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He is a childhood friend and the lover of my best friend. So while I can't write him off, I just usually ignore him or say, "Oh, really? That's nice, dear...." I've been quiet lately so he has been sending me jokes. This is our earlier discussion:
Him: Subject: Bear On a tour of Alaska, the pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains for some sight seeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" T-shirt, and a tree hugger Hat, was struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the jaws of a 10 foot grizzly. As the pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding semiconscious Democrat from the bear. Then using long clubs, the three loggers beat the bear to death and hauled it to their truck. Immediately the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between loggers and environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that that is not true." As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that?" "It was the Pope," another replied, "he's in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom." "Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all God's wisdom, but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting..... By the way, is the bait holding up okay or do we need to go back to town and grab another one?"
Me: That was a good one.
Him: Yes, it was, wasn't it.
Me: What I really liked about it was, it showed the Republicans to truly be the mindless, male-oriented, peace-hating mf'ers they are, and indicates that should we remain with the current regime, we can all expect to be treated like that poor Democrat -- used as bait for their darker pursuits. I think our men and women in uniform are like that right now, actually -- and what a pity it is.
By the way, Democrats are sexy. Who ever heard of a good piece of elephant??
Him: Yes, well, as much as I dislike draft dodger Dick C. & noting how Dubya has fumbled the ball, I daresay that COMRADE KERRY will take us even deeper into debt & destruction; but of course, he does greatly resemble a long faced DONKEY & while a piece of elephant would no doubt be yucky, the majority of today's DEMOCRATS (not to be confused with the Democrat that I & others of my generation were) but rather the current crop of LYING, LIBERAL, PINKO, HOLIER THAN THOU, SELF SERVING, SANCTIMONIOUS SOCIALISTS, COMRADE COMMIES would probably confuse A PIECE OF ASS with the main course of a redneck picnic; BAR-B-Q MULE. Ha!
Me: OK - so you don't care for your fearless leaders. So how will you vote? Or won't you even vote?
And you have his answer.
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