I'm finally done! Ask me anything about...cleaning

[eyesroll]

(until 3 p.m. CDT, or we hit too many posts for my work machine to handle -- after that, I'll get to your question later tonight.)

I write for a cleaning magazine. My stupid cover story is finally done. I'm now waiting...and waiting...and waiting...for the designer to finish so I can send the thing off.

So, if any of you have any questions related to cleaning (residential or commercial, the business side or the how-to side), ask away. I've got some time...

[trumad]

1. Yes...How do I make my Kids do it?

[eyesroll]

3. Do you mean pick up after themselves, or clean parts of the house?

It's different for both.

[trumad]

7. Both?

[eyesroll]

19. To get them to pick up their stuff--

Confiscate whatever they leave around, and sell it back to them.

To get them to clean the house -- let's say you want them to dust the living room. Hide stuff that they want -- a Best Buy gift certificate, concert tickets, a promise to go ice skating with them, whatever (how old are they?) -- in places they'll only look if they're actually cleaning (behind the books, under the plants, tucked in a corner). Let them know that these things will appear at random -- not every time they clean, but they never know.

Bribery is a great motivator.

[trumad]

29. Wow... I like the sell back option...

I could buy a 6-pack with the cash. ;-)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

2. If I clean naked, how can I minimize the risk of chafing?

[eyesroll]

4. If you're doing it right, you shouldn't have a problem

Vary your motions, and you shouldn't be repeating any action enough to have a problem, chafe, carpal tunnel, or otherwise.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

5. Ah. I thought I was going to have to go with saran wrap.

Nice to know I have an alternative.

[XNASA]

6. If you had to pick only one item to clean on a regular basis.....

What would that one item be?

[Magrittes Pipe]

15. I would suggest...

...your schlong.

[XNASA]

21. There's not enough Mr. Sparkle in the world.....

To perform that task on a regular basis.

[eyesroll]

20. The kitchen cutting board

That's one of the best ways to keep from getting sick.

Think about it -- people think the toilet's the germiest place in their house. Even if they haven't cleaned it in weeks, it's probably not.

[tedoll78]

8. Is there some sort of formula?

I clean, and clean, and clean once my partner leaves for work at 1am.

Then the house is perfect. So I relax for the other eight hours of his shift and then go to sleep.

When I wake-up at noon, the house is completely disheveled. Food left out on the counter. Dirt tracks on the tile. Crumbs on the kitchen floor. You get the idea.

So.. is there a formula to determine how long it takes a slob to ruin your hard work?

(nooo.. I'm not getting bitter or angry.. no..)

[eyesroll]

25. Your partner seems immune to the "clean syndrome"

Normally, when something's clean, we're inclined to do our best to keep it that way. If it's already messy, we make it worse.

I think your partner is just incorrigable.

[tedoll78]

33. I don't mean to vent..

but it's making me very angry towards him. We've been together for 8 years, and this is what angers me?! I told him that if he were to ever host his own cooking show, 1/3 of it would be taped on the floor - where 1/3 of the ingredients end-up. He's like the Swedish Chef having a seizure. And of course, it always has to happen 10 minutes after the floor is dry from my having mopped it. once it's a mess, he never goes in there. It's almost as though the cleanliness is inviting him.. calling out to him..

Aaaaargh!

[eyesroll]

34. I'm afraid this is a bit out of my league...

Plenty of people hire a cleaning service (if they can afford it) simply to solve the who's-cleaning-and-how argument, but it sounds like you've got different issues here. Passive-aggression, maybe? Is he sabotaging your work on purpose?

Like I said, though, out of my league. You may want to ask a relationship expert, not a cleaning expert.

[ScreamingMeemie]

9. How do I get shoe polish off the front porch steps...

? Sigh...don't ask. Thanks in advance for any help you may be able to provide. :hi:

[eyesroll]

27. You could paint over it, or try cleaning it up

Try dish soap first -- it's a good degreaser.
Otherwise, perhaps try a commerical degreaser -- go to an auto-parts store and get one there, designed for picking up oil stains.

Shoe polish is oil-based, so find a preparation that can take care of oil-based stains -- HOWEVER -- if you have paint on the steps whatever you use could strip the paint. Check the label.

[ScreamingMeemie]

35. They are just unpainted concrete. We tried Tide detergent and it got

off everything but the spill. Now MrG would like to use gasoline. I am not so hep on that. I could just love my daughter to pieces right now. :hi:

Thanks for your advice.

[eyesroll]

36. Gasoline is a good solvent, but (as you know) it has its drawbacks

Try the dish liquid; if it doesn't work, you also could try a commerical paint thinner. (Keep the kids and the dog off the steps for a bit after, even if you hose it down well, which you should.)

Good luck.

[Magrittes Pipe]

10. What color cleaner would make the best masturbatory lubricant?

Green? Blue? Purple?

[XNASA]

13. Dude. Everyone knows it's purple.

What kind of a stupid question is that?

I've heard that blue will do in a pinch, but I've got cases and cases of the purple stuff, so I never run out.

Who's gonna back me up on this one?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

16. That depends.

Where will your hands be?

[XNASA]

23. In the bucket.

[eyesroll]

22. Depends.

Using professional color-coding standards --

Green = Degreaser. Usually pretty safe, but may end up stripping the natural oils off of skin.
Blue = Toilet cleaner; acid. Don't try.
Purple = Window cleaner; alkaline. Don't try.

[Magrittes Pipe]

26. Can I mix blue and purple to make that delightful fizzy sensation?

[eyesroll]

28. If you've got a gas mask handy and you don't mind skin grafts,

sure.

Don't do it in my house.

[Beware the Beast Man]

11. I thought you wrote about toilets....

I ask because on that "What is your job" thread the other day, you made mention about writing a toilet trade publication. I'm in the toilet partition business myself :hi:

[eyesroll]

31. It's a bit broader than just toilets, but it's fun to say I write

about toilets.

Although toilets, urinals, urinal screens, urinal blocks, flush valves and so forth take up a disproportionate amount of my time...

Do you work for a manufacturer? Distributor?

[Beware the Beast Man]

37. I work for a manufacturer.

I can't really go into detail, but they're a canadian company. Anonymity and all that garbage. :)

[eyesroll]

38. Understood.

Partitions are really a step removed from my audience -- they clean them, but they don't buy them -- so I probably don't work with your company at all. :-)

[Magrittes Pipe]

12. Why 3? Are you leaving early?

[eyesroll]

18. No. Meeting. n/t

[fudge stripe cookays]

14. Can you head over around 5 to do mine?

:hi:

[eyesroll]

24. Fraid not.

Just because I write about it doesn't mean I do it well.
;-)

[fudge stripe cookays]

39. Spoilsport.

Oh well, it's probably just as well. I have half constructed Halloween props laying all over my house. And I do mean ALL over my house.

FSC

[sundog]

17. Is this where you post all your *clean* threads?

:evilgrin:

[eyesroll]

30. Maybe...

:evilgrin:

[sundog]

32. You're immaculate, baby... pure as the driven snow

O8)

[TNDemo]

40. I have a carpet cleaning question.

My son forgot to take his shoes off after working on the car and tracked oil and grease on my carpet. What is the best thing to get that out??

[eyesroll]

44. Again, find a carpet-safe degreaser

You may want to go with a commercial preparation -- Motsenbocker's Lift Off for Oil-based stains is one (available thru QVC and probably at some home stores).

[ElsewheresDaughter]

41. i'm cleaning-impaired...HELP i need a 12-step program...

would step 1 be: vaccum 3 generations of cat hair from the sofa?

[eyesroll]

45. Start small!

Decide you're going to clean for 15 minutes a day, then do it.

[Nay]

42. Actually, I do have a question about the business side of

carpet cleaning. If I wanted to start a carpet-cleaning biz, residential, that is, what sort of machines and/or cleaners should I buy? Or is there a franchise worth buying? Any advice is welcome -- I hate to rely on ads for any reliable info.

Thanks!

[eyesroll]

46. I'm not too into the residential market

Visit www.iicrc.org for a referral to training.

Also, check out Entrepreneur.com for some good franchises -- carpet cleaning is one area where a franchise may be worth it. (I'm not too big on franchises for commercial cleaning, or for house cleaning.)

[VoteDemocratic2004]

43. How do you get dirt off of the corner of a wall?

Is there a way of cleaning the wall without resorting to painting it?

Can you please suggest some ways of getting Cat Vomit stains off of carpeting.

[eyesroll]

47. Hm...

If regular carpet spotters or a dish-soap solution (1/4 teaspoon Dawn, 1 quart water) doesn't work...
Try an oxygen cleaner or a peroxide-based carpet cleaner (3% hydrogen peroxide solution, in water, works too) --test first in an inconspicuous corner of the room, in case it bleaches the carpet. (If it does, don't use it, and try a carpet cleaner designed

The Magic Eraser, I've heard, works wonders on walls. If it's been a few years since you painted, though, it may just be time.

[VoteDemocratic2004]

48. I will try the Magic Eraser

Thank you so much for the tips.

I have to wait until my management office decides to paint my apartment. I hate looking at the dirty part of the wall and I can't hang a painting over it because it's right on the corner of the wall.