My Hummer experience yesterday

[St. Jarvitude]

Yesterday, I was out from about 1 PM to 4 PM driving my mom here and there. Around 2 PM on Rand Road, near Lake Cook Road (anyone who lives in the Chicago area probably knows where these roads are), I encountered a H2 Blowjob coming the other way. I, wanting to annoy the driver but not be rude by giving him the finger, flashed him a peace sign and a great smile.

Later, at Illinois Rt. 83 (Elmhurst Road) and Dundee, lo and behold, I saw another Blowjob coming the other way. Seeing as how we were both stopped at the light (Dundee and 83 is a long light going both ways), I was able to conclude that this was indeed the same Blowjob that I had flashed the sign to earlier in the day. As he passed by I again flashed the peace sign to him.

Only minutes later, I checked my rearview mirror, and what do you know... it's Mr. Blowjob again in my lane, just behind me. I figured it was just a coincidence, and thought it kind of weird that he turned around and ended up right behind me, but thought nothing of it - until he made two turns with me and stayed right behind me. He followed me all the way until I turned onto the street I live on, and I know of no one in my neighborhood that owns a Blowjob (usually the Hummers are from Long Grove or north Buffalo Grove).

Should I do anything? If I see this asshole again, should I really flip him the bird rather than just a friendly peace sign?

[FarmerOak]

1. Nope nope nope

Just let him follow you, and drive around for hours. At $.30 a mile, he'll get the message.

[DS1]

6. Exactly! I would've gone on the highway

make him burn more fuel pushing a brick with mirrors through the air.

[St. Jarvitude]

13. Well, I had a schedule to keep

Had to make it to a friend's house at 5, and I really can't afford to waste gas anyway. :(

[eyesroll]

2. I'll be in north Buffalo Grove tomorrow (my parents live there)

and I'll be sure to flip a peace sign to any Hummers I see. Make the driver (if it's the same one) think there's some sort of conspiracy.

[St. Jarvitude]

14. LOL

The guy was driving a jet-black H2... I didn't get a good look at him so I couldn't give you a personal description.

[St. Jarvitude]

15. Cool

All the folks I know who live up there are generally new-money, while the people in Long Grove are almost exclusively old-money. Everyone from BG that I know are really nice folks, their wealth doesn't really show either.

[Wickerman]

3. Damn, shouldn't he be out earning money to buy gas

for that monstrousity rather than cruising aroudn, following hippies who offer a "friendly" salutation?

Frankly, I am hoping that like a bad fashion statement they will go away if we ignore them. The ownership of a hummer is all attention seeking behavior, after all. And anyone that insecure will seek out negative attention as well as positive - its all still attention.

[will work 4 food]

4. Maybe he like you

and wanted to give you a "hummer", 2. :)

[greatauntoftriplets]

5. I saw one of those BlowJobs recently...

...at Touhy and Kedzie in the city that had this ultra-patriotic paint job. Red, white and blue, a big American flag waving in the breeze, a bald eagle. And that was only the side that I could see.

Made me want to :puke:

I agree about letting him follow you, raise his damn gas bill.

[MisterP]

12. I saw a KIA with that decor

just north of the Tehachapi Range

[parasim]

7. Apparently, flipping off Hummers...

... has become a sort of favorite pasttime for some:

http://www.flipoffahummer.com/
http://www.fuh2.com/

on edit: added another link... that one is hilarious. people post pictures of themselves flipping the bird to hummers!

[NJCher]

8. mail him a little rhyme

If you can get his license, you can get his address.

Then you can send him this, which someone here posted awhile back:

Untitled by Vanilla Bean

Your wallet's fat, your car is rank
Fuck you and your H2!
Each burst of speed costs half a tank
Fuck you and your H2!
At each stop sign and traffic light
Regardless if it's day or night
They'll mutter "asshole" and they're right
Fuck you and your H2!
You can't drive mud, you can't clear rocks
Fuck you and your H2!
With Chevy Tahoe frame and shocks
Fuck you and your H2!
What illness do you suffer from?
Are your aesthetic senses numb?
How does it feel to be so dumb?
Fuck you and your H2!
If I gave you what you deserve
Fuck you and your H2!
I'd cut you off and make you swerve
Fuck you and your H2!
I'd follow you across the land
I'd top your gas tank off with sand
And flip the bird with my free hand
Fuck you and your H2!
It's true you are the Tax-break winner
Fuck you and your H2!
You spent it on 'roo-bars and Spinners
Fuck you and your H2!
Full fifty-grand you can omit,
But what remains to show for it?
A four-point-three-ton pile of shit.
Fuck you and your H2!

Despite my venomous complaint
Fuck you and your H2!
I've got an atom of restraint
Fuck you and your H2!
I hope this point you haven't missed
Your car selection makes me pissed

In spite of that I can resist
Fuck you and your H2!
For 3 or more: the carpool lane
Fuck you and your H2!
But what if you have half a brain?
Fuck you and your H2!
You solo drive each day to work
That's why your friends all joke and smirk
Come Humm on THIS, you fucking jerk!
Fuck you and your H2!

I thought it was unparalleled for subtlety.

I mailed it to the two Blowjob owners in my neighborhood. I'm not sure if they'll "get it" though.


Cher

[daa]

9. Flipping people off in Georgia

will often get you shot.

[proud patriot]

10. I give Hummer Drivers a pinky wave

I mean why advertise your inadequacies by
driving a hummer .

[Kazak]

11. What an ass.

Actually, I've had almost the exact same thing happen. These guys don't know what's good for them.

[amazona]

16. he might have thought you were flirting with him

I think if I saw him again I would just ignore him and let him down easy. He's already wasted enough gas on this little fantasy of his, dontcha think? :-)