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TOP TEN ALTERNATE USES FOR THAT "10 COMMANDMENTS" MONUMENT!

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WillyT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-28-03 11:24 AM
Original message
TOP TEN ALTERNATE USES FOR THAT "10 COMMANDMENTS" MONUMENT!
Sorry for the caps, I just cut and pasted from Malloy's site. He read this on the air last night from an e-mail, and I thought ya might enjoy it. I particularly like #7:

****************************************************************************

10. Flip it over and use it as an altar upon which to perform sacrificial blood offerings to SATAN!

9. Slowly lower it on top of that idiot preacher who suffocated 8-year old, autistic Milwaukee boy Terrance Cotrell to death last week by sitting on his chest during an impromptu "exorcism." The same horrific fate should befall any other member of that ridiculous Christian coven who was stupid enough to take part.

8. Cornerstone for a brand-spanking-new abortion clinic!

7. Put it in an overgrown field with an outhouse, a rusted out Cadilac, an abandoned refrigerator and voila! REDNECK STONEHENGE!

6. Paperweight for God's legal briefs in the upcoming post-Armageddon sentencing trials.

5. Use it as ballast on the converted cruise ship where Preznit Dubya will have to live in exile, because - after his removal from office and the subsequent investigations, trial, and horrific revelations of criminal conspiracy on a barely-imaginable scale - no other country on earth will be willing to take him.

4. Auction it off on e-bay and use the proceeds to help pay for upgrades to Alabama's crumbling and antiquated infrastructure.

3. Convert it into two tons worth of marble floor tiles for a gay homosexual bathhouse.

2. Use it as a tombstone for Charlton Heston once he finally kicks the bucket.

1. Take a sand-blaster and scour away the commandments, then replace them with the First Amendment, which reads: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances." That has a helluva lot more to do with the law of the land than whether or not you get along with your folks, work an extra shift on a Sunday, or say "Godamn!" when you stub your toe.

****************************************************************************

:evilgrin:

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meegbear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-28-03 11:26 AM
Response to Original message
1. "a gay homosexual bathhouse"?
Edited on Thu Aug-28-03 11:26 AM by meegbear
as opposed to a sad heterosexual one?
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WillyT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-28-03 11:46 AM
Response to Reply #1
4. LOL, Didn't Catch That The First Time Around !!!
Nothin worse than a sad heterosexual bathhouse!

:hi:
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Gman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-28-03 11:29 AM
Response to Original message
2. While well intended,
I don't find it particularly humorous. #1, though is exactly what should happen.
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LearnedHand Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-28-03 11:42 AM
Response to Original message
3. Damn!
Edited on Thu Aug-28-03 11:43 AM by nm3damselfly
I KEEP MISSING the liberal talk shows! This is hilarious! Wish I'd heard it, but thanks for posting it here!

:toast:

P.S. Got link?


On edit: added P.S.
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KCDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-28-03 11:51 AM
Response to Original message
5. those are funny!
Thanks for a laugh! :hi:
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WillyT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-28-03 12:17 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. After Malloy Read #7, He Could Barely Get Through The Rest Of The List !!!
He was crackin up so much!!!

:bounce:
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ElsewheresDaughter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-28-03 12:33 PM
Response to Original message
7. bush headstone?
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WillyT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-28-03 01:38 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. LOL...'Thou Shalt Not Fuck With Democracy!!!'
:evilgrin:
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TXlib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-28-03 03:40 PM
Response to Original message
9. How about giving it to a church, where it will be appreciated?
I don't have a problem with the 10 commandments (with the exception of the bits about other gods and graven images, it's not much other than the golden rule), nor with the monument itself.

Now that it's out of the courthouse, I consider it offensive no more.

I see no need to create further outrage.
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Blue_Chill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-28-03 04:00 PM
Response to Original message
10. ...
Ha....ha...so....funny.......
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