End stage liver failure

[BigBigBear]

Cruel exit - my poor wife is hanging on through some truly awful days (like today).

I had been thinking the last couple of days that she might pull through, but I'm really starting to lose faith.

Is it worse to have your heart broken suddenly, or slow and drawn out, without even the comfort of a certain prognosis?

I can't even cry anymore - I'm just frayed and spent.

[Mz Pip]

1. There are no words

that I can possible convey to ease any of this for you. Just know you and your wife are in my thoughts today. Be strong for her.

MzPip
:dem:

[newscaster]

2. All of us.......

our thoughts are with you and your wonderful wife and we pray in one way or another that her future is filled with thoughts of good times with you, pain free and peaceful.

God Bless.

[fortyfeetunder]

3. {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

My thoughts are with you and Mrs. Bear. I wish her comfortable days ahead. PM any of us for support. We're with you in spirit!

[nini]

4. I wish I could be there to help ...

I've followed your posts and it breaks my heart you don't have anyone there to help you through this. :-( I'm glad DU is here for you and don't hesitate to lean on us whenever you need.

Sending strength and hope your way. :hug:

[flamingyouth]

5. My heart just breaks for you

Please know that you have the love and support of all of your friends here. And I am so sorry for what you and your wife are going through. Are you sure I can't bring a casserole? :)
:hug:

[Doosh]

6. best wishes

my prayers are with you

[blm]

7. A great love of mine died from a brain aneurism.

Losing someone suddenly is quite difficult, too.

I think when someone you love has endured pain for a long time, it becomes a blessing to know that death brings relief from that pain. It also gives you the time to give voice to whatever intimate thoughts you and your love want to share.

Peace to you both.

[silverlib]

8. Is there anything we can do?

If thoughts and prayers are all I can do, then you both definitely have them. Please let us know if there is anything else.

[roguevalley]

9. I wish I could hug you. I just don't know what to say except that I love

both of you. Take care and post often if it helps you. We are always here.

[BigBigBear]

10. Thanks everyone

It makes me feel a little less alone posting about this terrible thing - your prayers and good wishes are appreciated, and, no, I don't realy think there's anythging else you can do, except indulge my heartbreak.

[Unperson 309]

25. I'm Storming Heaven For Ya...

Every time I've said my prayers at night, I've offered one for you and your wife, BigBigBear.

I wish I could do more... offer more... You have not been far from my thoughts since you first posted of your wife's illness.

I, like you, have been fortunate enough to be blessed with a loving partner, the love of my life, and were I to lose her, I'd simply perish of the heartbreak. I cannot imagine your grief and worry, right now. All I can do is continue to storn Heaven with prayers, pleas and promises.

You are never far from my thoughts. Hang on and know you are not truly alone.

309

[Mikimouse]

11. BBB, I am so sorry that you both have to endure this...

Please accept my heartfelt hugs and good thoughts. Keep us informed, and PM me if you want to do so.

[mike_c]

12. oh jesus I'm sorry....

That's just awful. I'm so sorry.

[ikojo]

13. BigBadBear....I don't know the words

I know I can offer a hug and hope it brings you comfort to know so many are pulling for you and your wife.




:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Harrumph]

14. Cruel exit...how sad.

Just know that our thoughts and prayers are with you and Mrs. BBBear.

[kimchi]

15. I'm sorry you are going through this.

Just know we are thinking of you and your wife right now.

[Bonhomme Richard]

16. You and your wife are in my prayers n/t

[Lindsey]

17. I'm so sorry for what you and she are going through..

I know this has been going on for awhile. My heart goes out to you.

[peacefreak]

18. You are in my thoughts.

I wish there was something I could do for you two. Please take strength & solace from knowing that we care. P.

[noiretextatique]

19. it's heartbreaking to watch someone you love suffer

and know there isn't anything you can do about it. my thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife.

[livetohike]

20. Prayers for you and Mrs. BigBigBear

Sending positive thoughts and prayers for you both through this crisis BigBigBear. A huge hug from me :hug:

[darkstar]

21. Prayers

[Nikia]

22. You are in my thoughts and prayers

There is still hope and at least you are together at home.

[Skittles]

23. *sniff*

I am so sorry BBB; please hang in there and use DU for support. We care.

[MIScott87]

24. I will say a few prayers for you and your wife.

"Our Father, Who Art In Heaven, Hallowed Be Thy Name..."

[GreenPartyVoter]

26. I am so sorry *hugs*

[BigBigBear]

27. I made contact with a Reiki master tonight

She will send my wife remote energy the next three nights, and come to see her next Monday.

I hope it helps.

[CO Liberal]

55. If Nothing Else...

...the Reiki energy may help her passage to her next life stage.

I'm hoping for the best for both of you, BBB.

Wayne
(CO Liberal)

[davsand]

28. I'll carry you both in my heart.

I've read your posts here and have not been able to respond simply because I've lacked the appropriate words--they all seem so lame somehow in the face of your pain.

Peace to you all, and may your paths lighten soon.

Laura

[Obamarama]

29. Some thoughts...

We haven't formally "met," but I have followed your posts here on DU. I am sorry for the pain and suffering that both your wife and you are experiencing right now.

I helped care for both my 6 year-old niece and my father before they died from terminal illnesses. In each case, their deaths were long, drawn-out and painful. At times it seemed nearly impossible to hold it together enough to be there for them. Caring for a critically ill loved one on their death bed is an excruciating experience that can only be fathomed by someone else who has been through it. I know the pain and heartbreak you are feeling. It is one of the lonliest, most helpless feelings you will ever experience. Just remember two things...you are not alone, and this feeling will not last forever.
In the state you are in now, none of this will register.

My best friend and older brother Nathan died playing tennis when he was 17. He had an undetected, congenital heart defect. When I was 23, my partner Patrick died in a place crash. In both instances, it was sudden, crushing, devastating.

There is no way that's easier to have one's heart broken when it comes to losing someone you love so very deeply, so I'm afraid I can't answer your heartwrenching question.

But having already lost a number of people central to my life, I can share one profound thing that I figured out while going through one too many grief processes: tears are sometimes an inappropriate response to a loved one's death.

When a life has been lived completely honestly, completely successfully, or just completely, the correct response to death's perfect punctuation mark is a smile.

I wish you godspeed and peace during this difficult time and may you find the courage and fortitude to honor your beautiful wife's time on this earth with a smile when her spirit leaves this world should that time come soon.

[Lou_C]

30. I am so sorry to hear about your wife

My Mom died 6 months after she had a major stroke and she was paralyzed from the neck down.

Each day that passed help me prepare myself for her passing. I know that sounds bad but I spent every minute with her up until the day that she died.

If she would have died immediately I might have died with her because we were inseparable. I believe that the months that I had with her helped me get ready for the time that she wouldn't be with me anymore.

Enjoy each day with her and try to take some movies if that's possible.

I feel so bad for you and if you need someone to talk to please feel free to email me.

[UTUSN]

31. Well, Be with Her n/t

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

32. BigBigBear, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Please know

we are all thinking of you and your wife. Please be comforted in that.

[BigBigBear]

33. I was mistaken

I said I couldn't cry anymnore - no, I cried hard today. She's losing ground every day.

Whomever I wronged in this or another life...can we call it even, please? This is breaking me to pieces.

[fortyfeetunder]

34. Mr. Bear, another hug for ya.

I know you are taking an extraordinary bit of guilt, but there was nothing you did to cause your wife's illness and suffering.

May you find peace in knowing you did so much for her care in these difficult days. Mrs. Bear is appreciating every minute she has to be by your side. You are admired by the DU community for your caring.

Another hug for you and Mrs. Bear today. :hug: :hug:

[solinvictus]

35. I'm so sorry to hear this...

I've followed your posts and hoped for the better. Hang in there.

[Pithlet]

36. You and your wife remain in my thoughts.

I really do hope things turn around. :hug:

[K8-EEE]

37. I'm So Very, Very Sorry

I'm reminded of a deacon at my church, who was told he had an incurable condition, and he was walking around smiling, singing and I said, "How can you be so happy when you're dying?" And he said, "But, Katie dear -- we're ALL dying."

It's the one true certaintly, damn. I wish your wife was having an easier time of it, I can really feel the pain in your words, it's burning up the screen.

All I can do is hope for peace to descend on you both during this painful time. I am thinking of you, dear Big Big Bear, God bless.

[BigBigBear]

38. Thank you all

she had an awful night. Bleeding, extreme weakness, unresponsiveness.

Hospice lady coming soon.

I've had a month to prepare myself for this; I spent it trying to convince myself she was getting better, trying to push out what this would look like.

She was getting better, until a few days ago.

She can't even say "I love you" back to me anymore.

[Pale Blue Dot]

40. She feels that love for you, though.

And she always will.

I'll be thinking about you both and sending all the positive energy I can.

:hug:

[flamingyouth]

44. I'm so sorry, BigBigBear

You know that if any of us here could work a miracle for you, we would. I know she loves you more than anything in the world. We're here for you. :cry:

[soleft]

48. wishing all the comfort and peace in the world

for you and your wife.

[skip fox]

39. I'm so sorry.

n/t

[MissMillie]

41. My prayers are with you

:hug: We are all thinking of you. Please know that.

[indigo32]

42. I'm so sorry BBB

you are in my prayers.

[supernova]

43. ((((BigBigBear))))

You truly are a Big, Big Teddy Bear. :-)

If it's any comfort, it is the hardest thing you will ever do is care for a dying family member. I did it for my mother who died of breast cancer approaching eight years ago. There were times at the funeral when I wildly thought about what it would be like to join her in the grave.

I was so spent and anxious that I literally shook, so I do understand what you are feeling. You're not alone. Not by a long shot, BigBigBear.

:grouphug:

[ProfessorGAC]

45. Deepest Sympathies

This exactly what took my dad, as well. I both sympathize and empathize. Take care.
The Professor

[rasputin1952]

46. BigBigBear...your love for your wife during this tragedy...

surpasses all all other emotions, and is an inspiration for all.

You and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers.

She knows you are there for her, and the love between you both will make this just a little easier. May you heal quickly and remember only the best of times with your beloved.

You both have touched many lives. May peace and grace be your reward.

:hug: O8)

[democratreformed]

47. I don't know the answer to your question

I have lost grandparents through a long painful process, but my mother and brother-in-law both were sudden and unexpected losses. I can't objectively say which was worse b/c there are so many factors involved in each one. Of course, I was closer to my mother, so hers was the most life-changing and drastic loss. My brother-in-law, whom I lost just a couple of weeks ago, was very sudden and is extra troubling b/c he was so young and the cardio problems worry me about my husband. I was younger while watching my grandparents suffer but still felt it was terrible.

I am so sorry for you and I don't know what to say. We are here for you if we can do anything at all to help.

[ZenLefty]

49. I'm sorry BigBigBear

Our thought are with you. :(

[kitkatrose]

50. I'm so sorry.

I hope that you can pull through this and that everything turns out alright. :hug:

[SOteric]

51. I'm so very sorry BigBigBear

How horrific to watch someone you love suffer so. :hug: Know that we hold you both in our hearts while you struggle with this.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

52. I am so sorry BigBigBear

[RFKHumphreyObama]

53. Words fail me...I'm so so sorry BigBigBear

Please know that you and your wife continue to be in my thoughts and prayers and that I will keep on extending my best wishes, positive vibes and deep and heartfelt love and prayers to the both of you. Please feel free to share with us or PM if you feel you need to

Sending out lots of love, best wishes, prayers and positive vibes

[SiouxJ]

54. I'm so sorry.

Don't really know what to say. Sending strength your way.

[Insider]

56. very sorry for your pain

cherish every moment, every memory with your sweetheart. you are in our thoughts & prayers.

[dolo amber]

57. Bear...

:hug:

[PopSixSquish]

58. You and You're Wife are in My Prayers

May the Lord bless you and keep you, may the Lord make his face to shine upon you and give you peace.

:hug:

[demgurl]

59. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[TreeHuggingLiberal]

60. I'm very sorry BigBigBear...

I send my best wishes to you and your family. If there is anything that I can possibly help with...feel free to let me know.

[BigBigBear]

61. We took her to hospice this afternoon

Her weakness and bleeding required a level of scrutiny and care I could not give her at home. I haven't slept in two nights and have barely eaten in two days.

She is not in pain, will be looked at every 30 minutes, and I will see her tomorrow morning.

She's not expected to survive this.

My friends, thank you for your love and support through this.

[dolo amber]

63. Every day lately

I come to DU, the first thing I check for is an update from you. I can only imagine the utter bleakness that is your world at this moment. Please know I have thought of you and held you in my heart since you first posted. Whatever the outcome may be, I wish you the ability to find happiness in whatever presents itself to you.

:hug:

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

62. My Very Deepest Sympathy

I am so sad for you both. How I wish I had the power to change things for you. I'm keeping you both in my thoughts.

[Flaxbee]

64. I'm so sorry, BigBigBear --

I've been reading your posts, hoping and praying that your wife will recover and that you are also getting through this horrible time. You seem like an incredibly loving, caring, thoughtful husband, and I am sure your wife knows this and it has made whatever suffering she's going through bearable.

I think of you and your wife often. Everyone at DU is pulling for you both, come here whenever you need to talk.

[FizzFuzz]

65. sending thoughts and prayers of solace and strength

wish I could do more BigBigBear

[BigBigBear]

66. She doesn't recognize me anymore

I just talked to her parents in Europe. She is their only child and they are coming apart.

[Red State Rebel]

67. I'm so sorry....

I went thru this exact thing with my Mom and I know how torturous it can be. Please know you are in my prayers.

[benburch]

68. I can only imagine what that is like.

When we were taking care of my mom she stopped recognizing us in the last few days. She really wasn't all there at all, and kept saying that we were killing her. It was very hard. I can only imagine what it would be like if or when that happens with my Katy.

If there is anything at all I can do, or even if you just need to talk, pm me with a phone number.

[newyawker99]

69. My thoughts are with you BBB!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~positive thoughts to BBB~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


:cry:

[July]

70. I am so very sorry, BigBigBear.

It's hard to find words. I know you are reeling. I will be thinking of you and Mrs. Bear.

[ProfessorGAC]

71. My Sympathies, Again

Hang In There.
The Professor

[RFKHumphreyObama]

74. Again I'm so so very sorry Bear

All the sentiments in my above post are stronger than ever -you, your wife and all her relatives and friends have my thoughts, , best wishes, deep and heartfelt prayers and positive vibes extended to you

[supernova]

76. Continuing prayers for you BigBigBear

and your wife. :hug:

I will be thinking about you during this difficult time today.

[fortyfeetunder]

82. A morning hug

I read your message that your sweetheart was taken to hospice. I am so sorry to read the news. I hope you and your wife find peace and strength in these difficult days and she is resting comfortably.

[DancingBear]

72. May you have strength and serenity during these times

and may the two of you live on as one forever.

[mac56]

73. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Praying for strength and peace for both of you.

[nclib]

75. I am so sorry BigBigBear.

I will continue to send you prayers and positive, healing energy. :hug:

[Hand]

77. BigBigBear...

There's really so little to say, except to treasure the time you have left and the years together that you were blessed with...

And thank you for being such a wonderful, caring, loving husband. We're all with you in our hearts.

:cry: :hug: :grouphug:

[Mrs. Venation]

78. I'm So Sorry, Big Bear

Losing the love of your life is just not fair, dammit! I am wrapping you in the loving comfort of friendship from all of us at DU. I have cried for you, prayed for you, and anxiously hoped for a miracle; now I pray for your peace, and for hers.

Almost 20 years ago, I held a dying child in my arms as he ended this part of life, and began his journey into what lies beyond. I will never forget the excruciating pain I felt as he slipped away, nor will I ever forget the peaceful smile on his face as he left. Jason was not my birth child; he was a resident at a facility for persons with mental retardation, and he was one of 21 people who relied on me and the other staff members for their care.

Jason's life on earth was brief, and it was, in large part, broken. I comfort myself with the belief that he is now whole, happy, able to speak, walk, and do all the things that were denied to him while he was here.

It took a long time for me to be able to think about him without tears; sometimes they still come. Such is the way of loving someone without restraint, Big Bear. You are such a lucky man for having loved like this, and Mrs. Bear is a richly blessed woman for having known this love. I can tell you that such love never dies. It never even really fades. It sustains us in the darkest of times, and amplifies our joyous ones.

God be with you, Big Bear.

[Mikimouse]

79. BBB, I can only send hugs and hope...

but they are heartfelt. My deepest sympathy to you and your wife for the terrible tragedy that you are both experiencing. :hug:

[proud patriot]

80. Sending strength

and hugs

[flaminbats]

81. The pain is always worse when it hits someone we love.

I have lost two people very close to me in just the last month. Another uncle died because of Kidney failure and one of my best friends since childhood recently shot himself. Now my aging grandmother whom I have looked up to all my life is growing increasingly sick with bronchitis. My dog that I have had for 15 years is barely able to walk and is in severe pain because of arthritis. In the words of Shakespeare "When sorrows come, they come not single spies, But in battalions!"

Your wife is fortunate to have such a devoted husband. I also know that both of you have been extremely brave and that she loves you.