And now...intimate musings

[ForrestGump]

Chastity... the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions.
-- Aldous Huxley

One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.
-- Jane Austen

Well, to start with, there's that whole multiple thing.

Give me chastity and continence -- but not yet.
-- Saint Augustine

Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.
-- Steve Martin

My wife is a sex object. Evertime I ask for sex, she objects.
-- Les Dawson

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
-- Woody Allen

I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.
-- Bernard Manning

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls.
-- Groucho Marx

It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it.
-- Winston Churchill

]A nymphomaniac is a woman as obsessed with sex as the average man.
-- Mignon McLaughlin

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
-- Woody Allen

There is nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed.
-- George Burns

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one.
-- Woody Allen

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
-- Steve Martin

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less.
-- Brendan Francis

Let's forget about the six feet and talk about the seven inches.
-- Mae West, on being told that a new male acquaintance was 6'7"

Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.
-- Woody Allen

Outside of every thin woman is a fat man trying to get in.
-- Katherine Whitehorn

I like to wake up each morning feeling a new man.
-- Jean Harlow

Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, / Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.
-- William Shakespeare

If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
-- George Carlin

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said "no."
-- Woody Allen

I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.
-- J. Edgar Hoover

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful -- provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
-- Woody Allen

Love is the answer; but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
-- Woody Allen

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
-- George Burns

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
-- Groucho Marx

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
-- Groucho Marx

[Wonk]

1. Locking, no sex threads, sorry Death Stud.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x1523950#1524331

[ForrestGump]

2. Hey! Sex? I don't get it...

Wait a minute. Let me rephrase that...

[GOPisEvil]

3. I have a question for the late Mr. Hoover (should a seance be scheduled)

Regarding this quote:

I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.
-- J. Edgar Hoover

Now, would that situation arise if, say, an interstate truck driver were receiving "oral-genital intimacy" while driving his loaded truck across state lines? Just wondering.

[TXlib]

4. No, but I think the driver would definitely unload.

[DS1]

5. might weigh in an ounce lighter between stations

and arouse suspicion...

[SarahB]

6. The Dalai Lama:

"When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace."

Hope you're feeling better.