelinGarfunkelly]

8. Oh jeebus

This is so ridiculous. If they really want to do something that Jesus would like they could use those rubber cup thingies. The Keeper, I believe they're called. Stop cluttering up the world w/ shit that won't decompose.

Or maybe it's all about putting their hands near their nether regions. Crazy baptists

[FizzFuzz]

9. hahahah!!!! Landover Baptist, what a hoot!

yes, they're satire, alright, don't worry.

Check their sire you'll get a good laugh (Lord knows we need it), and you can even order some great anti- bush stuff. :D

[Az_lefty]

10. it's so easy to picture Landover as a real Baptist Church...

[Tesibria]

11. a spoof -- but like most spoofs, a shred of truth

... i wasn't allowed to use tampons when I was a kid -- ya see, tampons could take away your virginity.

--------------------
Store: www.cafepress.com/tesibria.com (All proceeds go to buy PROGRESSIVE books and magazines for small town ("red") library.)
Blog: www.democracyiscoming.com

[democracy eh]

13. OK toooooooooooooo funny

I thought it was real

[knowbody0]

15. i was trapped in a convent as a child

"one never touches DOWN THERE"

[the Princess]

19. Oh Dear the Princess must stop using tampons

they doest compromise my viginity! :evilgrin:

[jus_the_facts]

20. on a serious note....ladies....DON'T USE 'EM........

....you were NEVER meant to stuff the inside of your snatch with BLEACHED WOOD BYPRODUCTS...yeah they're convienient but I'm convinced they cause us MORE health problems in the long run..... :think:

[rainbow4321]

21. Maybe not, but...

who the fuck wants to ride the cotton pony for a week at a time? Blah! :puke:

[jus_the_facts]

22. Well I'd rather ride that pony than have toxic shock....

....or various cancers from the chemicals in tampons...but that's just me... :hi:

[supernova]

23. You only get TSS if you

don't change the tampon for more than eight hours at a time. Otherwise, it's fine.

I love Landover Baptist. :D

Course, if you used the 3 months at a time bc pill like I do, you don't have the monthly visitor. It's the quarterly vistor. :think:

[jus_the_facts]

24. don't even get me STARTED about hormone manipulation.....

.....and yes *I'm* educated of the causes and effects of toxic shock...but lest we forget the millions of fucktards out there who may not....and the fact remains your vagina wasn't made to house little bleach wads of paper to inhibit the natural flow of your period....which HAS to be a major factor in increased health risks and contributes to the rise in vaginal cancers....sigh... :nopity:

[tjdee]

25. I hate tampons.

Well, I do. It seems awfully unnatural to plug up stuff.
In general though, I could do without the entire business.

:(

[jus_the_facts]

27. I could definitely do without the entire business too.....

....I'm convinced that tampons are extremely unhealthy and damaging to women...and I refuse to use 'em....call me crazy...sigh... x(

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

28. I agree...

Pads suck if you actually want to get some exercise, and you can't wear them when you go swimming.

I've contemplated getting a diva cup, but haven't gotten around to purchasing one yet. I'm not sure how comfortable they would be, but I'd like to try it out sometime.

[JoshWatermanMN]

26. This is Brilliant--Just the stuff we should be using

I have thought for a long time we should be using this kind of satire for protest purposes, taking it to the streets. Can you imagine a Landover Baptist Brigade used to mock the fundys protesting for the Federal Marriage Amendment? I think we could really connect with the sane (or at least, saner) population by using humor, throwing the fundy message back into their faces.