As I grow in age, I value older women

[trof]

Andy Rooney says,

"As I grow in age, I value older women
most of all. Here are just a few reasons why."
An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 50 give a damn what you might think about her.

An older single woman usually has had her fill
of "meaningful relationships and "commitment." The last thing she needs in her life is another dopey, clingy,
whiny, dependent lover!

Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera, or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Older women couldn't care less.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to
confess your sins to an older woman. They always know. An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Her libido's stronger, her fear of pregnancy gone.

Her experience of lovemaking is honed and reciprocal and she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her daughter could never dream of. (Young men, you have something to look forward to.)

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one.
Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning,
smart, well-coifed babe of 70 there is a bald, paunchy
relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some
22 year old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize for all of us. That men are genetically inferior is no secret. Count your blessings that we die off at a far younger age, leaving you the best part of your lives to appreciate the exquisite woman you've become, without the distraction of some demanding old man clinging and whining his way into your serenity."

[childslibrarian]

1. Wow

Thanks

[flamingyouth]

2. That's great

Thanks!:hi:

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

3. Nice. Ben Franklin had a few thoughts on the subject as well,

some of them rather racy.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

5. Sorry, couldn't resist but had to post this.

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

"Old Mistresses Apologue"
Letter, June 25, 1745

My dear Friend,

I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness. Your Reasons against entring into it at present, appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient.

But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:

1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lasting agreable.

2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do 1000 Servies small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.

3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much inconvenience.

4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of improvement.

6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.

7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young girl miserable may give you bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.

8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!

This much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your affectionate Friend.

[flamingyouth]

6. I love it!

What a wise man. :)

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

7. Ben Franklin would have to rank among the top few people EVER to

have a few too many beers with, or misspend a long weekend in Vegas. Oh but to have him on DU this year!

[MissMarple]

4. That is so sweet. Thank you.

:D

[pennylane100]

8. What a great post.

Thank you.

[miss_kitty]

9. well, as i grow in age

i BECOME an older woman

[VOX]

10. This is vintage Rooney. While not a relic yet, I used to be one of those

silly guys who would chase younger women. No offense to them (most of them simply haven't experienced enough of life yet), but it was an empty exercise nearly every time.

I wised up, and finally married in my own demographic. And yes, I'm very happy!!! :)