Top 10 Pickup Lines For Pirates (Thanks Rabrrrrr...)

[m-jean03]

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/howto.html

(We came up with these in an effort to interest The Other Dave (Letterman) in TLAPD. His staff liked 'em, but alas, his show is "dark" the week of Sept. 19.)


10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?


9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?


8. Come on up and see me urchins.


7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.


6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.


5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?


4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?


3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.


2. Well blow me down?


And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …


1. Prepare to be boarded.

[tigereye]

1. arr avast ye matey

I love Pirate talk. I am the designated Pirate voice for stories at my house. How about, "Come on up to the crow's nest?"

[m-jean03]

9. . . .and have a look at

me enormous telescope!!" :evilgrin:

[Endangered Specie]

2. ROFL, very funny

:)

[texas1928]

3. So which one works on you

;)

[m-jean03]

8. I don't know, but I'm fond of

"Come on up and see me urchins", just for its artful ambiguity. ;-)

[Donkeyboy75]

4. Have you heard of the new pirate movie?

It's rated "ARRRRRRGGGHHH"

[Unperson 309]

5. ARRRRR! All us Pirates Say 'ARRRRR!'

Let me tell ye matey, if ye had a damn PARROT digging its claws into a yer shoulder, YOU'd say "ARRRR!" TOO!

Shiver me timbers, I remember a great pirate joke, too, melads!

This sailor is sittin in a pub an in walks the biggest burliest pirate he ever clapped his glims on, Matey! Aye, the bloke had a patch on his eye, a shiny steel hook on his arm and a big oak peg on his leg. he was a true son of the salt!

The salir, he gets curious and sidles up to the captain. He asks him "Wow! You a real pirate?" When the old salt nods, he continues: "If you don't mind me asking, how did you lose your leg?"

The pirate grimaces and answers "Aye, me old son, It happened in the Atlantic! I was up on the poop when a frigate hove to and fired a broadside at us! A cannonball took me foot clean off! And that's how I got me wooden leg!"

The sailor, emboldened, asks again "Captain, I'm impressed! But how did you lose your hand?"

"Arr, me matey, it was in the pacific, about a year ago! I was in a longboat, comin back from lootin' a town an' a shark, she come up alongside and bit it clean off! And that's how I lost me hand!"

"Wow!" says the sailor, very impressed, indeed. "You know, captain, I've seldom met someone as brave as you are! But tell me one last thing... how did you lose your eye?"

The pirate draws himself up and says quietly "Ahh, melad, that I cannot tell! I'll not tell ye any more!" and he turns to his rum with a dark brooding scowl.

"But Captain! You have to tell me, now! Sure;ly such a brave bold pirate, such as yourself, isn't afraid to tell a lad how he lost his eye?! C'mon, now, I want to know."

Well the sailor wheedled and wheedled but only after he promised to pay the old salt's entire bar tab did the pirate relent.

"All right, old son, if ye simply MUST know, I'll tell ye! But I'll hear no more about it, then! I was standin on the fo'c'sle lookin out to sea when a seagull crapped straight in me face!"

"WHAT?! A lousy SEAGULL shit in your eye?!" the sailor looked incredulous.

"Aaarrrrrrr, ye scuurvied black bilge rat! It was the day after I'd got me damn HOOK!"

309

[m-jean03]

7. This is a great joke.

Thank you. :-)

[jpgray]

6. I think you need more dealing with the sextant.

It's already too easy--you use it to measure celestial angles. I think a great pirate reality game show would be 'herpes or scurvy?'