I need some poems

[pagerbear]

I have a friend who is a composer, and he has agreed to write me a song or two. The poems I've suggested are either still under copyright or didn't inspire him very much. I know this is a literate bunch, so I can ask y'all for some poems that might be appropriate. Remember, they can't still be under copyright.

If any DU poets wish us to consider their poems for this purpose, that would be totally cool, too.

Please post your suggested poem here--we'll all enjoy reading the poems, I'm sure. (If you want me to consider something you've written but don't wish to post it publicly, pm me.)

[trumad]

1. .

Pity the poor neutron who thought he was a proton, but wasn't positive.

[havocmom]

2. um, anything we wrote would be copyright material

and why would we give away labor?

[pagerbear]

3. Perhaps I was foolish

...in thinking people might allow us to use their poems. Clearly that is not the case. Perhaps I should ask for this thread to be deleted.

[donhakman]

4. Political poems?

I have written over 1,200(perhaps more) political poems and songs over the last 4 years.
Besides being an artist/political cartoonist I am also a song writer and parody author of the Capitol Steps/Mark Russel type. However I do not perform.
The biggest problem with parody humor is that linear minds tend to accuse me of believing in the jokes I write.

You name a topic and I already have a verse for it.
From Anthrax to Zimbabwe I gottem all...copyrighted.

(to the snappy Martin Mull tune 'Jesus is Easy')
The Anthrax song - the Uncommon Cold. by Don Hakman c 2001




I paid a toll, I got some change, I went to town and bought some stuff and then I took the train I ate a burger, a soda, and crap I shouldnt oughta, cuz now I got the anthrax and I'm wondrin where its from...

................
(CHORUS)
Anthrax is easy when you're startin to sneeze your gonna wonder if you're gonna grow old.

Anthrax is easy cuz its cured with Cipro and not contagious like the uncommon cold.
................

I went to work, and like a jerk, I used the water fountain and got somthin on my shirt and in a letter, I opened, I really should know better, but Ed McMann just said I'd won and now I'm wondrin where its from ..
(chorus)

I came home ,I used the phone, I called my doc in quarantine and asked him for some pills and in the bathroom, later, I used some toilet paper and I've got a sore not there before I'm wondrin where its from.
(chorus)

I watched the news, took off my shoes, I took a shower for an hour then I went to bed but in my dreams, I screamed , and then woke up Irene , then told her to beware the air I don't know where its from
(chorus)

In the morning, I got changed, I went to town and bought some stuff and then I took the train I ate a pizza, eclair, and some stuff that had grown hair but now I got the anthrax and I'm wondrin where its from...


Anthrax is easy if you're startin to sneeze your gonna wonder if you're gonna grow old.

Anthrax is easy cuz its cured with Cipro and Its everywhere ,,,I'm telling ya they got anthrax.... every wheeeeere.



...............


I have lots of original songs but people here will best hear in thier heads the tunes they already know, so here are some Muslim parody songs.(don't worry, I have some for each major religion)

I don't think I need to mention the melody that goes with these:


Think of your fellow man
Cut off his thieving hand
Put a lil Allah in your heart
You see it's getting late
Oh please don't hesitate
Put a lil Allah in your heart
And the world will be a bitter place
And the world will be a bitter place
For you and me
You just wait and see

Another day goes by
Circumsized children cry
Put a lil Allah in you heart
If you want the world to know
Just let our jihad grow
Put a lil Allah in your heart
And the world will be a bitter place
And the world will be a bitter place
For you and me
You just wait and see
Wait and see
Take a good look around
And if you're lookin' down
Put a lil Allah in your heart


I hope when you decide
Islam will be your guide
Put a lil Allah in your heart
And the world will be a bitter place
And the world will be a bitter place
For you and me
You just wait and see
Put a lil Allah in your heart

==========



I'd like to build the world a mosque
And furnish it with faith
Bring Africans and Chinamen
And every other race


That's the call I hear
That's the call of Islam
That's the call of Iman
That's the word of God

I'd like to see the world for once
Without a single Jew
Hear an echo through the hills
"Islam Is pure and true”

That's the call I hear
That's the call of Islam
That's the call of Iman
That's the word of God

I’d like to teach the world the truth
And hear them praise their Lord
To work and pray all God dam day
And earn their just reward

That's the call I hear
That's the call of Islam
That's the call of Iman
That's the word of God

==========


When the night has come
And the land is dark
And Islam
Is the only, light we see

I won't cry, I won't cry
No, I won't, shed a tear
Just as long
As I know
Allah's near

Chorus:
So sisters, brothers, kneel by me
O, pray with me and kneel by me
And believe, that Islam
Sets us free

When the sky that we look upon
Shall tumble and fall
And the earth shall crumble
'neath the sea

In that time, we shall fear
Only All ah
And our deeds, of the past
Will be clear.



...............

pot song to "a few of my favorite things"


Pot makes you choke like a goat on galloshes
Cost of the smoke could buy boats for your bosses,
Go for a drive around paranoid town.
These are the highs that will make you feel down.

When your lungs ache
and you eat cake
for a day, or two

Then you will know how pot improves your life
Like when you have the flu.

da dea da dea da dea da dea da dea da
da dea da dea da dea da dea da dea da
da dea da dea da dea da dea da dea
da dea da dea makes you forget the words

When the cops come
for your freedom
and you're thrown in jail

Your source for more pot will be better by far
as you grow old and pale.





For internet forum adicts...

Get your puter runin
Head out to the rec room
Lookin for adventure
and whoever’s in the chat room.
Yeah darling gonna post some crap now
Take e-world in a fake embrace
Fire all of your puns at once
And explode cyberspace.

Have a smoke and coffee
Listen to a pop song
Racin to get in
with a feelin that I belong.
Yeah darling gonna post some crap now
Take e-world in a fake embrace
Fire all of your puns at once
And explode cyberspace

Unlike true nature’s child
We are bored, bored to be wild
We can feel complete
I never wanna delete

Bored to be mild
Bored to be mild
Bored to be mild




I have even more non political verse...


Dancing by ones and zeros
We traced outlines of who we were
I was feeling kind of dizzy
but I knew I wasn’t sure.
Painting one last epic picture
My heart open by a thread
I considered one last cigarette
I lit one full of dred.

And so I wandered and wondered
Who we were supposed to be
A vessel for the future
or a branch upon a tree.

She said there is no reason
Things will be as they will be
But I wandered through my memories
My dreams were there to see
There were things I guessed correctly
even Einstein would not deny.
My mistakes were all forsaken
Only truth poured through my eyes

And so I wandered and wondered
Who we were supposed to be
A vessel for the future
or a branch upon a tree.


Or perhaps the saddest song you have ever heard.

To kill a child
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The baby's thrilled to walk
Her eyes surprised
with earthly delight.
I melt with pride at her first free flight.
On TV Dick Cheney chokes
"We'll lose more lives here
than those overseas"
I believe he speaks of disease.
A briefing at work today
would make an athiest pray
I am but bare brittle bone
"Hon, can you put her on the phone?"
An age of conquistadors
When tribes were murdered
9 out of 10 from disease
That cold history, now makes me freeze
In sane times the insane mom
would drown a helpless child.
"Sweetie you're fine" I pretend
Could I watch her agony to the end?
Behind lead eyes I keep secret
If she's a victim
And the crime is small pox
Could I end her torture at all costs?
Baby remember when you walked?
Shhh it'll be fine.
Here honey take this, you will sleep.
I'll be next, I'll not have long to weep,





I will close here since familiarity breeds contempt.
I have been banned from over 20 websites due to my verses.
As Bill Mahrer learned, there is always someone who will decide to take personal offense and ignore the joke.

[pagerbear]

5. These are great!