Favorite phony cussword II: Electric Boogaloo

[Bossy Monkey]

Yeah, I used Electric Boogaloo once already; so sue me.

Turns out that "friggin'," which won the first go-'round, is a very profoundly naughty word in its own right and not just a substitute for "fuckin'" (Thanks Stoic for pointing this out) so the results have been disallowed by the proper authorities, or at least are rather silly. On the second try, I don't think I've got any real cusswords (except for "Belgium"), but if I do, that'll just be life.

There were so many great suggestions out of the Other replies last time that I had to double up a lot this time around. The combinations hopefully make sense. If not, there's always Other and the reply function.

Forgive the real obscenities in Choice 5.

[On the Road]

1. Fundamentalists Used to Refer to these as

"minced oaths" and claim they were just as bad as the real thing. Includes "geez" (from Jesus), "gosh" (from God), "darn" (from damn), and many many more.

[BurtWorm]

2. Consarn those gosh darn fundies!

[Unperson 309]

3. Speaking of Fundies...

I got nailed as a kid. I was attending a 7th Day Adventist school (not because I *was* one, but because it was the only school within walking distance of our hooch) and found that they would not allow kids to say "Darn", "Gosh" or "Golly", "Gee" or anything even remotely useful but tame (to my non religious ear).

I had referred to a "Darned old" something or other and was sent to the principal for "Profanity"! Right!

They said that "Gosh" "Golly" and "Goshdarned" were the same as taking the lord's name in vain as was "Gee" and "Gee whiz". Since that took out nearly 100% of my 'repertoire' verbally, I asked them what did you say when you dropped a brick on your toe or slammed your thumb in a cabinet?!

The principal said "We say 'Shoot!' if we are that angry."

I instantly fired back "But that's just another version of SHIT!!"
I put the 'body English' on the final word and practically flung it into his face!

I was suspended for a week. When my Mom found out she called the school and REALLY blessed out the principal! Ohhh, it was a JOY to hear! My mother was the first of seven kids, the daughter of a railroad brakeman. She had four brothers who worked on the track gangs, she had married a sailor and together they owned two bars and a nightclub.

She cussed him UP, down, sideways, backward and inside OUT! She recounted his lineage, his antecedents in the job, his relationship with God, the Devil, three gnus, a yak and a whole HERD of sheep and one buffalo!

I switched schools.

309

[On the Road]

9. That is a Great Story!

I wish my parents had stood up for me like that. In their eyes, the authorities were always right.

[sybylla]

4. I don't do phony cussin'

If I'm going to hell, it might as well be for a good reason. Besides, nothing makes you feel better like using the real thing. Of course, that could be said for a lot of things.

[EstimatedProphet]

5. You forgot Kharkfumb

The invented curse from the show "Fridays"

[JohnLocke]

6. "Nuts."

[Bossy Monkey]

7. An excellent suggestion

But for seeing it 4 minutes too late for editing the poll, I'd probably have added it in.

[On the Road]

8. Actually, My Favorite is "Rowing to Galveston"

Bear with me if you've heard this story (I posted it here a few weeks ago):

In the late 60's, The Smothers Comedy Brothers Hour (sic) was considered a racy show that was always trying to push the limits. CBS insisted on reviewing the script of each show before it aired, and even had a mole working on the set to report any attempts to evade the censors.

Dick and Tommy Smothers knew who the network spy was, and they would do things to drive the network crazy. For example, they would arrange with the other actors to do a skit including the line "I guess she's rowing to Galveston!" Tommy would deliver this line with a wink and a leer, as if it were the dirtiest thing ever spoken. Everyone would break into gales of laughter and start snickering over this meaningless phrase (except the spy, who was clueless).

Two days later they got a stern letter from CBS stating that they were outraged over the attempt to use the obscene phrase "rowing to Galveston" and insisting that they remove it from their script.

[Bossy Monkey]

10. Another great story!

Hey, I can't get any votes, but I get all the great non-obscenity stories!:)

[Bossy Monkey]

11. Dadblamed, consarn, rackin', frackin' kick! n/t

[KamaAina]

12. Felgercarb!

from Battlestar Galactica.

"Felgercarb! My weapon's jammed!"

[Bossy Monkey]

13. Still fits under option 3, but certainly delightful n/t