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A poem dedicated to Ronnie Raygun (who is still deader than a herring.)
STOP reading now if you are offended by language or strong emotion!!!
Dancing on the Grave of a Son of a Bitch: (for my motorcycle betrayer)
Diane Wakoski
God damn it, at last I am going to dance on your grave, old man;
you’ve stepped on my shadow once too often, you’ve been unfaithful to me with other women, women so cheap and insipid it psychs me out to think I might ever be put in the same category with them; you’ve left me alone so often that I might as well have been a homesteader in Alaska these past years; and you’ve left me, thrown me out of your life often enough that I might as well be a newspaper, differently discarded each day. Now you’re gone for good and I don’t know why but your leaving actually made me as miserable as an earthworm with no earth, but now I’ve crawled out of the ground where you stomped me and I gradually stand taller and taller each day. I have learned to sing new songs, and as I sing, I’m going to dance on your grave because you are
dead dead dead
under the earth with the rest of the shit, I’m going to plant deadly nightshade on your grassy mound and make sure a hemlock tree starts growing there. Henbane is too good for you, but I’ll let it grow there for good measure because we want to dance, we want to sing, we want to throw this old man to the wolves, but they are too beautiful for him, singing in harmony with each other.
So some white wolves and I
will sing on your grave, old man and dance for the joy of your death. “Is this an angry statement?”
“No, it is a statement of joy.”
“Will the sun shine again?”
“Yes, yes, yes,” because I’m going to dance dance dance
Duncan’s measure, and Pindar’s tune, Lorca’s cadence, and Creeley’s hum, Stens’ sirens and Williams’ little Morris dance, oh, the poets will call the tune, and I will dance, dance, dance on your grave, grave, grave, because you’re a sonofabitch, a sonofabitch, and you tried to do me in, but you cant, cant, cant. You were a liar in a way that only I know:
You ride a broken motorcycle, You speak a dead language You are a bad plumber, And you write with an inkless pen.
You were mean to me, and I’ve survived, God damn you, at last I am going to dance on your grave, old man, I’m going to learn every traditional dance, every measure, and dance dance dance on your grave
one step
for every time you done me wrong.
Laura's note:
Here's to you, Ronnie, you old bastard. This is in memory of every one of the men I saw buried. The AIDS drugs were too late to save them and I still hold you responsible for their lovers' empty arms and the empty chairs at Thanksgiving.
May you burn in the hell of your own vision.
Laura
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