Couple Stunned To See 500 Ronald McDonald Dolls On Road Staring At Them

[matcom]

<snip>

When Eric Dau and his wife, Sherrise, drove into their mobile home court in Camanche in the darkness of early Wednesday morning, he says they were startled and frightened to see what was in the roads ahead of them. There were neat rows — as if in painted yellow lines — hundreds of Ronald McDonald dolls.

“It was eerie, frightening,” says Dau, who is corrections officer for the Clinton County sheriff’s office. Why all those 14-inch stuffed dolls, with ceramic faces, had been so carefully placed in the middle of a half-dozen roads in Cedar Heights, is a mystery from “Twilight Zone.”

Dau, who is also a volunteer reserve officer for the city of Camanche, was coming off duty at 12:30 a.m. His wife was in the car with him.

He estimates there were 500 of those Ronald McDonald dolls, in perfect formations, spaced about two or three feet apart in the center of six roads in the court that houses about 150 mobile homes.

“It was like we were seeing things not to be believed,” he says. Dau’s wife feared it was a bizarre trap to entice women out of their cars.

“It could have been a scheme. Some criminal would expect that a woman might stop to pick up a doll and assault her,” he says.

http://www.qctimes.com/print.php?story_id=1035268&doc=

[Connie_Corleone]

1. I'm surprised they survived.

Don't be fooled! The Ronald McDonald Dolls are killers!

Don't give them to the children!!

[Sequoia]

2. They're all "Chucky" type dolls

who'll whip out an uzi on us all.

[salvorhardin]

3. Oh good gawd!

“It could have been a scheme. Some criminal would expect that a woman might stop to pick up a doll and assault her,” he says.

Yes, that's right! It's a criminal conspiracy. No, on second thought, it's terrorists! yes, that's right -- terrorists! I tell you what. Terrorists seeking to abuse this most Amerikan of symbols and rape our good unsuspecting god-fearin', Ronald McDonald lovin' women folk.

Jeezus krist, can't something just be a prank anymore without it turning into a virtual crime? Is everybody so indoctrinated into this culture of fear?

[Bucky]

4. Paranoid times

Some stoner found a cache of out of circulation McDonald dolls and did a harmless practical joke with them. But everyone starts thinking it's a trap to attack women driving by. Because, of course, only women stop and get out of their cars late at night.

We live in paranoid times, my friends. We're programmed to fear the worse at anything we don't understand. Stay inside, ladies. Watch TV, shop online, and don't question your government. We'll get at the terrorists who perpertrated this attack on capitalistic values.

[BigMcLargehuge]

5. I knew the aliens were here when I saw them crop circles

now I KNOW they are infiltrating us. It's a signal I tell you! A signal!

[LSdemocrat]

6. MIHOP?

[Beetwasher]

7. Can't Sleep, Clown Will Eat Me

n/t

[LiberalVoice]

8. It must have been a rape scheme!

I mean everybody knows that when grown women see dolls lying in the middle of the street at night they just can't resist jumping out of their cars and grabbing as many as they can carry. Don't you know women are stupid?

[mrboba1]

9. The rest of the story...

Later that night Dau went out back to relieve himself and noticed that there was another formation, this time of Tickle-Me-Elmos.

Turns out there was a turf war, because McDonald's was trying to build a store next to the Sesame Street Diner...

[The empressof all]

10. LOL-thank you--I needed this thread (nt)

[LoZoccolo]

11. I think this is my favorite story, that you have ever linked.

It's got this uneasy, surreal quality to it. :thumbsup:

[Rabrrrrrr]

12. The difference between the Daus and smart people:

Smart people would have looked at the dolls and thought "Hey, that's cool" or "Neat prank" or "Someone is making an artistic statment."

The Daus, and sadly most of bovine Dorito-eating Survivor-obsessed America, first think, "I need to fear this."