What obnoxious thing will my parents say about my new apartment?

[eyesroll]

They're visiting it tomorrow. Here are some anticipated responses about both the apartment and my personal life. Feel free to add your own.

For the record, I have the lower unit in a brick duplex, with three small bedrooms (2 usable, one has no electricity so it's storage), an ancient kitchen and bath, but a very nice and enormous living/dining/office space.

[kick-ass-bob]

1. Gotta be the gin.

Only parents can take a fact to its illogical extreme conclusion...

[Fenris]

2. I voted for the MLK one, but I had to search for what JDate is.

:) I guess "JewDate" would have been a bit iffy for a site name.

[eyesroll]

10. My dad's already suggested JDate.

I'm sure there are plenty of nice people there...but I took a quick look and everyone just looked like they were 35 and still living with their parents, not because they were disabled or were taking care of sick relatives or had fallen onto hard times, but because they thought they would miss their mother's cooking too much if they left.

[Aiptasia]

3. I'm going with the shul...

My peeps still harang me about dating and marriage. I don't think they'll ever quit, even though i'm content to be a goyam boy toy for life.

[Worst Username Ever]

4. As soon as you said obnoxious parents, I figured you had the classic

jewish mother. Looking at your answers, I was on the money! As a gentile who once dated a wonderful jewish woman, I would say her mother was... a.. unique individual.

[HEyHEY]

5. "Is this where you 'do' legions of men?"

[Mizmoon]

6. Mine would say this:

"Oh honey it's very ...um," insert long, long pause, "nice."

[eyesroll]

7. Oh, that one's a given.

"So long as you're happy with it, that's all that matters." That's another.

[TNDemo]

8. I remember when we bought our first house.

We were so proud to finally be homeowners. It was small (about 1,350 sq ft) but all brick with a fenced in yard for the two small kids and had all the basics. I remember my mother coming to visit as I hosted my first Thanksgiving for the family. My SIL was there and said to my mother, "Isn't this lovely? Isn't it so great that they now own this home?" My mother hesitated, then said, "Well, I guess it's better than paying rent." Of course a couple of years later when we decided to move up (house had appreciated well and allowed us to make a bigger down payment) she about had a stroke that we would do such a foolish thing and said we could never sell it for what I priced it at but we got the full asking price. Funny how we want our mother's approval no matter how old we get.

[northzax]

9. see, I think you're giving them too much credit

don't you think they'll be much more concerned about the gigilo with the ball gag in the third bedroom? I mean really.

[eyesroll]

11. Why would I have a gigilo?

That guy there pays me rent.

[northzax]

12. well sure,

but where do you think he gets that rent money? hmm? Investment Banking? or investment bankers?

[stellanoir]

13. well if they were WASP's

they'd say, "oh how quaint."-the ultimate seemingly neutral WASPian dig.

Just as long as they don't say. "go and be well." in Yiddish (I can say it but don't know the spelling) then it's a great mitzva and you'll be fine.

"I hope you are well and happy in you're new abode and don't forget to Feng Shue honey. Mazeltoff !" (weak stab channeling your etheric multicultural fairy godmother here).

[MikeG]

14. We told you he was a loser. Did you listen? No.

[underpants]

15. You know, this is a lot of space for one person...

It works on many levels:
-You need a man
-you need more furniture
--can we help you with getting the furniture?
--Can you afford it?

-We are generally worried about you what with you being alone in the place by yourself (read:Are you going nuts?)


Huh? Not bad for a gentile huh?

[eyesroll]

16. Wow. I'm impressed.

Although, the "can you afford it" will be supplanted by "we know what you're paying and there has to be a reason it's so cheap."

[underpants]

17. I meant "can you afford it" as in the furniture

Can we help you out with that? (We want to hold a share and have a sayso in your life).


Jewish/Gentile/Black/White parents aren't all that different.

[eyesroll]

19. Ah. Yes.

My bedroom set is actually from them -- it was a wedding gift. That's how it was decided that I get it -- because they'd pitch a fit otherwise, even if I got the equivalent in cash. That was actually one of the first questions my parents asked, after "are you OK" -- "you get the bedroom set, right?" :eyes:

[redqueen]

20. hahahahaha

That cracked me up... I hope it's a nice set, at least. :)

edit to say... I'm sure it's nice... I meant I hope it's something you like.

[pdx_prog]

18. As ellen degeneres used to say

be sure to clean the hair off of your soap before your parents come over...:)

[eataTREE]

21. My mother is irrationally exuberant about everything I do or acquire.

Last time she came to visit, I picked her up at the airport in my extremely modest, utilitarian, and cheap 1998 Honda Civic. Her eyes opened wide and she said, "Goodness! Is THAT your car?"

She's coming for thanksgiving. I'm almost afraid to pick her up in the NEW car. I don't want her to die of shock or anything.

[intheflow]

22. A nice Jewish girl like you? It's gotta be the shul question.

If for no other reason than to find a nice Jewish man to save you from living alone like a dog and to give us some wonderful grandchildren.

[Hand]

23. Other...

"So what's with the door??? No mezuzah??????????????"

:silly:

[lumberingbear]

24. "That's very nice!!!"....

"What is it???"