A question.

[coloradodem2005]

A little over a year ago, I attended this 4th of July picnic that was hosted by a singles group. My mother went and listed me as a guest. She left and I hung out. The thing is, I got a little drunk and probably tried a little too hard and made some people uncomfortable. The thing is, as I was leaving, I questioned what I did, thinking that I probably acted like an idiot. A couple of weeks later, I got a message left on my machine by them asking me if I was interested in membership and if I wanted to come in for an interview. I finally got back to them a few days later and I set up the interview. The day that I was supposed to have the interview, I got a call telling me that they cancelled my interview with them. I asked why and they said because I made people uncomfortable at the picnic. I was sad. Angry at myself and to an extent, them. I was talking to my mother today on the phone and we are talking about hiking. She was telling me about this hike that the same group/organization was going to do next month. She is contemplating doing this hike. And contemplating taking me as a guest. At first, I said, "no, no, no." She said that the management is not even the same as it was a year ago, there is a lot of turnover with members, the people on this hike are not going to be the same ones who were at the picnic. And it was over a year ago. I would not even be considering this except, that I like to hike. THe question is if my mother goes and wants to take me as a guest, should I go?

[redqueen]

1. Yes, go!

We all have those incidents at least once (or a few times, in my case)... and chances are she's right and they'll be a mostly different group of people. Don't carry that baggage with you. Go, enjoy!

[coloradodem2005]

12. Then why aren't people more forgiving about that kind of thing?

n/t

[redqueen]

21. I dunno, really

That pecking order thing... it's innate in us I guess - the desire to pick on someone in a position to be picked on.

[Worst Username Ever]

2. Yep, go.

You can pre-empt any gossip by joking about your last encounter with the group.

[coloradodem2005]

3. I don't think that would work.

I wouldn't know how to do that. The other thing is, might they have a file on me from a year ago?

[sleipnir]

4. Um, why are using your mom to pick up singles?

Kinda odd, but hey, why not go and have a fun time!

[coloradodem2005]

6. I am not using my mom to pick up singles.

It is an activities group. She was there, I was not, and she was talking about making me a member because most of the members were closer to my age than hers.

[johnnie]

5. Sure..why not?

It's been a year, chances are most of those people hooked up with other people and won't be there. If there are some of the same people, then oh well, we all do goofy things sometimes.

[coloradodem2005]

7. Yeah, we all do goofy things.

And people, being the assholes that some of them are, don't hesitate to take people to the cleaners for the goofy things they do.

[johnnie]

13. True

I have had people do that to me before. Like I said though...won't most of the people from last year be gone?

[coloradodem2005]

15. I don't know.

They may be gone, they may not. But, might they have a file on me?

Do you think that what they did was too harsh?

[johnnie]

16. Well I guess that all depends

How bad was it really? It could have only been one person that felt uncomfortable and asked that you not be a member last year. If they called you first, at least someone wanted you to join. Do they have any meetings or anything that you can go to first? Check it out.

[coloradodem2005]

17. Well, during the call, they indicated that it was several people.

It was not a good day. That had to be my most colossal social disaster, bar none. Maybe, it was only a couple of people. But of course some of them wanted me to join. $$$$$. That's why.

[Lavender Brown]

8. If everyone was held back because of something that happened in the past

nobody would go out, ever. So why not go?

[coloradodem2005]

9. Because people are unforgiving.

THey also like hurting other people.

[Lavender Brown]

10. Try another hiking group or club then

If the people in this group are as petty and unforgiving as they sound, I guess it wouldn't be worth it to go.

[coloradodem2005]

11. I was talking about in general, people are unforgiving.

THough, I will say, there are people that have made me uncomfortable, but I forgave them.

[bigwillq]

14. I think you should go

It was a mistake and to a bit, ppor judgement, about what happened that day.

I think those people deserve to give you another chance.

Go show them that you have more to offer.

If they still, find you uncomfortable to be around, then maybe getting involved with that group is just not a good idea.

[coloradodem2005]

18. How do they deserve to give me another chance?

n/t

[bigwillq]

19. Because they're all human too

and I'm sure they have made a mistake like that one time or another and other people have given them another chance.

They need to give you another chance as well.

[Kat45]

20. I think you should go. Here's a thought:

You said: I got a little drunk and probably tried a little too hard and made some people uncomfortable. The thing is, as I was leaving, I questioned what I did, thinking that I probably acted like an idiot.

If any of the same people are there and they say anything to you or act weird toward you, you can tell them a variation of that sentence you posted and apologize. If the people are decent people, they'll understand and let it go because they'll know that's not your normal behavior. If they don't, they're not worth it. Just don't get drunk again. Since you enjoy hiking, just enjoy the hike and you'll probably end up talking to people as you're enjoying the same activity. And your mother is probably right about it being a lot of different people.