My room mate is killing me!!!!

[curse10]

I have one pet peeve that drives me insane. ONE. And he fucking has it and it's driving me fucking crazy! He is slowly destroying me.

Eating noises. He is the loudest eater I have ever seen in my entire life. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad if he ate normal food. This, however, is not the case. He eats one of three things on a rotating basis. Cereal. Spoonfuls of peanutbutter. Cottage cheese and fruit. (His diet is a whole other issue. How is he even alive!!??) He then procedes to eat these items at an incredibly loud volume (mouth open of course).

He will actually come home, go to the kitchen, get a bowl, the box of cereal, the gallon of milk, and bring it into the living room and proceed to pour himself three or four bowls and eat them. Who the fuck does that?

I can be sitting all the way across the room and still hear him! It makes me nauseaus! I actually start to feel sick to my stomach because it is so disgusting. How can he be nearly 30 years old and still have this habit! Don't all mothers tell their children to eat with their mouths closed???

I actually have to get up and leave the room. I've only known the guy a month, it's not like he's my brother and I can say, "Hey Loser, fucking shut your mouth while you eat! Pig!" It's a sensitive situation and I have no idea what to do about it.

And he wonders why he is still single...

[bigwillq]

1. You should tape record him eating

And then make him listen to it.
Maybe he'll take the hint.

[NJCher]

2. buy a pair of those orange ear plugs

They work great, even with noises like leaf blowers.


Cher

[BlueHandDuo]

3. You've only known him a month...

...and already you're living together?

Didn't your mama ever tell you you'd better shop around?

[curse10]

4. he's my room mate... not my boyfriend

sheesh! He lives with me and my significant other.

[artboy]

8. reach over to him

and slap the living sh** outta of him....Say "close you damn mouth".."aint ya got no home training?"

heheheheheh:headbang:

[MadHound]

5. And he wonders why he is still single, indeed!

Sounds like the man is a prize putz. I mean, I've had my slob moments, but I've always closed my mouth when eating:eyes: Though personally I can't find fault with his diet, I've been known to have a pretty repetitive diet in my single days.

Only suggestion I can come up with is to have a Walkman handy, and when he proceeds to dine, simply put on the headphones and crank them up. Perhaps he'll get the message. Or you could simply reach over, put your finger under his chin, and gently shut his lower jaw. Or politely ask him to close his mouth.

Hope it gets better, roomates suck, which is why I've avoided them whenever possible.

[curse10]

9. We wish we didn't need a room mate

but Boston is just too expensive :-( The walkman idea is a good one. I just don't know how I can handle a year of this. It sounds silly, but it really grosses me out!

[GreenArrow]

6. I feel for you

Wish I had a solution, but I've never been able to come up with one. Putting up with gum chewer/cracker/popper/snapper even as I write. That's the worst for me.

One suggestion: don't talk to him when you are angry.

[TrogL]

7. He may have breathing issues

Some people can't eat with their mouths shut because they can't breath properly through their noses.

Or else they're assholes using that as an excuse.

[On the Road]

10. That is Hell on Earth, Man -- It is Indescribable Torture

When I was a kid, my great uncle used to live with us. I would always be seated next to him at dinner, and got an earful of very loud chomping. It bothered me so much that I would put my hand over my ear, promptly getting into trouble with my parents.

My girlfriend had a Chinese colleague over for dinner one night, and she was the loudest eater I have ever heard. I had to eat quickly and leave the table, leaving them to chat.

And it's a really sensitive thing to bring up. I hate being told about, even though (or maybe because) I don't think I have a problem. My ex-wife was bothered by the way I eat, and I still don't understand it. I asked her once if I was opening my mouth, and she said "No, but I don't like your cadence." WTF?

[LynneSin]

11. I just had cottage cheese - HOW CAN SOMEONE EAT IT LOUDLY

I mean it's cottage cheese! I could surgically remove all my teeth before eating it and I could still eat the stuff.

:crazy:

[curse10]

12. He smacks it

and slurps it. Gives me the willies just thinking about it.

[Kenneth ken]

13. you're in law school, right?

Certainly someone with your intellect can find a more polite set of words to combine to essentially say, "Hey Loser, fucking shut your mouth while you eat! Pig!"

So, do so; then next time he starts whining about being single take the opportunity to explain how his eating habits might adversely affect his potential as mating material.

Or, have your SO tell him.