The Nutty Nightmare of all CAPTIONS!!!!

[skip fox]

After a breakfast of peanut butter and pancakes and jalaneno ice cream ("I can TOO. 'Cause I'm the president, that's why!"), W. has fallen asleep in the Oval Office and is having a nightmare, hearing Cheney address the nation: "And you'll never believe what else that shameless geek wanted to know: if we could stop the election if we were down in the polls and make up some legal reason or try to slip it into the Constitution when no one is looking and have Fox News tell everyone it was alright and even best for the nation. But I told him, 'Listen, Numbnuts, not even Fox would go for that.' Then he wanted to know if we could fix the voting machines by 'like sticking them full of bubble gum or something.' Do you believe that guy? Jesus . . . he even makes ME sick. I feel dirty just calling myself a fellow human being."

[bo44]

1. Now look creep I can only do so much with a medicated moron on the watch

The real minister of fear, blood for oil, and personal enrichment looking desperately in need of pimp slapping.

[regularguy]

2. "For instance, once at a party in the 70s we ran out of coke.

Geroge W. Bush stood up and said: 'Send me!' ".

[zbdent]

3. "Mission Accomplished . . .

Now all we have to do is convince America that Saddam was behind all these attacks pictured behind me . . ."

[cosmicdot]

4. in a disclosed undisclosed location, Dick rehearses his 'straight jacket'

exit speech ...

Dick speaking in monotonous tones with slight murmur:
so, when the signal is giving; they come for him; put him in a straight jacket; and the cameras will follow the white SUV as it takes him to Andrews ... gotcha ... now, when do you show the pre-prepared video where I take over ... I think it'll work, Karl ... it's the 'yes, he is an idiot and a moran like everyone is saying, and he's outta here'; Powell or some other hump like Rudy, Kyl, or Frist get on the ticket; and, we're the new product ... gotcha ... or, hell, we can just cancel the damn elections, I'm easy ...