Silly jokes

[SoCalDem]

LEPROSY
Q: Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy?
A: He did all right until his business fell off.

VIRGINS
Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
A: They can't stand criticism.

JUDGING THE SIZE
A woman sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she
found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her,
and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these short-
term relationships. "Isn't there some way to judge the size of a
man's equipment from the outside?" she asked. "The only foolproof
way, is by the size of his feet," counseled the therapist. So, the
woman went downtown and proceeded to cruise the streets, until she
came across a young fellow standing in an unemployment line with the
biggest feet she had ever laid her eyes on. She took him out to
dinner, wined and dined him, and then took him back to her apartment
for an evening of abandon. When the man woke up the next morning,
the woman had already gone but by the bedside table was a $50 bill
and a note that read, "With my compliments, take this money and go
out and buy a pair of shoes that fit you."

THIRD GRADE
Q: A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who
has the biggest boobs?
A: The blonde, because she's 18.

ONE FOOT
On the night of their honeymoon, a newlywed couple had an
unfortunate accident, resulting in the amputation of the groom's
left foot. Unable to control her grief, the bride called her mother
from the hospital. "Mother," she sobbed, "My husband has only one
foot." The mother, trying to console her daughter said, "That's all
right dear, your father has only six inches."

BIRTH CONTROL
Q: Did you hear about the woman who confused her Valium with her
birth control pills?
A: She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.

ZIPPERS
Q: What's the difference between a woman's zipper and a man's zipper?
A: When a woman unzips her pants, her brains don't fall out.

CHEERLEADER
Q: What happened to the blonde cheerleader when she did the splits?
A: Twenty class rings fell out.

DOG TRAINING
There is a guy who has a dog that doesn't obey him. Then he sees an
ad in the paper for a great dog trainer. So, he decides to go to the
dog trainer and get his dog trained. The guy walks in the room and
asks, "Can you train my dog, and are you a good trainer?" The
trainer replies, "Well, I can train your dog, and I will give you a
demonstration of how good I am." He dumped a box full of bones on
the floor and blew a whistle. The first dog came in and made a
skeleton with the bones. "Wow!" said the guy, "What kind of dog is
that?" "That's a nurse's dog," said the trainer. Then he blows the
whistle again and a second dog comes in the room. That dog makes a
big building. The man says, "Wow, what kind of dog is that?" "That's
an architect's dog," replies the trainer. Then the trainer blows the
whistle again and a third dog comes in. That dog takes the bones,
screws the other two dogs and runs away. "Wow, what kind of dog is
that?" says the man. "That's a lawyer's dog!"

MIKE
Q: Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
A: Mace will do that to you.

RABBI
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo!"

BIKINIS AND FENCES
Q: How is a bikini like a barbed-wire fence?
A: It protects the property without obstructing the view.



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[Maddy McCall]

1. In response, a scary thing...