"Thirty-seven???" Post your favorite Clerks quotes here!

[Beware the Beast Man]

[aden_nak]

1. "I don't appreciate your ruse."

[Screaming Lord Byron]

2. Let's just cut straight to the gold.

'It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.'

[vi5]

3. What do you mean you don't have any ice?

You expect me to drink this coffee hot?

Cancer merchant! Cancer Merchant!

You buckle. Like a belt.

[GiovanniC]

4. Dante:

You get me slapped with a fine, you argue with the customers and I have to patch everything up, you get us thrown out of a funeral by violating the corpse, and then to top it off, you ruin my relationship. I mean, what's your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?

[GiovanniC]

5. And Also:

I'm caught right in the middle - torn between my loyalty to the boss and my desire to piss with the lights on.

Bonus Phrase: Oral bowel movement.

[Kid_A]

6. ".........." - Silent Bob

And the whole thing about independent contractors on the second Death Star is classic.

[NewHampshireDem]

7. "Yes, but I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic?"

:)

That, and the who bit about the "independent contractors" working on the Death Star ... that bit kills me!

[Beware the Beast Man]

8. "My love for you is like a truck, Berzerker!"

"Would you like some making fuck, Berzerker!"

"Did he just say making fuck?" :bounce:

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

11. Beat me by a minute!!!

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

9. My love for you is like a truck, Berserker

Would you like some making fuck, Berserker
My love for you is like a rock, Berserker

The Berserker is just so obscene
Likes evil people you know what I mean
He takes your soul and then just rips you apart
He'll steal your heart

Would you like to smoke some pot, Berserker
My love for you is ticking clock, Berserker
Would you like to suck my cock, Berserker
Would you like some making fuck, Berserker

[vi5]

10. "Did he just say making f*ck?"

"Yeah, that is some f*cked up sh*t".

I totally forgot about Berzerker.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

12. "What's up sluts?"

[GiovanniC]

13. Bunch of Savages in This Town.

n/t

[Beware the Beast Man]

14. Do you think the average Stormtrooper knows how to install a toilet main?

All they know is killing in white uniforms!

[vi5]

15. "There's nothing more exhilarating thant pointing out...

..the shortcomings of others, is there?"

"Hey are there any balls down there?"
.."Yeah, the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry!"