Leaving for College

[Nashyra]

I am helping my son pack to leave for college today, although he will only be an hour and 1/2 away it is tearing me up. Some friends just came by to say goodbye, they are leaving on Friday and I can not stop crying. The fact that he's not going to be here day in and day out is hard.

My husband travels for a living so it's been Matt and I on our own for a long time. We went through the death of his sister and the death of his natural father and have really been close friends. I'm happy for him because he got a scholarship and has no doubt that he will finish college, it's a given for him. He's a great kid and son.
I know I'm lucky because I trust him and have respect for him ao it's a matter of missing him and not worrying about it.

Thanks for letting me let go a bit, it's a mom thing.

[BurtWorm]

1. I feel for you, Nashyra

It's going to be all right.

[TheReligiousLeft]

2. 1/2 an hour isn't too bad

In fact that is kind of close (I'm moving back to the University of Oregon come September, then my parents are moving to Jacksonville Florida until Christmas). Definatly let him come how whenever he feels like it, but make sure he is placing roots in his college town.
Check out Yahoo Messenger, it has a talk option that is basicly like a free long distance phone, that's what my parents and I use.
Just remember the little bird needs to flap out of the nest sometime. Might be a little bumpy, and painful for you to watch, but imagine in a few years he will be an eagle, soaring upon the highest clouds and spreading his wings against the sun.
Things will be okay.

[BurtWorm]

7. She actually said an hour and a half

Which is ever so slightly less not so bad.

[demnan]

3. Don't worry -

He'll call when he needs money and come home when he needs to do laundry. He'll probably miss your cooking too! You'll get used to the new routine. ;-)

Just think of all the exciting things he'll have to tell you when he does come home.

You could do what the Clinton's did when Chelsea went to college, get a dog!

[blm]

4. An hour and a half...you are lucky.

That means you can see him at least twice a month.

I know you're sad, but, you are way more fortunate than most. It sounds like you raised a great young man.

[gyopsy]

5. You'll still get to talk to him

Today you've got e-mail, instant messenger, telephone etc. to talk to him with whenever one of you needs to. And you are close enough where he can come home or you can go and visit him anytime you can.

Me going to college was rough on my parents and I can't imagine how hard it will be on you but it isn't "the end" that many parents think it is. There's holidays too. Good luck and I hope everything turns out okay.

[Brazosboomer]

6. Three sons to college ----

Over the years, I have sent three sons to college. Each first parting was bitter-sweet.

Let me tell you the upside. I held my 25 year old son in my arms last minth and told him, "I miss that little boy with curls who used to play in my backyard. I miss that little boy real bad. But, oh my, I LOVE the man you've become."

I, too, lost a child. I know the apprehension you feel about letting another child go. It's very scary. It is a sort of a "death" - the death of dependency on you. You will grieve all over again. But you can do it. The reward is seeing your baby boy complete himself into a man.

Let faith grab ahold of your fears.

[Cheswick2.0]

8. I spent the whole last year of my sons HS career depressed

It is just that I miss them being little so much. It went to quickly!!

[GainesT1958]

9. It'll be hard for him, too...

Especially during that first semester. As many distractions--outside of classes and studying, of course ;-) --as possible during that time helped keep me from pausing too long and dwelling on what I was missing back home. Because when I did, it started to hurt. Really bad!

But he'll enjoy his new exeperience a lot, and the good news is, when he comes home the first time he won't be able to stop talking about the new friends he's made and all the new stuff he's been to. Wish my folks and I had the benefit of e-mails in those days--you and he will send LOTS of them, I'm sure.

You and he are both going to make it through just fine, I'll bet!:D

B-)

[Scottie72]

10. I understand how you feel....

My mother was in a very similar situation when I left for college, 12 years ago. (my gosh has it been THAT long). Anyway she was very much the same way. It was a difficult time for my mother.

The 1.5 hours away is actually a really good distance. It is far enough away to be "away" and yet close enough to get back home whenever. I truely value my time at college and living "on campus" or just off campus. I lived on campus during my four years at college. I just didn't want to have to deal with buying my own food, cooking...etc, my school schedule kept me very busy I don't think I would have time for all that. These years he is going to have are going to probably be the best, he will develope friends that he will have all his life.

I wish the both of you the best of luck during this transition time.

[Vext]

11. My nest empties in 1 month

I know it will be hard for me. I think it will be harder for my husband since he has been unemployed for the past 2 years and doesn't have a job to occupy his time.

But my daughter will only be 1 hour away. We'll read each other's blogs and IM.

Nashyra, I think the other recent losses do make it worse for you. Best of luck.

[Nashyra]

12. Thank you all for your responses

It certainly helps to hear from people who have been there done that, and next summer I hope to help someone going through the same thing.

[newyawker99]

16. Hi Vext!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[Boudicea]

13. Hugs to Nashyra.

My daughter and I just went through this last year. She went to college 21 hours away (by car), but honestly I think we talked more than when she was home, between emails and phone. Hey, this means you've done a great job! But it's hard. Lots of hugs to you.

[cmd]

14. Memories

1992

The day was hot and humid. We packed up our first born and headed 110 miles to Ohio State. I really tried to be brave, but bawled just about the whole way to Columbus.

On the way, we thought of a few more things that needed to be purchased and stopped at a super store. After loading the cart, my husband headed to the car to "cool it down" while I went through the "checkout from hell". A lady in front of me had a huge order and no way to pay for it. Credit card after credit card came back rejected. Finally we got through the line only to find that the car had overheated and blew the lid off the radiator. We waited at least an hour for it to cool down enough to add some water and get to a service station. Then the car wouldn't start.

Now, all this time, the first born was holding up pretty well. Then time became an issue. She had to be in the dorm in an hour. We called a towing company that took forever to arrive, then the three of us piled in the cab of the towing truck and pulled my daughter's worldly possessions to the nearest garage.

It didn't take long to get the car moving again, but we had specific instructions to not use the air conditioner and to use the heater. Well, we rolled down the windows and prayed for green lights as we headed for campus. She got there on time. We unloaded everything and headed for home. I bawled the whole way.

A phone call was waiting for us. We didn't take the case that had all her shampoos, makeup, contact lens stuff --
the essentials of life --out of the boot of the station wagon! Fortunately we knew another future Buckeye who delivered the stuff the next day.

I did not sleep that night. I had cramps in my legs from crying out all essential nutrients. Memories. Good luck. I'm thinking of you.

[pizzathehut]

15. Send him cookies

The one thing I missed from my Mom was her food. What college kids eat is pretty sad. Send a big thing of cookies every week and he will be the star of his dorm.

[ScreamingMeemie]

17. A big hug from me to you...and here I am feeling sorry for myself

because my son is going down the street to kindergarten next week. Thanks for putting it into perspective. :hi: