New gay neighbors...code words

[cally]

Did that subject get you attention??

I went over to meet my new neigbors. They haven't moved in yet. Within the first 30 seconds the man mentioned his partner and I figured out he was male. We talked about the schools, the running trails, I offered help with moving in. He mentioned his 'partner" about 15 times. I think he was trying to tell me he was Gay and judging how I reacted. I think my non-reaction confused him so he kept pointing it out. So, what should I have said or done to say that I got it, he's gay, and I'm much more worried about what kind of neighbor he'll be. :shrug:

[Dem Agog]

1. Ya did good...

If you have no problem with it, just keep acting like it's no big deal. Eventually he will chill and will probably be very glad to have you as a neighbor. (Unless you go to get the newspaper in boxers only and scratch your family jewels on your way out and back that is...)

[cally]

2. I'm female

but I got your point.

[Dem Agog]

9. Oops! :)

Well then they'd REALLY not like it! :)

[gospelized]

3. you should've said

"partner?! damn."

[YellowRubberDuckie]

4. Making homosexuality a non issue is the best reaction...

When a friend of mine came out to me he said he loved my reaction. "And?" It was simple, but it got the point across that I didn't care, loved him anyway, and was going to be there no matter what. His other friend told him she was sorry. Bitch. Anyway, you did good.
Duckie

[johnnie]

5. You should have told him...

...you were hoping for a lesbian couple to move in, but they will do.

[ezee]

6. You could have

asked what his partners name is. And then invited them for a beer.
IE: treating them as you would anyone else in the same situation.
And, you still can.

[cally]

7. I did exactly what I've done with every other new neighbor

Nothing different at all. I just asked because I think I should have indicated that I understood after he pointed it out about 15 times.

[ezee]

10. My point

is that by engaging in conversation about who his partner is,(his name, what kind of work etc) would let him know that you could care less if hes gay or whatever. Which then would have put him at ease with the situation.

[Inland]

19. I think that's right ------"And what does HE do?"

is both showing a polite interest and that you got the male partner thing.

[mark414]

8. i have gay neighbors

they lived there before i moved in and i had a similar experience because i only met one of them first. once i met his partner though, i think they understood that i didn't care.

[miss_kitty]

11. i saw your post it reminded my of something i saw in The Stranger

Seattle's 'Alternative' News Weekly:

http://www.thestranger.com/2004-09-16/grab_bag.html

Note Editor-in-Chief, Dan Savage

[Lex]

12. Sometimes the word "partner" stands out more so than "wife"

or "husband" -- sometimes it just sounds like the person is saying "partner" a lot because it is relatively new in the language.

People say "my wife" or "my husband" this or that, but it doesn't seem to stand out quite so much in the conversation.

After a while, you'll hardly notice it at all because it will be replaced with the person's actual name.

[Terran]

16. That was my thought too

It sounds like she's exaggerating a bit on the number of times the neighbor said the word "partner". If it had been "wife" it probably wouldn't have seemed "like 15 times". In such a conversation, I think one could expect the absent part of the couple to be mentioned several times.

And, I doubt very much that she "confused" him. I mean, what is he, a lab rat conditioned to expect the same response every time? No.

[cally]

21. I mentioned my husband once

I started counting after awhile.

[Ilsa]

13. Maybe he was waiting for one of those sterotypical comments, like

"Great! Finally, now there's someone I can borrow a jar of capers from when I run out."

Or you could have said something funny, like, "Phew! You don't know what a relief it is to have those Jehovah's Witnesses move out!"

[Lefty48197]

14. All right already! You're fuc*ing Gay. Get over it will ya?

Geez!

[Liberal Veteran]

15. You should have told him your property values thank him...

...since gay people tend to take good care of their homes.

[Logansquare]

18. I told a homophobic lady across the street that

She was whispering to me conspiratorily about the men living next door to me and how they may be G.A.Y. and I told her that it's very good for the property values, and oh I hope more move in. You could see the little wheels in her head turning slowly after that.

[arwalden]

17. It just seemed odd to you. Maybe.

My neighbor talks about her "husband" all the time and it's not as though she's trying to signal to me that she's straight. I wouldn't worry about it.

Your next question should be "how long have you two been together"... "where did you meet". The follow up with similar information about you and your partner / spouse (if you have one.)

All is fine. No worries.

[Guy Fawkes]

20. Or maybe he's an agent, and he was talking about the guy he works with....

maybe you're a terror susepct! ruuuun!


:silly: