I'm a gay DUer. Ask me anything.

[Plaid Adder]

Apropos of the whole "Christ Matthews is Gay" thing in the GD forum, uly and I had a little conversation the other day about the value of doing outreach to well-meaning straight people. I admit I was cranky. I've been doing that kind of thing for a long time. But what the hell, once more unto the breach. Are you a well-meaning straight person? Have you got a stupid question you want answered, but are afraid to ask to a live gay person in real time? You have 45 minutes. Shoot.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[ButterflyBlood]

1. Do you think Madonna and Britney Spears are hot?

[Plaid Adder]

4. Neither separately nor together.

More on that here:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/plaidder/24448.html

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[ButterflyBlood]

12. who do you think is hot then?

[Plaid Adder]

14. Hottest woman in the world is my partner.

http://www.plaidder.com/liza.htm

Your mileage may vary,

The Plaid Adder

[TrogL]

2. How do I stop a gay guy from being "queeny"?

The whole camp thing annoys me.

[Plaid Adder]

5. He doesn't try to stop you from being butch, does he?

Nothing you can do about the camp thing, it's bigger than all of us.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[TEXASYANKEE]

3. I love stupid questions!

I once asked a lesbian friend why she read straight "bodice ripping" novels.

Sorry I can't think of a question for you right this minute.

[eyesroll]

6. Does it annoy you when people ask you "how gay people feel" about

something, as though you're a representative of every gay person in the world?

(I get the "how Jewish people feel" question occasionally, and I'm probably as non-observant as they come, so it bugs me.)

[trof]

9. Funny, you don't LOOK jewish.

;-)

[TioDiego]

10. Are you a Lesbian?

So, how are things in Beirut?

[Plaid Adder]

13. Yes.

Wouldn't know.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[TioDiego]

16. I meant Lebanese

Sorry

[Plaid Adder]

19. Yeah, I have never gotten that whole "lebanese" thing.

I think it started with Rosie O'Donnell. Just say the word, Rosie! You won't explode!

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[Plaid Adder]

11. Usually.

If I feel like speaking for my people, I'll do it myself, is the way I normally look at it.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[cherryperry]

18. me, too, as if

I carry the burden of world Jewry on my back at all times - oy vey!

:pals:

[KamaAina]

7. Why is it so hard to get rid of homophobia on the left -- even at DU?

Otherwise perfectly good progressives who don't have a racist or sexist bone in their body sometimes seem to think it's still 1954 when it comes to GLBT issues.

Perhaps there's a section of your piquant "Etiquette Manual" that's relevant?

[Plaid Adder]

17. The etiquette manual is ALWAYS relevant!

Actually, the reason is very simple. Most people don't want to admit they might be doing something wrong. Since most lefties can tell that homophobia is wrong, no one wants to admit they might be engaging in it. Same reason the white left finds it so hard to really address racial issues, if you ask me.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[cherryperry]

24. That is true and so is

anti-Semitism on the left! The last 2 "acceptable" prejudices for ALL people, but it hurts more when it comes from the left...

[trof]

8. I dunno.

All that stuff is just so icky and gross and eeeuuuuuwwwww.
I think all that ESS-EE-EX junk is yucky and tewky and not real clean anyway and I'm not gonna so there!

But since you were nice enough to come here and volunteer,
what's your favorite color?
Thank you.
;-)

[Plaid Adder]

20. Blue.

Are you named after the texas rules of form, trof?

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[trof]

22. nope

the retired old fart
Are the Texas rules of form something I should know about?
and mine's red.

[calm_blue_ocean]

15. Anyone can say they are gay on the Internet

How do we know you are not just some poseur trying to get gay cred?

[Plaid Adder]

21. Well, in the most fundamental sense, CBO, on the net

you can never truly know anything.

However, if I am a poseur, I have been posing consistently since 1996:

http://www.io.com/~wwwomen/queer/etiquette/intro.html

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[calm_blue_ocean]

26. Color me ... convinced nt

[TrogL]

23. What's with the wrist thing?

Mine need to be flexible for keyboard playing, but I mean really

[Plaid Adder]

25. Have to ask a gay man about that, TrogL.

What you got here is a lesbian. Although my personal perception is that "the wrist thing" is more a hetero stereotype than an actual observable behavior.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[TrogL]

37. Is the "wet spot" an issue

with straights it can get really, really messy

[StaggerLee]

27. Will paisley prints ever come back in to style?

?!?!?

[Plaid Adder]

30. Honey, everything eventually comes back

no matter how bad an idea it was.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[mitchtv]

28. would you settle for civil unions

that gave you and your partner the same rights as married people, the only difference being semantic?

[Plaid Adder]

31. Theoretically yes, but practically speaking

I very much doubt that you could keep the semantic difference purely semantic. "Separate but equal" has been tried before; the results were not encouraging.

Gay marriage has never been a voting issue for me, actually...but a fucking constitutional amendment *banning* gay marriage, that's a totally different story.

:mad:

The Plaid Adder

[cherryperry]

29. Okay,

was it hard to come out to your family? What was their reaction and has it changed over time?

[Plaid Adder]

33. Yes, bad, and yes.

Initially, my mother was very bad. My father was pretty good. My brother was entirely indifferent. My sister was initially freaked but got over it pretty quickly.

My mother remained pretty awful for years, but got over it once she told her friends and realized they wouldn't shun her for this. Now we all get along about as well as can be expected.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[CanuckAmok]

32. Something I always want to ask...

I know the backgrounds of most of my gay/lesbian friends, just by knowing them a while. Some answers I still don't know, because it never comes up in conversation...

But here's the question I'd ask every gay person I knew, if I didn't think it was rude to ask:

"Have you ever had sex with someone of the opposite gender to your own?"

[Plaid Adder]

35. No, but I did some fooling around.

I am unusual that way. Lots of GBLT people do have sex with people of the opposite sex; many of them go so far as to get married. Everyone comes to the realization through a different route.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[TrogL]

42. Many try getting married

or otherwise forcing themselves to "be straight".

Heartbreak for all involved.

[latebloomer]

34. Do you think we're all innately bisexual?

My husband thinks I'm a latent lesbian. I am fascinated with gay--particularly lesbian-- life, have done a lot of reading about it, think women's bodies are more appealing than men's, find porn that portrays women having sex more erotic than man/woman porn. I have never had a true lesbian experience, though years ago I used to say "I just haven't met the right woman yet."

Yet I'm also very attracted to men, am perfectly happy being married, and always saw my fulfillment would lie in the hetero direction. I solve this mystery by saying that we're all born bi, and then become conditioned one way or the other. What do you think?

[Plaid Adder]

38. It's a continuum.

My personal feeling is that orientation would be a lot more fluid if we weren't so hung up on having everything shoved into a neatly labeled box. However, some people do lean a lot more in one direction than the other, for whatever reason.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[trof]

41. OK, a serious question:

Have you read "Brain Sex"?
If so, what did you think of it?
This in response to your "continuum" comment, leaning one way or the other.

[Plaid Adder]

43. No, and therefore nothign.

eom

The Plaid Adder

[trof]

47. I think you'd find it interesting.

I did. An exerpt:

"Embryonic boy babies are exposed to a collosal dose of male hormone at the critical time when their brains are beginning to take shape. The male hormone levels then are four times the level experienced throughout infancy and boyhood. A vast surge of male hormone occurs at each end of male development: at adolescence, when his sexuality comes on stream, and six weeks after conception, at the moment his brain is beginning to take shape. But, as with the development of the rest of the body, things can go wrong. A male foetus may have enough male hormones to trigger the development of male sex organs, but these may not be able to produce the additional male hormones to push the brain into the male pattern. His brain will "stay" female, so he will be born with a female brain in a male body. In the same way, a female baby may be exposed in the womb to an accidental dose of the male hormone - we'll see later how this can happen - and end up with a male brain in a female body."

[jono]

36. Have you ever

gone to school specifically to study English? If so, where?

You are one of my favorite DU writers. I was just wondering if you've been schooled formally, or if yours is a natural gift.

(BTW, is it OK that I'm QYWNS (querying you while not straight))? ;-)

[Plaid Adder]

39. I have had plenty of schooling.

Saying more would make me identifiable to evil people.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[jono]

40. I understand

your concern. Can you tell me, were you an English major?

[Plaid Adder]

44. What, and ruin the mystery?

eom

The Plaid Adder

[jono]

45. Touché. (n/t)

[mitchum]

46. How do you feel about LUGs and BUGs?

Do you feel that they're just sort of "tourists of convenience"?

[Plaid Adder]

48. OK, what are LUGs and BUGs?

Clearly I am out of the loop on this one,

The Plaid Adder

[trof]

50. Little Ugly Girls and

Big Ugly Girls?
WHY was that the first thing to pop into my head?
I think I should go lie down awhile and put a wet cloth on my forehead.
;-)

[mitchum]

53. Lesbian Until Graduation and Bisexual Until Graduation...

a 90s collegiate thing...

[rbnyc]

55. I say let people have fun...

...and do what they need to do to discover what they really want out of life.

;-)

EDIT: Main reason for saying that is that if it weren't for LUGs and BUGs I'd have gotten laid a lot less in college. :evilgrin:

[Plaid Adder]

49. OK, our 45 minutes are up!

Hope this was edifying.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[trof]

51. ding!

[rbnyc]

52. I'm not straight...

...I'm just in a a straight relationship.

How do you feel about attitudes towards bisexuals and people of transgender experience within the gay community?

:)

[TrogL]

56. I get hassled more by gays than by straights

Apparently bi's aren't gay enough

[rbnyc]

59. I was working...

...at the LGBT Community Center on the day of the Gay Pride parade and somone came in with a paper fan that had a picture of the little dog from Legally Blond. It said, I can't even bark straight. He asked if I wanted one and I said, "Well, I'm bisexual, so I can bark either way." He said, "You're bisexual! What the hell are you doing here?"

I'm also married to an opposite sex partner and trying to get pregnant. Straights hardly ever ask me why it's important to me to identify as bi, but people in the queer community ask me that all the time. Not everybody, of course. I also get a lot of support and people who think that it's great that I'm a proud bisexual. Much of that support comes from people of transgender experience, but also many gays and lesbians get it, but so many don't get it. It's sad.

Of course, there are also heterosexuals who have said some awful stuff too. Like my husbands uncle who said that he didn't mind if someone was gay, but that bisexuals spread AIDS. :puke: I said, "I'm bisexual." And then he said, "Well, not you, you don't spread AIDS." And I said, "Why not?" He said, "Well, you don't mess around, and when you were dating you probably used condoms." So I said, obviously, :So, is it bisexuals who spread AIDS, or fooling around without condoms that spreads AIDS?" He actually took it very well, and he doesn't say stuff like that anymore.

[rock]

54. PLAID Adder and you expect me to believe you're gay?

Pull the other one.

[Not a robought]

57. If you come back, ummm.....

so what part of Lesbia are you from?

[Darth_Kitten]

58. What's a Plaid Adder?

:)

[AquariDem]

60. Have you ever been to Michfest?

I haven't. :(

[soleft]

61. why haven't you posted on my football thread

:shrug: