Bit of humor for today.

[Archae]

> In the early 1960's, a typical teenage date is being performed. The
> caller, Doug, is going to pick up Mary Jane for a dinner, movie, and
> maybe a little hankie pankie. He gets to the house and rings the
> doorbell. Instead of Mary Jane, he is greeted by her father.
>
> The dad invites the high schooler into his house and sits him down in
> the living room. "Well, Doug, Mary Jane is still getting ready. Shall
> we talk for a little bit?" Doug groans as this usually means a
> grilling by the father.
>
> "So, Doug, what are your plans tonight?"
>
> "Well, sir, I was thinking about a Burger then taking her to the
> movies."
>
> "Hmm, well, Son, if you did not know, Mary Jane loves to Screw."
>
> Doug's mind shorted for a second at this. "Um, she likes to what,
> Sir?"
>
> "She likes to screw. I hear it is all the rage and that all the kids
> are doing it. Yes, if you let her, she would screw all night."
>
> Well, Doug's mind is in a whirl as he quickly rearranges his plans.
> This information changes everything.
>
> Just then, Mary Jane is heard coming down the stairs. She appears in a
> short poodle skirt, light blouse with a short sleeve sweater. "Hey,
> Doug, Daddy. I am ready to go."
>
> Doug and Dad have stood up and Dad leads them to the door. "Have a
> nice time." He shuts the door and proceeds to the easy chair,
> whistling.
>
> Ten minutes later, the door slams open and a very disheveled Mary Jane
> comes stomping over to her dad, tears in her eyes, as she yells out,
>
> "ITS CALLED THE TWIST, DAD! NOT THE SCREW ... THE TWIST!!!!"

[ironflange]

1. An old favorite, but I've heard it with an extra line

At one point, after a thoughtful drag on his pipe, Dad says:

"You know, son, Mary Jane taught me the right way to screw only last week."