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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 09:23 AM
Original message
First date hints & tips...
as has been explained in earlier posts. I've just asked a girl out for the first time. (That's not to say that I've never gone out with a girl before, it's just I've tended to get to know them as friends first, then got onto more intimate terms)

We are going out for to lunch next week. I'm starting gently, ok.

I only met her last weekend in the pub (friend of a friend) and we finished the evening with a little smooching.

I've already been told to come up with a few conversation starters before hand. So thanks everyone for those - but no-one pointed out the first question you should always ask a girl "spit or swallow".

So any other hot tips.

Cheers people.
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Nicholas D Wolfwood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 09:25 AM
Response to Original message
1. Be yourself, be yourself, be yourself!!!!
NOTHING is better than coming off as being genuine and secure in yourself.
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Robb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 09:25 AM
Response to Original message
2. If you have an action figure collection, don't mention it.
:D
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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 09:27 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. Dammit, I don't know what else to talk about. n/t
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wysimdnwyg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 09:29 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. Make sure you tell her about your...
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radwriter0555 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:18 AM
Response to Reply #2
10. Yeah, that and the star trek dress up club membership
thing.
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myrna minx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:29 AM
Response to Reply #10
16. When she speaks...use your English/Klingon dictionary
for a translation. That always makes me smolder with desire. ;-)
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 09:27 AM
Response to Original message
3. Ask her about her
I'm sure you'll like it when she asks you to talk about yourself. It's not any different for her.

"What do you think you'd like to do for a living?" "Do you come from a big family?" "What do you like to do for fun?"

Talk about music, movies, books.

Give her a chance to be interesting, and she'll think you're interesting.
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Justitia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:03 AM
Response to Reply #3
6. This is VERY important!
One of my best friends is out there in the dating world again (I'm married, therefore out of the loop), and she tells me she is shocked at how some men won't ask her a single question about herself!

Not only does that seem like they are only interested in themselves, it's just plain rude for conversation between any two adults.

Good luck - have fun!
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radwriter0555 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:16 AM
Response to Reply #3
7. Yes. ACT like you're genuinely INTERESTED in HER. Don't talk about your
mom. Or your dad.

Or your perils and traumas in high school.

Or how broke you are, or how badly life sucks.

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radwriter0555 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:17 AM
Response to Reply #3
8. OH! and TELL HER SHE IS PRETTY! Compliment her on her hair,
her shoes, the color of her sweater, or a piece of jewelry.

NOTICE her and the effort she put into making herself pretty for YOU.

Tell her how sweet her kisses taste, and how nice she smells, when you're up close.
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fudge stripe cookays Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:18 AM
Response to Original message
9. Bring her flowers...
I know it sounds cheesy, or cliche, but it's so thoughtful!

I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I ever got flowers.

And for God's sake don't get the big disgustingly showy rose bouquet. Just some little mixed bouquet with maybe some daisies, daylilies, baby's breath.

It's a casual way of saying "I'm glad I'm going out with you." If I were her I'd be smiling inside.

FSC
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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:24 AM
Response to Reply #9
12. I thought about flowers,
but she's going back to work afterwards & I don't want to embarrass her. Also I'm still a little concerned I may get blown off & not in a good way! "thank you for your interest, but I'm not really interested"
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fudge stripe cookays Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:37 AM
Response to Reply #12
20. Ha! Embarrass?
Most girls I know LOVE to get flowers at work so they can show them off!

Someone comes by, says "What pretty flowers!"
And she says "Thanks! I went out with this terrific bloke, Montag, at lunch, and he brought me flowers! Wasn't that sweet?"
Friend says "Yep, he's a keeper!"
And even if she might have been lukewarm before, she'll think..."hmmm...he was awfully nice...hmmmm...maybe I should look at him a little more carefully..."

And by buying something around the $10 range, you're not out too much dough if she blows you off.

It's still a thoughtful gesture, even so. She'll remember, even if you didn't click, that you're a classy guy. And that's important. Trust me.

FSC
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pagerbear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:24 AM
Response to Original message
11. Wear your kilt!
Woof!
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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:26 AM
Response to Reply #11
14. I think it was when I told her about my kilt
& cyclists legs that got me this date.

The cyclist that they belong to won't be needing them any more. Mwah hah hah hah hah <evil laugh>
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Justitia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 11:21 AM
Response to Reply #14
26. cyclist legs? kilt? uh, where do you live big boy?
Anywhere near Texas? hee, hee

be sure to post back afterwards, with all the sordid details!

Best of luck.
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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 11:23 AM
Response to Reply #26
27. Wrong side of the pond...
Sorry, but if I ever visit Texas...;)
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Justitia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 11:28 AM
Response to Reply #27
28. I'd tell ya to trot out that sexy accent,
but she's probably immune to it huh?

The "cyclist in a kilt" image is still a killer 'tho!
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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 11:32 AM
Response to Reply #28
30. I reckon the accent helps
I'm south of the border, in the land of heathens & scoundrels. Or English as they call themselves.
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Justitia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 11:51 AM
Response to Reply #30
39. reckon? hee, hee
"reckon" is probably the most opposite of "sounding like you have a plum stone in the mouth"

I'm too much of a city girl to go for the country bumpkin lingo (consider our idiot president), but any UK accent makes me weak in the knees.

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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 12:01 PM
Response to Reply #39
41. I'm quite well spoken for a Scot,
private schooling, don't you know. But I still have quite a strong accent, I have friends who speak in such thick accents that even people from the north of England struggle to understand them, & it even took me a while to get used to it.
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Justitia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 12:16 PM
Response to Reply #41
43. What is that funny statistic?
The one that says Americans automatically (mentally) add some number of IQ points to anyone w/a UK accent?

I don't think it would matter as to which part of the UK, they all sound great.

I absolutely cringe whenever Bush opens his mouth.
It gives the impression that we Texans are so, so dumb.
There are many different accents within Texas (some are kinda sexy, some Texans are extremely quick wits, a la former Gov Ann Richards).

Why, oh why, does the American President have to sound like the biggest moron to ever put a face on Texas??? Ugh!
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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 12:10 PM
Response to Reply #28
42. Dammit, I almost got a works jolly (business trip) to Texas too,
I could have wow-ed you with my accent, legs & kilt. :evilgrin:
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Justitia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 12:17 PM
Response to Reply #42
44. You are a big tease! No fair!
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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 12:35 PM
Response to Reply #44
45. I should remember the opening message of this thread.
:spank:And stop flirting
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Justitia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 12:49 PM
Response to Reply #45
47. Ahhh, all harmless fun from across the ocean!
And this has distracted me to quite a fun degree from my work duties.

Thanks for honing my cyber-flirting skills!

Seriously, you MUST let us know how this date turns out, we will be waiting with bated breath (cheap thrills and all).
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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 01:03 PM
Response to Reply #47
50. I let y'all (I can speak Texan too) know
Yeah, it's all good fun. And good practice too.;)
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Whitacre D_WI Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:25 AM
Response to Original message
13. Hm... how can I say this so you'll understand...
When you pull a bird, make sure you're gentle while snogging -- otherwise, it'll never lead to shagging; and you'll be left along at the end of the night, wanking.

Eh, I agree with the "be yourself" bit. You seem to be a nice guy, and that's a good start.

If, on the other hand, you're actually a psycopathic mass-murderer, don't be yourself. Do exactly the opposite of whatever comes to mind.
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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:29 AM
Response to Reply #13
15. I thought I would take it slow,
and not jump her bones the first chance I get.

I want to enjoy the romance. Things are always a little different once you've got jiggy with a girl. Not necessarily better or worse, just different.
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Whitacre D_WI Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:31 AM
Response to Reply #15
17. Not... jump... bones...?
I am unfamiliar with this strategy.

However, it does seem to be a clever gambit! I wish you well, my good man!
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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:34 AM
Response to Reply #17
18. It's a local euthamism for
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Whitacre D_WI Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:40 AM
Response to Reply #18
23. I know what "jump bones" means, and I know what "not" means...
...it's just that I've never seen those words in that particular order. There is a way to "not" jump someone's bones? :P
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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:46 AM
Response to Reply #23
24. heh heh heh
I just thought it would be nice to do things a little differently. Do you not get a thrill out of anticipation?

Ok maybe it's just me.:shrug:
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pagerbear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:35 AM
Response to Reply #15
19. Jiggy?
Whatever does that mean?
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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:38 AM
Response to Reply #19
21. See post 18. n/t
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fudge stripe cookays Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:40 AM
Response to Reply #19
22. Here ya go pager...
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Bush_Eats_Beef Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 10:55 AM
Response to Original message
25. Never under any circumstances bring out the one eared elephant
...it may sound like a good idea now, but trust me...you'll regret it later.

:evilgrin:
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 11:29 AM
Response to Original message
29. I suppose I could give you the same advice...
that I gave short bus...when she walks into the room, grab her, throw her up against a wall, get a couple of handfuls of her hair, and then kiss her HARD.

Works on me but I'm willing to admit that I'm not exactly normal.:)
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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 11:34 AM
Response to Reply #29
31. I'll try that one a little later,
when I find out if that's her thing.

Then surprise her with it, when she's not expecting it.
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 11:39 AM
Response to Reply #31
33. Darnit...
no one ever takes my first date advice. *big fake pout* ;)

Plus it's not like you haven't already snogged on her. (It's so neat to find someone else who knows what that word means.)
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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 11:43 AM
Response to Reply #33
35. It's just that I'm meeting her outside her work...
and it might not be appropriate with her colleagues looking on.

How the devil do you know what snogged means? It British isn't it? Or do you Texans use it?
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 11:47 AM
Response to Reply #35
36. I love slang...
and have picked up bits and pieces from other regions and cultures and made it part of my vocabulary. And snogging is a great word.

One of the funniest DU threads I've ever been on was one where a bunch of my fellow Texans were trying to figure out what "snogging" meant.
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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 11:49 AM
Response to Reply #36
37. I heard that "Austin Powers: The Spy that Shagged Me"
caused some upset amongst the usual crowd (in America) when they found out what "shagged" meant.
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 11:51 AM
Response to Reply #37
38. That's just sad
I have a hard time believeing they didn't already know what it meant and just wanted something to be all het up about.
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Justitia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 11:56 AM
Response to Reply #36
40. Hey! I know what "snogging" is!!! I know all the "good" terms!
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geniph Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 12:57 PM
Response to Reply #29
49. Eh, the grabbing the hair thing doesn't work with me
however, holding my wrists together above my head while slowly pressing me back against a wall does.

I have to go lie down for awhile now.

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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 01:09 PM
Response to Reply #49
51. So do I,
Edited on Wed Jun-02-04 01:14 PM by Guy_Montag
it's all been getting a little hot in here.
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 01:14 PM
Response to Reply #49
52. Different strokes...
for different folks. ;)

I have a lot of hair and that's what it's all there for. Convenient handhold. :)
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geniph Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 01:45 PM
Response to Reply #52
53. I'll see your lot of hair and raise you two feet
Mine's down to my hips! But I like having the wrists held. Just my particular quirk...
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 01:48 PM
Response to Reply #53
54. Mine is almost that long...
Like I said though, everybody has their own thing. If we were all alike the world would be a boring place.
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tsakshaug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 11:37 AM
Response to Original message
32. lots of advice
So when is the big day next week?
Just so we can bother you after your lunch-or after breakfast here
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Guy_Montag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 11:42 AM
Response to Reply #32
34. Tuesday 12:30 local (GMT+1)
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BigMcLargehuge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 12:39 PM
Response to Original message
46. Do not, under any circumstances, wear a gorilla costume on a first date
Edited on Wed Jun-02-04 12:46 PM by BigMcLargehuge
Topics to avoid unless she begins the conversation about them -

Favorite Dungeons and Dragon's modules
Favorite Star Trek episodes (Kirk/Picard debate is also a no no)
Great center fielders
Bowling, sport or not?
Relatively safe places to engage in public masturbation
Please proofread my 100 page epic poem about my love for dragons
S/M porn favorites
Favorite Jean Claude Van Damme movies
Religious round table... avoid religion on first dates unless you used a religious service to make the connection to the girl, and even then... it's a date not a bible study.

Topics that are good to start -

Tell me about your job (and actually listen and respond with more than just monosyllables)
What were you like as a kid, what was I like as a kid?
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Nicholas D Wolfwood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 12:56 PM
Response to Reply #46
48. HEY!! WTF IS WRONG WITH D&D!?!?!?
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BigMcLargehuge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 01:53 PM
Response to Reply #48
56. Nothing... but it isn't good date discussion material
if you want to ever go on more than one date with the person.
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LastKnight Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 02:01 PM
Response to Reply #46
57. damn, well there goes friday's plans...
i was gonna have my girl over to play D&D in star trek uniforms with leather whips holding bibles in our teeth watching ESPN classic... they always have some old baseball game on with an awesome center fielder, oh well, guess we will just have to discuss favorite first basemen.

-LK
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blindpig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-02-04 01:48 PM
Response to Original message
55. show her the back of your glass eye
always a crowd pleaser.
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