So what do you say to cell phoners using the world as a phone booth?

[Bossy Monkey]

Preferably something that might actually get them to stop (so "Shut the fuck up, you rude shitbox!", while satisfying might not be the ideal choice.) The last couple of times I went to the public library to write and to get my wino look perfected, some asshat decided to park himself within 10 feet of me and carry on a conversation at full voice or better with the ether. This time around, I went over and more or less said what's in the subject line ("Sir, I don't think this is a phone booth") but was undercut a) by the fact that I was so angry I couldn't keep my voice steady and b) by the cluelessness of a person so intent on his phone conversation that he didn't even pause for a second when being addressed by an actual person standing right next to him.

I would suggest standing as nearly as possible in front of the person, getting their attention, and asking as politely as possible that they either keep their voice down or step outside to make their phone calls. Apparently people bright enough to figure that they get their best reception when inside a building as near as possible to the windows (our public library has two sides that are nearly all windows) can't quite fathom that their voices are going to echo like mofos off those same windows. Unfortunately, therefore, I find myself unable to maintain calm long enough to offer reasonable suggestions and instead stomp off in order to prevent myself from shoving them over the railing for the long dive to the children's library. ("Can you hear me now? Gooooooooooooooooooooooood!")

I also appreciate that the library is a special case, and most times when you encounter an asshat blathering on a cell phone it will be someplace such as a mall where you wouldn't have as great an expectation of quiet, so my rant is probably a very special case. So forgive it please, but I'm still open to suggestions, and anyway if you can come up with a particularly gentle way to convey this message, maybe we can even try it out on the folks who carry out conversations apparently with themselves in restaurants, on the street, etc. Didn't we used to call these folks paranoid schizophrenics?

Edit: to close parentheses

[Feanorcurufinwe]

1. Don't wait until you are angry to say something.

Is the only advice I have. Anticipate your anger and speak up before it develops.

[Name removed]

2. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[libhill]

3. Shame be upon me

I must confess, that I have a bad habit of talking on my cell phone while driving. But I'll admit, that carrying on a phone conversation in the library is pushing the envelope.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

16. As long as you can multitask it's okay

I've had a few close calls where I was nearly hit by drivers yaking on their cell phones.

[Bossy Monkey]

18. Probably safe enough if you have a hands-free headset

If not, you might consider getting one.

[Westegg]

4. One rude cell phoner almost caused my death today...

I was walking east on 8th Street towards Fifth Ave., right ahead of a lady who was practically YELLING on her phone about how she was on her way to her shrink and all the things she was going to tell him, etc. It was unbearable, so I sped up. I knew I had to make the light at 5th or else I'd be stuck on the curb with her and her yapping. I did not make the light, but was determined to cross anyway to get the hell away from her. A taxi nearly creamed me. Man, I was ticked off. I WISH I knew the right thing to say in such a situatiuon but it's a skill I haven' t yet perfected. Frankly, I'm annoyed that I have to confront total strangers on the street in the first place. I mean, where have manners gone? Keep it to yourself, sister.

[Feanorcurufinwe]

13. I hate to break it to you

but she didn't almost cause your death, you did.

Do you really think that people walking down the street in midtown Manhattan have an obligation to speak softly when they are talking on their cell phones? It's rude to talk loudly in Manhattan? :wtf: And whether she was rude or not, she isn't responsible for your decision to walk in front of a speeding taxi.

[Radical Activist]

5. my public library has a sign

telling people to take cell phone coversations outside. Maybe you could suggest that to the head librarian.

[Stew225]

6. These people that seemingly think that

talking on a cell phone is in some way kewl, are really assholes. Of course, in public they have to talk loud on the phone.

I think the mature thing to do if confronted by one of these public cell phone people is to hit them with a piece of baloney.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

7. Something I've done a couple of times....

....is scare them with how much personal information they've revealed.

"Your kids go to MLK Elementary, huh? That's the school over on Main Street, right? Do they like it there?"

"You see Dr. Brown? The one over by the Barnes and Noble? Has he helped you with your problems?"

"I'm sorry, I only got the last six digits of your social security number. Can you repeat the first three again?"

"Your doctor is refilling your Augmentin for you? They use that to treat the clap, right?"

They turn white in horror. Never fails to teach a lesson.

[Bossy Monkey]

10. LOL! Welcome Walt Whitman! n/t

[New Dem]

12. i'm going to try that ! n/t

[izzie]

8. Not a thing. When they see how foolish they are they will stop.

Course I said the same thing when 20 pounds over weight women wore string bathing suits and they are still doing it.

[asthmaticeog]

9. I once got a call at the library.

I was utterly mortified that I'd left it on! To my extreme relief, the place was dead and there was nobody else there to hear the ring. Silence at the library, you just don't mess with, unless you're a fire alarm. I've never forgotten to turn the thing off on entering a library or movie theater since.

[xchrom]

11. i hate them in restaurants

it's so unbelievably tacky -- you're sitting at table with other friends and chatting on your cell phone...blech.

[Unperson 309]

14. I talk to them as if *I* was the one they were speaking to!

In the store,
guy on cellphone: "So what do you want me to buy for Johnny?"
Me: "Get him the Campbell's Noodle Soup and some milk!"

On the street:
Woman on cellphone: "So he said to me he was going to buy the car!"
Me: "Did he try the dealer I recommended? He'll get a better buy!"

In the event that the idiot yakking into the ear-tit *does* react (they don't often!) just look all innocent and "Oh... I thought you were talking to me!"

Stops 'em dead!

309

[2Design]

15. they are something when they are walking around b and n and loudly

talking about their business.....

[BiggJawn]

17. I enter into the conversation.

"I'm tellin' ya Martha, that doctor's hands were so cold.."

"Want me to warm ya up a lil', Hon?"

(icy stare) "Uh, I'll call ya back, Martha, I got some pervert eavesdropping"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought since you were yelling into that thing, it was 'audience participation time'..."