A Never Been Asked Question - Married And Similarly Situated Folks Only

[ThomWV]

This is only for folks who have lived with someone for a while actually married or acting as if they were.

Do you think your mate has ever purposefully tried to do you harm? I don't mean playfully, not in jest, I mean really trying to hurt you, either physically or psychologically, or even economically. Just plain tried to do you harm. Yes or no? If yes do you mind sharing how?

[kimchi]

1. I don't think so.

We've had some screaming matches, but never violence.

Yes, we have hurt each other with words that cannot be retracted, but only apologized for. I honestly don't know any couple who hasn't said something evil in the heat of an argument. Don't hang with any saints that I'm aware of.

[pagerbear]

2. Um...I gotta ask

Should we be concerned?

[left is right]

3. 2 questions

Do you think that your life is in danger? OR, are you at the point that you think harming the mate is the only way out?

[ThomWV]

4. No, Not At All

Actually I was just sittin' here pettin' the dog, thinking what a wonderful day it is and how much nicer it would have been if my wife hadn't had to work today. So I was thinking I should make her something nice for dinner because she'll be exhausted, but maybe some guys aren't as lucky as I am.

[Doctor Smith]

5. I didn't think so, but now that I think back...

I have to wonder whether the arsenic was really an accident.

[wryter2000]

6. Nope

Not intentionally. He's done some things that did harm me/us, but not irreparably and not with that as his goal.

[wryter2000]

7. Some nice newbies here

Hi, Dr. Smith, Left is Right :hi:

[benburch]

8. Never.

Not ever.

[jjmalonejr]

9. No.

Nor vice versa.

It's good to be in a marriage like that.

[Nikia]

10. I don't think that was his intent or purpose

I do think that he has made some rather selfish decisions that harmed me emotionally more than he thought that they would as well as selfish economic decisions since we share our bank account and I make significantly more. I don't think any of that was intended to harm me and that wasn't the purpose. I suppose that I am not perfect either.

[dawg]

18. Mine's the exact same as yours ...

The only differences being:

I'm the guy, and

I'm not going to say that I'm not perfect either. (Of course I'm not perfect, but I would never have rattled my wife's cage the way she has rattled mine the last two or three years.)

[JM]

11. Only non-intentional psychological

torture through the use of Credikinesis. My wife $ can spend money by just thinking about it.

JM

[DebJ]

12. Yep. Been divorced 20 years plus now. Gee, when the fist

headed into my back I finally woke up. After being away from him for two years, I realized how emotionally abusive he had been. Very long story, don't care to go over it much. Why do you ask?

He was very controlling. Couldn't have friends over, couldn't go over friends homes. Never go to any movies I wanted to see - not once in the last 8 years of marriage. He started slowly, but by the end of the marriage, I was living in a prison of his construction which I allowed.

[amandae]

13. No, but that thought has crossed my mind.

I mean, you get married or live with someone for a long time and no doubt have full trust in this person. It's scary how much we trust we put into the people that we live with. So that if your significant other were to try anything, would you even expect or suspect it??

:scared: How well do we ever really know other people?

[left is right]

14. 20 years ago our marriage was so horrible

I began to think that the only way out was killing him. But I was smart. I knew that husbands got 7-25 years for killing their wives in a fit of passion. But wives got 25 to life (women also killed in fits of passion but because we are not as comfortable with guns and not physically strong enough to break their necks in anger we tend to plan for the right moment--hence premeditated). So I decided to kill him with food--not poison--food. His family was very sickly, high blood pressure, untreated diabetes, high cancer rates so I was sure this would work. I increased the salt in his food--he loved it. I willing fetched beer after beer. He was served double pepperoni/chees pizzas for midnight snacks. I even bought the premium grade ice creams. He gained alot of weight but he would not die! And then I came to my senses and realized my own thinking was the real trap. He is still alive but I am free

[bicentennial_baby]

15. Nope

I'm the center of his universe. He would never purposefully do a single thing to hurt me in any way. We've been best friends for 14 years and living together for the last 5, so I can say this with great confidence.

[dawg]

21. That's sweet.

That's how couples should feel about each other.

[Rowdyboy]

16. No time, no way, no how....

15 years and counting. If he ever tried to harm me in any way, I'd be devastated. It would be totally out of character and I would know he needed help.

[cheezus]

17. Nope

though I think most couples prick (as opposed to actually hurt) each other when there is a misunderstanding... presumed self defense that one feels bad about later. But malice? That's ridiculous.

[Servo300]

19. No.

[malachibk]

20. No. Only inadvertently!

[SnohoDem]

22. No

never.

[tigereye]

23. no and no

[SarahB]

24. Not really

Probably the opposite. Frequently, he tried so hard to please me, that painful truths were hidden from me. He never purposely tried to hurt me, nor I him. I'm sorry, but that's just a bit sick.

[Qanisqineq]

25. yes, but not my current husband -- an ex-bf I lived with

physically and emotionally

[drdtroit]

26. No!

If it has happened to you, I'd suggest checking out!

(Who are the Lakers?)

[NMDemDist2]

27. no way-- that's why we're still married after 10 years

and if you try to harm me in any way, he'll rip your arms out of your sockets

any other questions?

[neebob]

28. Yes

For two years I lived with someone I now believe was systematically trying to destroy my resources and my ability to free myself from him. Right up to the day I threw him out and even for a while afterward, I thought he was just a pathetic loser with a messed-up life who once had good intentions and never meant to hurt me. Boy, was I wrong.

If you're asking the question but don't want to believe it, believe it. Women do it, too. My brother's first wife is still trying to destroy him.

[lazarus]

29. Not my current one

My ex-wife, however: She's so evil Satan worships her.

[HuckleB]

30. No.

[regularguy]

31. No way, but growing up (watching my folks)

I thought that "marriage" must be latin for "inflicting pain physically or psychologically, or even economically". :(

[Jeff in Cincinnati]

32. A line my dad always used with my Mom...

"I've never hit you, dear, although you deserved it many times."

The torch is passed to a new generation -- I use that line on my wife all the time. Only in jest, of course, because she could probably kick my ass if she put her mind to it.