Feeling clever? Play the "JUST THE CARD I NEEDED" game

[flowomo]

You know, they have greeting cards for just about every event or occasion these days... but not quite. Herein, DU'ers are asked to suggest greeting cards that could be just the card somebody needed, but couldn't find. I'll start with a few examples, then you help fill the rack.

[flowomo]

1. THANK YOU FOR THE DELUXE VIBRATOR

[flowomo]

2. GOOD LUCK AT YOUR COURT MARTIAL

[Earth_First]

23. Don't be an @sshole. Vote Democrat in 2004.

[flowomo]

3. TO MY SON ON HIS RESURRECTION

[DS1]

4. Good luck selling your house

*flip open*

You cheap, self-obsessed asshole.

[MikeG]

5. ON YOUR DISBARMENT

Can you say "You want fries with that?"

[kiahzero]

6. To my college roommate,

Thanks for the answers to that exam.

[Guy Fawkes]

7. Thanks for helping me steal the presidential election!

only for GWB->Jeb

[flowomo]

11. LOL... good one

[DS1]

8. Congratulations on the purchase of your new house

You just got RIPPED OFF sucker!!!

-------------

Yes, many people I know are currently buying/selling houses, and I don't like any of them in the first place.

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. Sounds like you have some home-selling issues, DS1

or home-buying, hard to determine...

[DS1]

13. No, my shitlist is flooded by people who are in the market

People get a state job at my school and immediately buy a home so they'll never get fired, and boy do we have some incompetent fucks working for us.

[Rabrrrrrr]

20. They can't be fired if they have a home?

That's easy job security. And bizarre. Is that a legal thing? or a compassion thing, that no one wants to fire someone who has a mortgage?

[DS1]

21. The latter

nobody gets fired here, they get shuffled until they create the least (or most, depending on how you look at it) noise.

[flowomo]

10. HOPE YOUR STAY IN PURGATORY IS A SHORT ONE

[flowomo]

12. OH MY, SORRY TO HEAR YOU'VE BEEN TORTURED

[kiahzero]

14. Sorry you've got halitosis.

Have some mints.

[Canuckistanian]

15. Congratulations! You've got a new nipple ring!

(flip)
I'm pulling for ya!

[flowomo]

16. CHEER UP! LOTS OF PEOPLE DON'T MAKE IT TO THE TOP OF MT. EVEREST

[arwalden]

17. Congratulations On Your Penis Enlargement And Sagging Scrotum Lift!!

WE CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT!

A speedy recovery to you,

signed,
Your friends at work!

[arwalden]

18. Welcome To The Neighborhood... Turn Down Your Stereo!

And quit curbing your dog on my driveway.

Sincerely,
your neighbors.

[flowomo]

19. CONGRATULATIONS ON GETTING INTO YOUR SAFETY SCHOOL

[CrownPrinceBandar]

22. GUESS WHAT? YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!

[thestatusquo]

24. THANKS FOR WALKING RIGHT BY ME ON THE STREET

AND PRETENDING YOU DIDN'T KNOW ME.