What's Your Most Humiliating Injury Story?

[Unperson 309]

Most humiliating injury for me was the day I fell flat on my fritter after "showing off" how well my back surgery had succeeded!

I was in a restaurant with friends about a month after my laminectomy. I was boasting about how well I had healed and how limber and lithe I was. As we walked through the entryway into the dining room area, I didn't notice a step and WHAP! I sprawled face first onto the elegant red carpeting!

The humiliating part was the way everyone (including the waitstaff) rushed to my aid, clucking over me "Are you all right? Oh, you poor dear!" when all I wanted to do was quietly crawl under the draperies and perish in a little dustball! Someone actually asked "Should I call an ambulance?"

N-nooooooo! Turned out I had wrenched my back again... but nothing permanent. Just to my pride.

What was your most embarrassing injury or fall?

309

[DarkPhenyx]

1. Had sex with the woman on top and...

...pulled something. I couldn't walk afterwards and she had to get help.

[chicagojoe]

33. In a similar sexual situation...

... the woman was on top, she got kinda wild, I slipped out,and when she came back down onto me my unit got sprained. NO JOKE !
I required medical attention, and I was in pain for a few weeks.

[neuvocat]

2. Cutting myself with a machete

I was trying to cut down a small tree and it hit my knee. I felt no pain, just some cool blood trickling down my leg. How embarassing.

[truhavoc]

3. When I was 5 I was playing "tag" with lawn darts...

and I happened to get one stuck in the top of my head..and the worst part was my ER doctor was the father of a girl in my 1st grade class...so everyone found out! Boy I was a bright young one! lol

[Madrone]

14. YOU!!!

YOU are the reason children everywhere are now deprived of the outdoor frolicking and summer fun that IS lawn darts!! x(

You owe all of humanity an apology, mister!


:D

[truhavoc]

16. Actually I can only be blamed for the loss of....

the "metal tipped" lawn darts lol, last I checked they are made out of some sort of plastic! :evilfrown:

[SoCalDem]

41. We still have our "Jarts".. In the original box too.. Want to buy them??

:)

[TlalocW]

4. In middle school

I tried to do a one-and-a-half off of the high dive at the pool to impress a girl I liked. I did a one-and-a-quarter and belly-flopped so hard it set the surface of the water on fire. I had to go to the boy's restroom and curl into a fetal position for a while.

This was the same high dive that I apparently fell off of when I was in grade school. I say apparently because I don't remember it since I was knocked out. Had a nice big lump on my forehead for a long time too.

TlalocW

[northofdenali]

5. I have a knee that goes out on me occasionally

from an old gymnastics injury. Walked into a very crowded bar, approached a bar stool, went to climb up it and the knee just quit.

Landed on my butt in front of everyone and hadn't had a damn drink yet! :P

[texas1928]

6. My most embarrassing injury

I ran over my own fingers with my wheelchair.

and not the air type wheels but with the hard rubber hospital type.

[Dookus]

7. When I lived in SF

some of my friends worked at the bowling alley at the end of Haight Street, so we'd always hang out there. One night, they let us in for a private event. We sat in the bar and minded our own business.

The event was a private party for Carole Shorenstein-Hayes, one of the bigwigs in SF. I moved down to the end of the bar and tried to crawl up on the stool. As I did, the stool slipped out from under me, and I landed flat on my back and slid a few feet as legendary columnnist Herb Caen was walking by.

Thankfully, I didn't make the papers.

[Unperson 309]

19. The Alley Near the McDonald's and GG Park?

I used to *haunt* that area! Ate lunch at Escape From New York pizza, bought pet goodies at Animal Crackers on Stanyan Street!

If you ever bought pet goodies from a lady there, you've MET The Missus! :D

I did end up in one Herb Caen's last columns (about six to eight months before he died, IIRC) but I'll NEVER tell ya which one or what!

My lips are SEALED!

309

[Dookus]

22. yup

Park Bowl. That's the spot!

Don't know the pet place you refer to, though.

[Unperson 309]

25. It's Outta Business, Now.

It folded around 1998, I think.

It was (I think) at 780 Stanyan, across from the Kezar Stadium in GG Park. Nearest cross streets, Waller and Stanyan.

Anyway, we left The City in 96.

309

[Dookus]

yeah...

I heard it was gone. I left SF in '88 or so.

[Unperson 309]

31. Did you used to shop there?

It was a great little store, providing lots of variety in pet care products.

There's a whole story behind its demise. Even though it didn't fold until 1997, it was a direct casualty of the Loma Prieta earthquake. Tch!

309

[Dookus]

26. yeah...

I heard it was gone. I left SF in '88 or so.

[greatauntoftriplets]

8. I yawned and dislocated my jaw.

Ended up in emergency. After three attempts, a doctor got it pushed back to normal. Ouch!!!

[NJCher]

9. some days you can't win for losing

I'd been drinking and decided to go out to dinner but I stumbled and twisted my ankle. Being tipsy, I decided I'd go out to dinner on crutches. On the first step with the crutches, I broke the toe on my other foot.


Cher

[tech3149]

10. How could I choose with so many

crashing my car into a tree demonstrating rally driving techniques...

or skateboarding down a parking garage while totalled and breaking my wrist?

or falling 40 ft out of a tree on my dumbass (NO INJURY...GO FIGURE?)?

or doing airborne manouvers off the front of a Ford while watching the girl behind me? bad time much pain many years to get over it

or throwing away a 29 year relationship for a stupid job? (not sure when I'll be over that one)

[welshTerrier2]

11. my left sneaker ...

there i was, a little over a mile from home on my daily jog ... there was no denying the "pop" ... i had badly hurt my achilles tendon ... i could barely walk ...

the choice? take a shortcut thru the woods or stick to the road ... i opted for the shortcut ... unfortunately, i had forgotten that the shortcut forced me to cross a small stream that was about 6 feet across ... it was near the end of winter so the stream was very cold but not frozen ...

i stood on the bank trying to decide whether to turn back and take the street home or try jumping over the stream ... i didn't think i could handle going back to the road ...

i backed up about fifteen feet to get a running start ... i planted my left foot just at the edge of the water and then went airborn over the stream ... i just barely cleared the other bank ... talk about coming thru with a big jump in the clutch ...

when i looked down to see where i had landed, my right sneaker had just cleared the edge of the stream by about an inch ... and then i noticed the problem ... my left sneaker had embedded itself in the mud right where i had planted my foot for takeoff ...

i had to walk back across the stream to retrieve my left sneaker ...

[no_hypocrisy]

12. I tore my knee falling off a chair in order to prevent a 300 lb. file

cabinet from falling on top of me at work. My boss didn't offer to drive me to the hospital or call an ambulance. Instead he blithely asked me if he could get me anything, a cold drink perhaps? I shot back that I wanted whiskey and right away. The pain was excruciating. I took 2 oz. of Chivas Regal in order to get off the floor into a chair and eventually hobble to the elevator, across the parking lot, to my car, where I drove 15 miles to the doctors office (BTW the car was a stick and it was my left knee.)

[bandagainstbush]

15. Damn..

Is your boss the guy from Fight Club with the corn-flower blue tie?

[no_hypocrisy]

17. No, just a wannabe Scarecrow ("If I Only Had a Brain . . . " )

P.S. Welcome to D.U.
P.P.S. Thanks, you made me laugh.

[Interrobang]

13. Sprained my nose...

Was going upstairs in the middle of the night to fetch some medication to put on my excema on my foot, then, when coming back down to my bedroom, tripped on a card table my mom had leaned up against the wall (which I was using to help navigate by), and fell flat on my face. I drove the nail of my little finger into the bridge of my nose when I went down. Wound up with a large, crescent-shaped cut on my nose, two black eyes, and a swollen nose.

That was the Friday before the Thanksgiving weekend. At the university at which I did my undergraduate degree, the short week after Thanksgiving was "Battered Women's Awareness Week," so (female) I had to walk around with a face like a tropical sunset, hence the humiliation. I couldn't even *say* that I'd fallen!

[BiggJawn]

18. Learning how to operate "clipless" pedals....

First time out with them, and I thought I had gotten the hang of them, so I hit the streets. Came to a stop sign where the town marshal was sitting. OK, so I guess I'd better stop instead of blowing the sign in finest "Racerboy" style....Oh shit! How do you get OUT of these things?

I fall down.

I think "That wasn't too bad, at least the cop's gone..." pick myself back up and notice that my sock is feeling wet.

Put a 5" slice in the side of my calf that took 5 buterflies to close up and took almost 6 months to finally close completely....Got a dandy looking scar. Feh upon your "Chainring tattoos" Mine's FOREVER!

[ze_dscherman]

38. A clip pedal did it to me

I tried to cross a creek wit my bike (my girlfriend behind me) when I got stopped by big stone that was hidden in the water. I could not get out of my pedal, so my girlfriend had the hilarious view of me oh so slooowly falling sideways into the water, with my full gear.

I didn't think it funny, because another rock bore deeply into my shinbone. Made a nice scar.


Some time before two chatting women blocking a bikelane through a park ignored my bell. When trying to drive around them my bike got stuck in deep mud. I could not get out of my pedal then as well - the fall was slow and the landing very soft, so it only hurt my pride. ;)

[bubblesby2002]

20. There are a few, but it took me a while to live this down.

I Was invited to a wedding by a boy I had a big crush on and wore a brand new dress that was a little snug. So I didn't eat before the wedding. I was a little nervous going out with this guy and so I had just a teensy bit too much scotch before dinner and too much wine with dinner.

My head was spinning when I decided to go to the ladies room and on the way thought a walk outside would help clear my head. But no - it just made my head spin even more.

I though I would be unobtrusive if I went between two parked cars in the lot close to a ditch and discreetly was ill. But I cleaned myself up as best as I could and just as I was about to get the date found me. I turned quickly to get up and I did a header onto the asphalt, cut my eye and almost knocked myself out. He had to take me home and bandage me all up.

Funnily enough we dated for a year after that.

[neoteric lefty]

21. When I was 5, I fell of my couch taking a nap

and broke my collar bone. I was brittle back then :)

[MidwestMomma]

23. A grown woman, a slip-n-side and gravity

Not a pretty picture. I really did believe that I was going to slide down that slip-n-side. Took off running, threw myself on the slide and went NOWHERE. Knocked the wind and ALL my pride out of me.

And this in front of the whole family. I have never heard the end of it and at any family gathering all anyone has to say is 'slip-n-slide' and the whole room whoops it up. :D

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

24. It involves Soy Yogurt

This is probably a good reason of why you shouldn't be under the influence of substances while at work. I worked at a health food store doing orders. Tuesday nights were our big party night and we had an order that came in at 6am. So there were quite a few times where we were still under the effects of whatever had been ingested the night before. My manager was basically okay with this. She's really cool and operated under the view of, "if you show up and you can do you're job then good. If you can't do those things then, bad." We showed up and we were damn good at what we did.

So anyway, it was one of those coworker & I were still drunk mornings. The first things to go away are the perishables, so we were not at our sharpest yet. I was stocking the yogurts that morning. I put one soy yogurt too many on the top shelf. It fell, just as I was looking up. It managed to completely split my lip. It wasn't too bad at first, but a few days later it looked like I had herpes. It was just in time for the weekend. I was pretty bitter, because I couldn't go out clubbing looking like I had herpes.

And THAT my friends is why you don't stock soy yogurt drunk.

[HEyHEY]

27. Dislocated my shoulder snowboarding while trying to impress a girl

It was all capped of with a very unmanly scream

[hrhdeb]

28. Had a chair collapse at starbucks

I was meeting with my Rabbi. I sat down on my chair at starbucks, the chair collapsed. I landed on the floor in front of my Rabbi, in a skirt, with my legs open. I just about wanted to die.

[guitar man]

29. Oh Gawd

I guess I'll tell this one then.

It was about 15 years ago. My biker buddy Smokey(RIP)and I were overhauling the engine on my bike over at his place. We got to a point where we needed parts, it was Saturday and we weren't going to be able to get them before Monday,so we did the only thing we could and started drinking beer, and lots of it.

Mrs Smokey wisely collected all the car keys and headed out for the afternoon. we asked her to bring back some more beer, but realized we were running out fast and would be dry long before she got home.


Smokey had this old chopper he had built out of a 45 cu. in Army bike, WLA if I remember right. Anyway, he had a cast on his leg, so we decided I would take the chopper and mosey on down to the 7-11 which was about 3 mi. away to get some beer. The one thing he forgot to tell me was that he had used a Servi-car transmission on the bike,which has a reverse gear. It just had a little jockey shift with an 8-ball knob, so there was really no way to know the reverse was there unless you looked at the transmission real close.

So, I jump on the bike, kick it until it fires up, manage to put it in reverse and propmtly back through the front door of the house. In the process, the door breaks in half and the top half comes down and gashes my head open. The bike and I wound up wedged in the doorway with the remnants of the door, blood running all down my face.

When Mrs Smokey returned,much earlier than we had anticipated, she found her drunk, broke leg husband trying to extract me and the bike from the doorframe and debris. We thought we were toast, but I guess the sight of us got the better of her funny bone and she wound up on the ground laughing at our dumb asses.

She got up and bandaged my head and helped me get the bike out of the doorway. She had brought some beer back, so Smokey and I continued drinking as we patched up the door.

[guitar man]

30. BTW

That was far from the worst bender ol Smokey and I ever pulled, but I'll never tell about those :evilgrin:

[nickgutierrez]

32. Ankle sprain while jumping.

Not that unusual except for the fact that I didn't hurt myself on the landing. I hurt myself on the takeoff. It's a 'high' ankle sprain, and it won't @#$%^&* go away. It must have been four or five months ago when I first had it happen, but I can't shake the damn thing now.

[REP]

34. Dislocated My Arm Gesturing

Not gesturing wildly or anything; just normal conversation gestures. Pulled it clean out of the socket.

I also nearly severed my thumb adjusting an old-fashioned stand fan. That injury was horrific enough to gross out the ER trauma doc in a large city ER. Didn't hurt, though, since I had severed the nerves.

[arwalden]

35. Taking A Shortcut Down A Steep Wooded And Overgrown Hill...

... instead of sticking to the gently sloping and winding, zig-zagging path is a recipe for disaster. --- One mis-step and I fell head first down hill... through the brush, twisting and scraping my leg and ankle... only to be stopped by an IMMOVABLE and very hard tree. (That was over a week ago, and I still have bruises and scabs as evidence of my folly. Ouch!)

It absolutely RANG MY BELL... I was too stunned to move or stand up. All I could manage was to moan in pain while I cupped my hand over my bleeding ear and cheek. I have ABSOLUTELY NO TOLERANCE for the sight of blood (especially my own) and even though in reality my wounds were small, the amount of blood I saw led me to believe that I would need to have my ear reattached.

Adding to my embarrassment was the fact that I'm usually the one to tell the kids at the campground to quit running and quit horsing around.

So let that be a lesson to you. Stick to the path. Steep shortcuts are dangerous. Always pack a first-aid kit in your camping gear.

On the bright side... there was NO poison ivy.

-- Allen

[testing123]

36. Doing the splits in the grocery store

Christmas Eve one year I was running around in the produce isle and I slid and did the splits on a piece of lettuce. I will never forget it because I have never done the splits before in my life.

Last summer I was wearing flip flops in the grocery store and I slipped on some water or pop in the floor and I went up in the air and back down and my dress was up around my waist. Let's just say I died of embarrassment and I got the hell out of the grocery store as fast and I could.

[LynneSin]

37. I tripped over a tombstone while blindfolded and dressed as bugs bunny

NOT KIDDING YOU, I still have the scar!

I had to get 4 stitches for that little manuever. It was hell night for my sorority and our theme was cartoon charcters. My big sister picked Bugs Bunny for me and I made this great costume. Bought a giant size piece of grey fur that I could fold and half, sew the sides and put overtop of me as a mini dress. Sewed white fur in the front of it, grey pantyhose and these old grey shoes I had from High School. I looked adorable.

At one point we were in the local graveyard and we were all blindfolded. I had to find Daffy Duck based on the directions my big sister yelled out to me. They were pretty good except the one tombstome had these 'wings' sticking on the side of it. I tripped over it and had to go to the school doctor to get 4 stitches put in it.

I still finished hell night. But on my right shin still stand the small scar from my adventures

[underpants]

39. Busted open my knee at a mountain bike race (17 staples) I was walking

Snowshoe Mountain-24 hours of Snowshoe 6 years (geez was it six years) ago. Yes I had been drinking but no I wasn't DRUNK. My buddy and I went looking for a friends tent, we were walking along the course (day before the race) on flat ground, my foot slipped off a rock and my knee got completely busted open. You could see everything but no actual damage was done other thant the skin splitting apart. Some drug addled medic stapled it up and did such a horrible job (they were out of guaze the next day) that I had to go to a hospital a week later and get it stitched up.

[Cats Against Frist]

40. They were selling carnations for a charity on campus

and the seller invited me to "drop by" the table. Little did I know that this was a plot to get me to come by, so he could give me a flower. There were about six people in line, when I walked up to the table. Three colors they're selling -- white, pink and red -- and you know what that means. He reaches in to get me one and is sort of anxious (he was such a cool guy, though) -- I get embarrased, can't go through with it. I decide that since I'm parked illegally, that I'm going to run out to the car and either re-park it and come back or flee.

Since this was in a university building, there were some waist-high handicap bar things near the door, that I had forgotten that I had walked around -- and was now situated behind me. When I turned to run, of course, I completely ran into the bar -- went OVER the bar, until my fingertips touched the ground. In pain and SEVERE embarrassment -- I pushed myself up and proceeded to run out the door, pushing and pushing very hard on the space BETWEEN the two sets of double doors.

It was terrible. The people were laughing. I'm sure the boy was like what an idiot.

I don't think it stopped him from loving me, though. Of course, I was young and too stupid not to realize that I SHOULD have been interested. He's number three on the list of top 5 guys that I turned down for a date that I wish I could take back.

Anyway, it was painful and humiliating.