My dad is dying and I'm probably going bankrupt, ask me anything

[NMDemDist2]

My dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last Feb that is in-operable and is now with Hospice. My folks divorced when I was 6 and he remarried and had another daughter who died at 26. Some thing happened (I'm not even sure what) after she died and Dad and I lost track for 10 years.

I finally called just after the diagnosis. I don't think I'll be able to see him alive again. He is so weak and sick that they (he and my step mom) don't want any company and I am respecting their wishes..

To add to the stress, my little company that has supported hubby and I since we both lost our jobs in the year after 9/11, has gone from bad to worse. I have gone from 7.5 employees to 1 and my gross receipts are down 70%

I offer services to corporate clients, who keep closing the sites and moving them overseas. I just can't seem to add more sites fast enough to counter the offshore exodus.

This week has sucked, but I'm hanging in there, so Ask Me Anything! :smoke:

[Padraig18]

1. I'm so sorry...

:hug:

[NMDemDist2]

7. thanks, but need questions and goofiness to keep from weeping

so gohead... ask me anything :D

[Padraig18]

10. How do porcupines mate?

:P

[NMDemDist2]

13. very VERY carefully

heheheh an oldie but goodie :evilgrin:

[Padraig18]

18. *grin*

:P

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

26. Another possibility:

S&M. :evilgrin:

[NMDemDist2]

29. ohhhh kinky porkypines hehehehe n/t

[Bunny]

2. Wow. I am sorry to hear this.

There's not much to say, other than take care of yourself. :hug:

[NMDemDist2]

16. thanks bunny

that I am... my spirts are OK most days, but it does wear on one....

[sbj405]

3. No question, just a hug

:hug:

Hang in there, AZDem.

[NMDemDist2]

17. thanks a bunch sbj

i will :) and I do...

[bigwillq]

4. Terrible news

Hope that smoke helps!!!

What are you smoking it in?

[NMDemDist2]

19. 12 years clean and sober

so tobacco only. Just glad i have a solid 12 program under my belt. It really does help take one day at a time :crazy:

[bigwillq]

25. Well enjoy the tobacco

Keep your head up. My thoughts are with you. You know you have all of us here at DU for support.

[NMDemDist2]

28. yup, that's why I started the thread

thanks again, and even "long distance" good vibes help :)

You all know me as the dem activist, voice of reason (snarffft)

thought i'd let you all in a bit more...

and thanks for being there :)

[Dookus]

5. I'm so sorry....

and I have no advice, just sympathy.

[NMDemDist2]

20. thanks dookus, no advice needed

it's just one of those things, ya know?

keep puttin one foot in front of the other and get thru it.

[indigobusiness]

54. Behold...

oops wrong place...I'm going to repost

[Swede]

6. Do you have kids?

I am so sorry to here this.

[NMDemDist2]

9. 3 dogs and a cat. Does that count? heheehe

hubby and I were discussing his family after he went to a reunion and decided we would be better parents than most of his siblings. But we chose not to go that route years ago and now I'm changed and he's fixed ROFL

[Swede]

23. Pets are family,I only realised this as I got older.

I probably knew this when I was small too,but in between then they were just animals.

[NMDemDist2]

38. they are a comfort

most days that is. I'll never have 3 again tho, wayyy tooo busy heheh

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

8. Hope that something positive happens in your life soon

Since it is obvious you are undergoing a very major transition.

Do you know QuickBooks? Only asking because that has been my saving grace in an uncertain economy. I've been able to get jobs at small businesses doing their books. Since one is a local MD and the other a pest control company, both with two employees, I don't think my job will be outsourced. Just a thought-hope it helps.

[NMDemDist2]

12. I use it in my biz too QB is OK

i did talk to my old boss yesterday and she thinks she may have some contract work for me again in marketing

Like I said, things are hanging in there and best of all my marriage is stable (lots of marriages get rocky in times like this) so I count my blessings every day :bounce:

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

22. I'm glad for you-and another question

have you ever heard of the Dances of Universal Peace? If there's a Dance circle in your area, you might wish to check it out. Dancers are very open and very welcoming. You do simple circle dances honoring the world's spiritual traditions. No membership, no pressure to do anything, but doing the Dances can make you feel better.

[NMDemDist2]

24. i love dancing

you know I think a trip to the vortexs of Sedona may be in order in the next couple weeks

thanks for that idea :D

[efhmc]

11. What a horrible, scary time. My only question is, do you have an

on hand support system? Computer hugs are great and I send you innumerable but the real thing and a good listening ear(s) are even better. I wish you better days, hon.

[NMDemDist2]

14. see post #12

yes I do and thanks

[RoadRunner]

15. That sucks, AZDem

Sorry to hear it. Hope things get better soon. :cry:

[NMDemDist2]

21. ya know RR "that sucks" sums it up very well

thanks!

[Mikimouse]

27. Very sorry, AZ...

Sounds like you've got a real bag full. If you need goofiness and humor, you came to the right place. I could give you a real good laugh just by sending the cats, but you're too far away. They do however, send you an electronic Meeeeooooooowwwww (pawing the screen while doing so)!

[NMDemDist2]

31. ohoh that gets the little sheltie going

she loves kitties (my poor old cat swacks her almost daily)

[Mikimouse]

49. Ooohhhh! I like Shelties...One of these days...

if I ever again own property, I will probably have a Shelty (and of course a dozen or so cats).:)

[NMDemDist2]

51. not sure i'd recommend one actually

she is part of our family now, but never again.

Hairy shedding stinky stubborn little miss she is.

don't get me wrong, she's my girl and i love her but this is not a breed i'd have again, unless i could find time or money for almost daily grooming. just MHO but is a small non hairy dog for me :shrug:

[Mikimouse]

55. Hmmm, hairy, shedding, stinky, stubborn...

sounds like you're describing my bunch.......Yaaaaaaaaaa! they caught me typing that last line.....back, back you wild animal!!! I'm being pummeled by clawless paws!!!! My house Pumas strike again!:evilgrin:

[NMDemDist2]

57. ROFL well then maybe a sheltie is just the ticket

:evilgrin:

[efhmc]

30. Have you heard these jokes and if so and you are a blonde simply

make this slight change: She was so republican that
- she thought TuPac Shakur was a jewish holiday
- she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
- she thought a quarterback was a refund
- she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
- she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center
- she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats
- under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics"
- she tried to drown a fish
- she tripped over a cordless phone
- she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate"
- she put lipsick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind
- she got stabbed in a shoot-out
- she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK"
- she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
- if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back
- they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade
- she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
- at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here"... she put "Sagittarius"
- she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store
- it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes
- if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless
- she studied for a blood test - and failed
- she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train
- she sold the car for gas money
- when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends
- when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved
- she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill
- when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead

[NMDemDist2]

34. argh I need to send those to a blonde friend

thanks for the list... :bounce:

[efhmc]

37. Hope it made you smile at least for a moment. Blessings.

[Mara Steele]

32. I'm so sorry, AZ.

I don't know what to say. It sounds like terrible times for you. I send you my utmost sympathy and best wishes for the future.

Please take care of yourself.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Mara

[NMDemDist2]

35. thanks so much

kind thoughts are much appreciated

I'm really doing OK most of the time, but some times are tougher than others ya know?

[Mara Steele]

39. I know...

Hang in there, get all the support you can... It sounds like a seriously hard time you're going through right now...

I wish for nothing but peace to you and yours... :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Cybergata]

33. Oh, poor dear

I can only send you wishes for better times. I can tell you that I've been through my share of really rotten times. It is true, things get better. I always try to view the really bad things that happen as learning experiences. I was amazed what I learned, and it made enduring them a little bit easier.

:hippie:

[NMDemDist2]

36. yes. Some life lessons are tough

just wonder why i need to be in the "accelerated" class right now :eyes:

[Auntie Bush]

48. Because you are soooo smart!!!!!!

For every bad thing that happens ...there's something positive. Your job now...is to find it and understand it. That should be easy for you because you are so smart and in the accelerated class.

I am a parent that got that 4:00 AM phone call that is every parent's nightmare. (That was 4 years ago Wed.) Believe it or not...lots of good came from it and if you keep asking what good can come from your experience...you will find something too. Count on it!
Think positive!

[NMDemDist2]

50. we (hubby and I) have done that

the dad thing is just Karma i fear. We have always been apart at the worst times. I'm just gonna have to deal with it..

re the $$ thing, it actually has been good. Hubby likes his toys and retail therapy. He has finally decided that he would rather be debt free than anything else in the world. and that is great with me

I don't need much (live simply so others can simply live is my motto) and I'm glad my partner has "seen the light"

it has also be a bonding in our marriage. after 10 years we were just kinda rolling along and this has brought us much closer as we realize that as long as we have each other, all other troubles will pass

so in every dark cloud there is that silver lining ya know?

[Cybergata]

52. I wish I could give you a big hug right now

I figured out the hippie Smilie immediately, and forgot about the other smilies. I just realized I can sort of give you a hug via the smilies.

:hug:

:grouphug:

[NMDemDist2]

58. awwww thanks!

:loveya:

[XanaDUer]

40. I am so sorry to hear about this

to use a cliche, it does seem that when it rains, it pours.

My thoughts with you and your family.

Here is my question:

I love your avatar. Did you design it yourself? It's really cool.

[NMDemDist2]

43. nope, is a "stock" avatar from DU

Zomby Woof claims he knows the lady who did it, so it's probably someone here

thanks for your kind thought too

funny about "when it rains..." we just had a severe T-storm alert come on the local TV too

[Cybergata]

53. Next door in New Mexico...

we have the same severe storm warning. I thought we were in a prolong drought stretch. Right now it looks like a typical Monsoon season in the Southwest.

:hippie:

[XanaDUer]

61. I think it would be a really cool T-shirt design too.

:hi:

[NMDemDist2]

73. me too, i bet you could get em made cheap

the design isn't too hard to create I wouldn't think

[flamingyouth]

41. How can I help you?

:hug:

[NMDemDist2]

44. just being there is all the help I need. This is one of those

situations where there is no "fixing" just having your kind thoughts and words are enough

You know what I mean don't ya FY? Sometimes you just got to talk about it right?

[flamingyouth]

46. Seriously, if you need to talk, send me a PM

I stay up late and I've got a shoulder for you. So sorry for what you're going through. When it rains, it pours - that is no lie. Sending you lots of love. :hug::hug::hug:

[NMDemDist2]

47. thanks so much

:hug:

[sadiesmom]

42. They are hiring at Mellon.com

They were outsourcing, but have come across a lot of issues that is making it too expensive, so they are hiring in Pittsburgh, New Jersey and Boston.
If this is good for you, go to their web site and search out a real job. Not that having your own business is not a real job. I meant a real boring 9-6 job.

Good luck

[NMDemDist2]

45. ROFL that's a hecka commute from Phoenix

and a real job will probably come soon enough :(

[indigobusiness]

56. Have faith

[NMDemDist2]

59. OMFG! i may have to convert to christianity for that

:evilgrin:

[indigobusiness]

62. Well, you have options

International distributor of premium quality, religious-themed cheese


I don't care if
the whole world freezes,
as long as I've got my
Cheddar Cheesus (TM)


Coming Soon
Swiss Cheesus
It's the Hole-iest



Port Wine Cheesus

and
The Gouda Buddha

[indigobusiness]

60. Actually, I was about to get all maudlin on you...

then I just veered off into a Wisconsin state of mind.

Change is often dificult and painful, but you are up to it and, surely, will weather it well.

[NMDemDist2]

66. yup, life happens ya know?

but the gouda budda looking good to me...

[indigobusiness]

72. Me, too...

Cheers!

[Zorra]

63. If ever I am sad and blue, and life seems like a turd,

I think about the joy I'll feel,
When i wake up November third.

Hope things go better for you sooner though.

[NMDemDist2]

67. yup, i hope that 11/3 is just the icing on the new cake

of my life :)

[yardwork]

64. I'm sorry, AZ. My father went pretty much the same way.

My mom had a stroke right before my father was diagnosed, and he died within weeks. All very unexpected, and we hadn't been getting along very well anyway.

I'm glad that you have the twelve step thing - so do I, and it is a huge help.

Look on the bright side - Shrub says the economy is rapidly improving! We'll all be rolling in the dough very soon.

[NMDemDist2]

65. Shrub sez....

ARGH i thought you were gonna try and cheer me up here ROFL

[UrbScotty]

68. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. (nt)

[NMDemDist2]

70. thank you very much n/t

[PopSixSquish]

69. I'm So Sorry

You'll be in my prayers.

:grouphug:

[NMDemDist2]

71. thanks, every good wish helps

thanks again :hug: