Apu Nahassapeemapetilon's best line?

[Arkana]

Apu: That will be $24.95 for the aspirin.
Marge: $24.95???
Apu: I discounted the price because an escaped mental patient tampered with the bottle.

[shaolinmonkey]

1. "The NY (pronounced nie) Mets are my favorite squadron"

[CanuckAmok]

4. Why would I need the infinate wisdom and compasion of Ganesha,

when I can have Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman staring at me from Entertainment Weekly with their DEAD EYES!"

[Strawman]

2. I'll be your freakzoid, c'mon and wind me up

That episode killed me.

[CanuckAmok]

3. Not a line, but:

His timecut rant about Skinner's book, "Billy and the Clone-a-saurus" makes me bust a gut each time.

[rinsd]

5. A couple.....

After Homer gets food poisoning and confronts him, he contemplates losing a valued customer then annouces "5 cents off expired baby food!"

And after becoming a chocolate Apu for Manjula in honor of Valentines Day he screams "Help! I can't breath!" I don't know why but I always crack up at that line.

[rinsd]

7. "He slept, he stole, he was rude to the customers....

...but there goes the best damn employee a convienience stor ever had!"

[rinsd]

8. "I think we should use the money for more police....

....I was shot 3 times last year and almost missed a day of work"

To which Chief Wiggum reponds "crybaby"

[tridim]

6. "I once worked a 72 hour shift..

.. by the end I thought I was a humming bird of some kind."

"Mr. Simpson, now get out of my store.. and come again!"

On the PA: "Sonjay to the front of the store with the Windex.. Sonjay to the the front of the store with the Windex."

[BurtWorm]

9. "This is not as hot a party as I had anticipated."

Remember the context?

[SemiCharmedQuark]

10. Ha! The Phone sex party line!

[DelawareValleyDem]

11. When he pretends to be

married to Marge to fool his mother, she walks in and sees him on the floor and Homer in bed with Marge.

"Marge how could you??"

[aePrime]

12. Silly customer, you cannot ruin a twinkie!

[hightension]

13. Would you like

a Chutney Skwishee with that?